so... I have lung cancer

The pulmonologist phoned to tell me the news. She only diagnoses the cancer. I still need a Thoracic team and surgeon. I need a brain MRI to find out if it has spread there, which is a common direction for lung cancer. She does not know if it is treatable. She said she will reach out to my radiologist and chemo oncologist. She said she would try to put them in touch with a Thorasic team. My new 3D CT scan is tomorrow at 12:30 pm but my Radiologist wants me to phone her mobile number before I head out tomorrow for my appointment. They think my treatment can go through without affecting any lung surgery or treatment. My Radiologist has already started reaching out to the Thoracic team on my behalf. My radiation treatments take place June 12 - June 26. I will have to drive myself to the treatments, which is fine - it’s just a long commute at 75 to 90 minutes. I am told a lot of people drive themselves to radiation treatments - I just hate to do it alone when my mind is in a bad place. MonsterMustDie doesn’t want me to stay at the Duke Cancer house during my daily radiation treatments but he will not take any time off work so he can only help me when they can schedule my treatments late in the day. He works weekdays 8:00 AM - 12:00 PM and he will only available if appointments and procedures are after 2:00 pm. I really need more people caring for me and driving me when I can't do it myself. I think I still need to look into staying at the Cancer House in Durham during my radiation treatments despite his objections. That would at least cover that part of my tests and treatments if I stay there. I don’t know who I can get to help here while I am going through all this. Karen and Bob will help all they can but they have a life to maintain too and a trip to Charleston they’ve been planning for over a year on June 20-26, in the middle of my radiation treatments.

note to self

Maybe my left lung will hurt a bit tomorrow. It's a bit hurty at the moment because I started coughing after, quite typically, some coffee going down the wrong way. It's very common for me to be doing nothing and syliva going down the wrong way and making me cough but it is an especially unwelcome event this week afte my lung biopsy last Friday. So far, I've been very fortunate to not have to cough or clear my throat excessively while everything is healing from the procedure. This habit of things going down the wrong way is apparently, according to Jennifer, something I inherited from our biological mother, Gwen.

waiting

The final piece of tape fell off my incision yesterday. 

Today, I had lunch with Karen at San Luis restaurant. 

The new humidifier I bought from Amazon arrived broken in the box. Some parts was completely smashed, as if someone packed a previously broken appliance. I tried to return it for a refund but Amazon sent back an email later that a new one was on its way instead of refunding my purchase. The whole process was too messed up to try to make Amazon just keep the broken appliance and refund my money, so we decided to wait and see if the replacement is okay when it arrives. 

I have a telemed Zoom interview early tomorrow morning in preparation for my lung biopsy on Friday. Then we wait for results and new plans. 

more bad news

Just when I started thinking everything will be ok, I got more bad news. Got a very nervous call from the radiologist who ordered the CT scan for post-surgery radiation treatments. They found something at the top of my lungs now. She scheduled me ASAP for a diagnostic 3D CT scan the next morning at Duke Cancer Center. Seems I can't win for losing these days. I'm now having to do triage on my medical appointments, rescheduling the diagnostic well-care and checkups for my new cancer screening and treatments. Just as we got home, I was pulling into the driveway trying to listen to MonsterMustDie when the Radiologist phoned. Once they saw the CT image, they scheduled a PET scan on Friday. Karen came with me for the PET scan. We got there just in time near the end of the day. Everyone at the desk was gone for the day by the time I was finished. Now, we wait. Everyone has told me not to look at my test results until I speak with my doctor. She is supposed to phone me Monday, hopefully early so things can be scheduled and rescheduled now. I was supposed to start radiation treatments on Tuesday but I am certain radiation will have to be postponed now because I will now need surgery to remove cancer in my left lung. I hope it is treatable and curable. I hope it has been found at a very early stage. I hope there is no more cancer in my body to find and that it never shows up again. So far, they have found three different types of cancer in my body.

dreaming

Last night I dreamed I was in NYC with my parents, going to Broadway plays, shopping, staying in a very nice hotel, etc. We met Alton Brown and his wife, actually my pal Nicki in the dream, and he invited us to join them for dinner at a very posh restaurant. The color pink, dark wood, and crystal glass figured into the dream a lot. Everything looked perfect. Everyone was friendly and happy.

more to come

I had an appointment this morning with my chemo oncologist at Duke. My OncotypeDX labs came back very good and I will not have to go through full-on Chemotherapy. However, I will still have to take estrogen-suppression drugs (a daily pill). I also will have to have a IV infusion of Zometa to combat osteoporosis from the hormone-suppression every six months. The next thing I have to do is a course of Radiation therapy that will probably just be two weeks rather than four. I have my 3D CT Scan for that series next week.

still waiting on test results

My post-op checkups with the surgeon and radiologist this week went ok. The only bad surprise is that, during surgery, they found a much smaller 4mm cancerous tumor beside the original on of a different type - lobular. The surgeon was confident they got all of it at that time and there should be no more surprises of that sort. My cancer is phase 1A. They are still waiting for the OncotypeDX test results to determine whether I need full-on Chemo. So far, they are hopeful that I only need the 5-year hormone suppression therapy. On a better note, my radiologist said, according to recent studies, there is only a 1% better outcome doing half as much radiation treatments and she strongly prefers doing less radiation on me. The radiologist, assuming it will be a good result by then, set me up for my pre-radiation CT scan the first week of May.

recovery

Someone from thedentist office called me before they opened at 7:30AM and asked if I could be there by 8:00AM. I threw myself together and they let me in immediately. They replaced the broken crown with what they said was a much stronger material and I was out before 10:00AM. 

I decided to finally get my hair cut at a nearby salon, a tiny little one-woman shop, that I found online. She did a great job and was a joy to talk to. I'll be back to that salon next time I need a haircut. 

I also made a call get the ball rolling for a post-pollen dump roof and gutters cleaning next month, depending on my medical schedule and how soon the oak pollen finishes it's dump. 

falling apart

And just like that, I broke the crown on my back of my right jaw again while snackingI guess my future is no more crunchy snacks. This makes me so sad now, on top of everything else I'm dealing with physically. I just want to cry. This time, sadly, the dentist office is closed for the evening. URGH!!!!!

after surgery reset

I didn't poop for two days after surgery.  I had three cups of coffee and oatmeal for breakfast. No poop. I also had an oatmeal cup for dinner. Still no poop. At 11:15pm, I realized I couldn't sleep and perhaps that was due to the amount of coffee I had in the morning after cutting down on my coffee consumption the last couple of weeks. I took a Ducolax from an old box that has been in the pantry for years and then listened to podcasts until I faded to sleep some time after 1:00 a.m. At 5:45 a.m., I finally pooped.

I got up at 7: 00 a.m. and I hope I can start to get on a regular routine. Now that my gut seems to be getting back on track, my sleep schedule needs adjustment. 

Looking forward to being able to shower tomorrow. 

starting the process

Sitting here checking email and messages while waiting for a telemedicine call this morning before my appointments this afternoon at Duke. MonsterMustDie runs into my office and says “Do you know what time it is?!” My answer “It's 10:00 AM. My appointments start at 12:40 check-in time.” The drive to Duke in Durham, NC is 1 hour, 15 minutes away. He says ok and walks out of my office. He also wants to go to the Scrap Exchange to shop for art supplies for his future assemblages. I am not sure if I will be in the mood to spend an additional hour in the store after my appointments but I definitely do not want to risk being distracted by shopping before my appointments. The last one today is a blood-draw for at 2:40 PM. Seems like we can revisit that possibility after I am finished with my appointments today and depending on what mood I am in.

low spot

Yesterday, after being inundated on TV and online with metastatic breast cancer treatment ads, I was feeling hopeless and defeated and angry. I had troubled dreams all night. This morning, I spent a large amount of time listening to Senator Cory Booker's marathon speech. He is amazing and I am glad we have people like him and Raphael Warnock in our government, fighting the good fight.

starting cancer treatment

I spent most of Wednesday at Duke Cancer center. Karen accompanied me there and drove. 

now I am a cancer patient

I had a biopsy done on Fat Tuesday, March 4. I got my test results on the following Friday. I have breast cancer. I have what looks like I have what is probably stage 1 invasive breast cancer. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma 7 - 8mm They started to put me off til the end of April to make an appointment to consult with doctors at Atrium. My friend Karen, who was with me when I got the results, immediately spoke up and said I wanted to go to Duke. She already had the new patient contact information for Duke and she is shepherding me to go straight to Duke with this. I’d have to wait until Monday to hear from Atrium or Duke about sending my records and samples to Duke. Here’s hoping I can get in ASAP to deal with this. The good news today is I got my first trio of appointments at Duke scheduled for Wednesday, March 26, starting at 9:00AM, with the last appointment of the day starting at 1:00PM. Karen is going with me on Wednesday to my appointments in Durham, NC.