sharing too much

I have one new coworker who is working with a Covid infection today at the dress shop.  I heard her casually discussing it with Michael, a retired military man who works there.

This, minutes after he told me his sister works in a place where no one wears masks now, as if to suggest we shouldn't wear them here. 

Two weeks ago, I showed MonsterMustDie some LED remote-controlled candles I planned to use for Halloween decor on the dining table and the fireplace mantle. A week ago, he saw me get them in the mail from Amazon and set them up with new batteries, which he helped me install in all of them. Tonight, he came up to me looking kinda scared and told me to keep an eye on those candles I had lit in the living room because he didn't want them to be a fire hazard. I had to remind him that they were just LEDs, on a timer, that he had seen me set up a week ago. Fortunately, he wasn't upset by his memory loss (I am) and he just said "Oh, really? They look great." and that was that. He just sat on the couch and went back to watching Dracula with Klaus Kinski on Netflix.  

mime of mine

 I think out loud a lot. It is a symptom of loneliness, I suppose. I'm used to being alone most of the time. When I talk to myself, sometimes if someone near me might ask who I'm talking to and my answer is, honestly, anyone who is listening. Sometimes it's asking for assistance on something when I know the people near me are actually busy with their own stuff and I really hope they will overhear me and offer to help or at least volunteer an answer to a question. I am used to not being listened to so I don't dare communicate directly a lot of the time. 

Now, I find myself occasionally gesturing to myself as well. 

I need to get a life. 

always something

Argh!  I cut my thumb on a pair of old scissors. I was assisting an elderly woman with some tags on a shirt she had purchased and was wearing out. I was trying not to clip her hair or the shirt she had on, which her son had just bought for her to wear out to eat. It was unavoidable, as much as I tried to be careful, but I'll be angry about it all day.

insomnia

Could not sleep last night. At nearly 3 AM, I decided to take a sleep aid and I slept until 10 AM this morning. Last night's restlessness was probably a result of anxiety over the thought that I have wasted the last seven years of my life here alone, essentially,  without any livelihood or community.  Other than K & B and one pal at the dress shop, I really don't have any friends here and I'm too different from the culture here. The unpredictable schedule at the dress shop prevents me from any hobbies or classes I might try to take but it's the only work I can get here. I do not have freedom of movement at the house to really set up anything there so my days are spent staring out from a static position at the store or pacing inside the house. 

Birthday gift

Karen is back from her extended trip to Chicago to help her mother. She and Bob got together with us last night at Casa WereMonster for my birthday.  It was great to hang out with them and have a little birthday dinner party. Karen cooked chicken parmesan for us here since their house is in the middle of a big renovation project.  

She and Bob gave me this dark fairies that she found during her time in Illinois. She was made by a local artist there whose name I do not have. She's a lovely dark pixie with her tiny bat companion.