reconnect or death

As if these last two years have not been bad enough, there is a strong statement made when someone you were once close to dies weeks ago and none of your mutual friends bother to let you know about it. I just realized I am out of a group that I thought I was still a member of. Considering that I hardly participate in anything these days like I used to, I don't blame anyone. There is no doubt that I appear not to care or have gone my own way somewhere else. The truth is, I've gone nowhere, done nothing, been terribly lonely and bored on top of dealing with low self esteem issues from lack of work, play, and sex. The work thing, I have no control over but I am still working at it as best I can think of what to do. I need to pursue relationships with the people the people I hold dear more in earnest this year despite what goes on anywhere else.

I suppose this is my New Years Resolution: Stop moping. Make things happen with other human beings. Try to follow up on every thing.

I am open to more suggestions on what I could be missing. Perhaps someone else can see the things flying over my head.