Waiting for this week to be over

Adding to the negative this week. MonsterMustDie got the call a bit after midnight around 12:30 a.m. Tuesday morning his uncle Jerry had died. It was not a complete surprise because his health had been declining rapidly for the last two years but you never are completely prepared for events like that. We traveled to Alabama on Wednesday to attend the service at the same funeral home we've been to for his father, mother, and aunt Mary - Jerry's wife. I'm becoming familiar with all of his family in a relationship based solely on illness and death. There are no happy moments in Alabama and I hope this is the last I will see of that state for a long time. His family comes from a small town about half an hour outside Birmingham. There we sat for a winding, somewhat disorganized sermon from a minister who quite obviously did not know the deceased or their family and I felt sorta embarrassed for the man speaking even if he wasn't. It was an awkward service. 

Of course, the worst thing about funerals is that the guest of honor is never there. God save us from more funerals where the officiant did not know the deceased. Better to have friends and relatives just share thoughts and memories with each other. 

Most of Thursday was spent on yard work and just pecking around on Facebook. A neighborhood friend came over in the early afternoon to sort through the odds and ends of costumes I've collected and we put together a simple witch outfit with a couple of wig choices for her. She brought some of their last green tomatoes of the season and flowers from the garden. That was the highlight of the day. I might have joined the neighborhood Bunco game last night but by late afternoon they had precisely enough spaces to fill the tables. I was sort of waiting to commit myself and had said I'd join in if they had a space open and still needed players to avoid "ghosts" at the table. 

Today I am feeling more depressed than I have in a while. The money I am spending on Halloween costumes, party supplies, and groceries only reminds me of how long I've been unemployed and I wonder how long funds will hold out. I keep driving into town to check the mailbox for paychecks from two sources that I've been expecting but nothing has come to me yet for the work I've done recently. The condo in midtown is still empty because it needs to be cleaned and painted and the ceiling in the bedroom needs to be patched. That is something else weighing on my mind and wallet.

The costume isn't fun as I'd hoped this year. I was looking forward to hobbling something relatively inexpensive together with what ever materials I already had at home and now the project has cost far too much for my budget and looks, in my opinion, worse than something simple and homemade would have in some parts. MonsterMustDie is working to make his costume as detailed and movie-perfect as possible. I kinda just want to have fun. His first small criticisms of my ideas extinguished any interest I have in it at this point. I'm afraid to do anything because it'll be done wrong. 

Two things together would probably improve my mood: more paid work and nights out with friends.