falling down

MonsterMustDie has a business trip to Atlanta in mid-July and we are invited to an Atlanta wedding in early September. I am still trying to take time off work to go with john in July to Atlanta but it looks like I will never be able to leave home again.

The job that I want the most that is near home and not as physically damaging, which I'm still training for has given me the time off already to go with him to Atlanta. They only give me two or three half days a week, anyway, at this point. I work 8 to 12 hours there.

The other job has not given me the time off. In a dick move, when I requested the days off for MonsterMustDie's trip to Atlanta, my manager cut my schedule to only one day a week and put that day smack in the middle of MonsterMustDie's trip. He's also not, at this point in time, giving me time off for the wedding. I would quit that job if I was not so desperate for work. Now, I've got to try to work my way up in his good graces (probably completing forklift training) if I want to get on a better schedule again. Retail jobs do not care about employee retention. There is always a new crop of employees to come in the next month. They have never given me the time off I’ve requested, no matter how far in advance I've asked for it with the exception of the times I was taking care of my mother and going to her funeral. I am surprised they didn't fire me in October or February but they kept me on board then. 

I put in two applications at a bank for Customer Assistance jobs but was turned down for both jobs this week. These were jobs that only require a high-school diploma and I was turned down for them. By email. No interview or human to speak to. 

Meanwhile, my tenant is leaving the midtown condo and moving in with her boyfriend and the condo is somehow infested with fleas. None of the neighbors have a flea infestation and she has no pets. I am hoping that the infestation disappears when the condo is empty. I suspect something is going on with all the clutter she has in there - every closet is bulging with her stuff and the living room stays jam packed with all sorts of things. It borders on looking like a hoarder's home, which makes any pest control treatments very ineffective. She's had Orkin in twice to treat the condo and Cindi has helped her do several treatments of diatomaceous earth.

I would love to be back in Atlanta. I would love to visit friends and family and go to the occasional baby shower or wedding. Things would seem sunnier to me if only my manager would give me the days off my inconsistent schedule that I requested or if my favorite job was giving me 3 or 4 full days of work each week so I could just have one easy job close to home.

MonsterMustDie makes all the money and all the decisions about the house and yard. I sit at home, unable to do anything, and stew in my own juices most days. He gets to travel occasionally for work (I know - not a pleasure trip) or social activities (pleasure trip) and I have to stay here so I can work for 6 hours to pay for email, cell phone, and car. I am losing the battle to keep all of those things that keep me minimally functional as a human being. I have no life here. I hate it here. I am trying so hard and constantly having the world slam down on me and making me start over again and again with no friends or support network.