life in the void

I've been lonely and crazy-bored ever since moving to North Carolina. Constant twittering existential angst is my normal mode and I have not grown to enjoy the silence. Most days, I mourn the dead brain cells and atrophed creative mind I used to have. I am lucky enough to have made friends with two very lovely people who live just 19 miles away in Greensboro. She is an artist and her husband is an engineer. They interface very well with us but now this quarantine life has stopped most of our contact with them. We've pushed the envelope a couple of times and, at a safe distance, gotten together with them in our backyard to hang out and chat by a fire and show them MonsterMustDie's latest home project, a Japanese garden.

Most people I know are in Atlanta, working remotely or in reduced hours. I am completely without work or activities now. All of the things I wanted to have time to do - ceramics and studio classes, repairs and renovations on the kitchen and bathrooms of this house, require places and services that are not available now. My brain is not made for online courses where I have no interaction with other human beings to keep me alert. Sleep is weird these days. Most nights I can't go to bed until after midnight and dreams are usually vivid collages of mundane things I do all day. Sometime I dream of people who are dead. Sometimes I dream of ideas for movies or other projects that I can't make alone. Cooking is frustrating when we don't eat the same things. I give MonsterMustDie has priority use of the TV to avoid conflict and we don't like the same shows usually. He spends his evenings watching nothing other than Japanese animation and old SciFi that he's seen dozens of times. I like some of that but I can't stand seeing the same thing all the time. He fills his days between the new garden project, selling antiques online (the only income in the house now), and far too much time on Facebook getting angrier at the world outside.

I spend most of my days cleaning house, making odd lists, shopping online, and trying to stay out of the way.

The highlight of today for me was lunch. I had a bit of salmon with a honey mustard sauce and a nice arrugula salad.