Then I started worrying that something might actually be just starting to burn in the house and decided to wake MonsterMustDie up. My first question was "Did you burn something in the kitchen?" His reply was "No." When I told him the house smelled like something burning and asked if he smelled it, he said everything was fine. I looked in the attic. I looked in the basement. Nothing. Then he got up wild-eyed and came into the kitchen and finally confessed, matter-of-factly like he hadn't just denied it twice, that he burned something in the microwave. He still has not told me what it was or how he disposed of it. I think I can assume he threw the smouldering remains into the back yard to get it out of the house fast and that's why I didn't find it in the trash. The microwave was coated with a brown film. I unplugged it as a reminder not to use it until I get to check it for damage and try to thoroughly clean it. He then refused to go back to bed and started attempting to clean it with paper towels and scented countertop cleaner, which I unsuccessfully tried to make him stop using. Today the house still smells awful. We're both trying to wipe down every surface and burning scented candles now to mask the odor.
How to you burn something to bits in a microwave when you have to set a timer for everything?
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