missing too many things

After a long holiday weekend of missed opportunities last week and this week, I've kinda pulled away from my Facebook checking and posting for a while, in shame and self-pity.

Meanwhile, every conversation with my mother is increasingly unpleasant. She really is impossible to argue with when it comes to the move to North Carolina in the near future. She even asked me to move in with her, at the retirement community, to avoid going out of state. I can't seem to make her understand that this is impossible. I can't make her accept that the NC move is the only logical thing to do now - for all I know, it might be a positive change if I can find something to do with myself there. I get a small amount of freelance and temp work in Atlanta but it's far from enough to make a living for myself. There is no retirement fund parachute since all my accounts disappeared when my father died and the recession hit all at once. No. North Carolina is the only answer and her escalating disagreements with me make me dread every conversation with her.

After the move, when it's all said and done, I hope that it will be easier to talk to her. For now, I can't deal with it.

I am extremely thankful that MonsterMustDie has a very good job that is only going to be better at the new location. I am thankful that he is willing to support me entirely after the move. I am not looking forward to being a "kept woman" but I am thankful he is willing to take care of me and I hope I can make his investment in me worthwhile.