snow

We are still edging back into a normal schedule after being shut down here in North Carolina from the snow this weekend. This was the most snow I have seen since we moved here.
Everything was closed down Sunday. The studio was closed Monday but the dress shop was calling everyone, including me, trying to find people to show up for work that day. I suppose the corporate office in NYC saw snow days as no excuse to close doors and stay home. They just don't get it. Plus, people who work in retail usually have old tiny cars that could not make it over snow banks and ice walls like pickup trucks and SUVs the size of tanks attempt to do. I must remember to just stay parked uphill in my driveway next time, rather than parking on the street as if I can drive out of the neighborhood, because there is no getting out of our street in my car anyway. The county snow plows did clear the main streets around us but left walls of snow and ice to either side blocking all of the driveways and side streets.
I made it into work a couple of hours late on Tuesday with MonsterMustDie driving me to work in his slightly better car after he finally negotiated parking lots, hills, and streets to circle back around and pick me up in front of the house. He'll do it again today and by tomorrow I should be able to make it to work as usual. He learned to drive in the midwest and lived a number of years in Ohio as a young adult so he still has good winter driving skills. I am not a snow driver. I hate driving even in good weather and clear streets.
Speaking of parking on the street, I now remember that last time it snowed and MonsterMustDie parked on the street, his car was broken into and windows were smashed. Luckily, no one tried to get into my car but I would have stayed parked uphill next to the back door if I'd remembered that.

Clearly, I need to get tall boots and better outdoor clothes if it snows like this again, although by the time it does, if it does, the shops will probably be filled with sundresses and beach gear.

What I learned today

Mudlarking
A mudlark is someone who scavenges in river mud for items of value, a term used especially to describe those who scavenged this way in London during the late 18th and 19th centuries.

Things are better today.

The doctor took off my tape and gauze yesterday and I got to shower and wash my hair last night. Hooray! I still have white threads from the gauze patch stuck to my chest where they glued me shut.

Cat Burglar

Today at work,  several people said I look like a cat burglar in my black knit cap and turtleneck.  I haven't been able to wash my hair in the shower since my surgery last Tuesday so I'm finding different ways to cover my greasy head.
They taped me shut with a small gauze pad at the top that I can't get wet.  Today is my postoperative consultation and I hope I get a more solid schedule on my postoperative care.

Update: The doctor removed my tape and gauze bandage, revealing just stitches and glue... with a few shreds of the gauze attached. He said I can stop babying the wound now and take a shower without fear of getting the surgical site wet.

Post Op Holiday

So today my GI issues are still going on despite two doses of imodium. Monstermustdie drove me to the hospital to be tested for a bacterial infection. After finding what desk to check in at, get processed, and wait, I was taken to a small filthy bathroom to leave a sample for the lab. They said my test results will probably be ready by Monday afternoon. 

Meanwhile, I'm glad that MonsterMustDie is not having the same problems I am having. I would hate for him to be sick as a result of my visit to the hospital.

Clostridium difficile
One of the most well-known HAIs, C. diffcauses inflammation of the colon, and symptoms can range from diarrhea to life-threatening colitis. Antibiotic-associated diarrhea is the most common symptom, following medication ingestion that eliminates good bacteria from the intestine along with the bad. The bacteria are transmitted via the fecal-oral route, most commonly being transferred from an infection site to another patient by a healthcare provider's hands. C. diff is resistant to many routine cleaning products, including alcohol-based hand cleaners, so it is able to survive in clinical locations for extended periods of time. C. diff can usually be treated with antibiotics, but in some cases a stool transplant may help restore bacterial imbalances.

Thanksgiving + Surgery

I went in for breast surgery on Tuesday. MonsterMustDie took the day off work to transport me to the Surgery Center and back home. I took a shower and washed my hair just before going, knowing I won't be able to was my hair for several days afterward just because I have to keep the surgical area dry and I can't lift my arms.
Everything went fine. I was kinda put off by the casual sanitary conditions there. The nurse, Janey, tore off tape for my IV and laid it on the footrest of the chair I was in until she was ready to use it. The arms of the chair in the prep room were sticky. I don't want to consider myself OCD about cleanliness - far from it, probably - but this was a medical facility.
Oh, well...
They sent me home with a Spanks-style tube top over my chest and a small ice pack over my left breast. I also had to purchase electronic leg compression devices that I wore home and will have to wear to sleep in for the next 9 - 10 days.

Wednesday morning before work, I managed to give myself a shallow sponge bath in the tub with my hair tied up and about three layers of plasic wrap around my chest to try to keep it dry. I'm planning to wear my hair tied back all week in a pony tail while I'm at work. I wore an old athletic bra-top, that was probably inadequate support, to work under my turtleneck sweater. It seemed like it would work okay but by the end of the work-day I was experiencing some discomfort. I ended up trading it in for a regular bra to sleep in last night. This morning, I woke up with immediate liquid bowel movements that I hope will cease as soon as everything is empty. I took an Immodium and am hoping for the best result because this is the worse day for GI troubles.

Today is Thanksgiving and I'm planning to make a mushroom tart with some beautiful wild mushrooms I got at the Farmers Market. We are invited to Karen and Bob's house in Greensboro for Thanksgiving. We're also bringing roasted vegetables and braised greens as a last minute thing. MonsterMustDie did not believe the tart and a small batch of sweet white turnips was enough.

This instead of That

The appointment I had for a biopsy of a cyst became a consultation instead of undergoing the procedure.  Rather than doing a biopsy and afterwards taking out the cyst regardless of what the biopsy shows, they are going with just the removal the cyst. This will be done under general anesthesia and MonsterMustDie has already made arrangements to take the day off to transport me.  That gives them a much better sample than a needle biopsy would, so why do two things instead of one. My doctor told me that he feels confident that it is totally benign but it won't go away on its own and might be a problem later so he wants to remove it.

painful bits

This morning before work, I have an appointment for a needle biopsy on a cyst in my left breast.
Nearly 30 years ago, I had a biopsy followed by a cyst removal in the right breast. Not looking forward to this procedure at all.

Also, my feet and legs hurt more than usual this morning.

driven to distraction

I can’t seem to get anything done tonight. That is all.

fashion statement

Now that the weather is cooler, I've been wearing my old skull sweater to work in the morning. Yesterday, one of my co-workers told me he'd like to have a jumpsuit made out of the same knitted fabric as my my sweater.

Redeemed

MonsterMustDie did nothing last week for our anniversary or my birthday.  Today, he took me to lunch at Crafted and gave me a belated birthday tiki cup and American Gods DVD.

I've felt ill all day. It finally occurs to me that it is probably from the change in the weather and the wild ups and downs in barometric pressure.

the promise of sleep

MonsterMustDie worked all night on the project for the Mill Collective. He got home at 5:00 a.m. just in time for me to wake up for work and for him to fall into bed for a couple of hours. Then, he gets up and does it all again today to finish everything in time for the Market.

Living with a narcissist

You can't fix a narcissist. You can edit and set boundaries your relationship with the narcissist and concentrate on other more positive relationships instead.
Enjoy what you share but don't make that person the main investment of yourself. 

9 Facts to Know About Narcissistic Personality Disorder Before Calling Someone a Narcissist

No body there

As an update on my cousin's
Death last week,  I got a text yesterday from my brother letting us  know there will be a small memorial for him on Wednesday. There's no way either of us can get off work to make the trip down to Georgia.  That's probably for the best. Our presence at a funeral we weren't invited to would,  at best, be very awkward and uncomfortable for everyone. The entire family shut us out when my mother died. I suppose they will just scatter ashes in the park and be done with it.

Trying to fulfill needs

I notice that MonsterMustDie has been requiring a lot more of my attention lately. He seems to be looking specifically for approval and praise for his creative efforts. This from the man who, at best, has no interest in what I do.

Still, I'm trying to be positive and encouraging but that does not seem to be enough for him. I'm frustrated by this situation and I don't know how to deal with this or why it's happening.

another death in the family

I've gotten so used to no one calling that I have not been remembering to turn my cell phone on when I am not at work. A call from my brother came in tonight on MonsterMustDie's phone. He wanted to let me know that there was one more legal form that we both need to sign next time I am in Atlanta. Also, BTW, the cousin that we grew up with is dead. He committed suicide a few days ago.
My niece found out by accident, reading a facebook post by his daughter-in-law. No one in the family bothered to tell us what was going on. I haven't heard from any of my mother's family since her funeral and neither has my brother.

I asked how his inlaws were and got the latest news from my sister-in-law. Her family has been going through a lot of transitions. I told them we were okay, that I probably would not be able to make a trip for a long time because I am working two jobs now (hopefully, he can mail any forms we have to sign in tandem a just have a notary witness authenticate them), and to please not be such a stranger.

two jobs

Thankfully, I am still working during the week at the graphics job for the photo studio. It's been a blessing to have a reason to get up every morning and get out of the house. I am also the main grocery and supply buyer at Casa WereMonster now, which takes some financial pressure off of MonsterMustDie. I'm not making enough to put money away for other things yet but I sleep much better and my dreams have improved. I'm also still working weekends at the retail gig which I refer to as “the dress shop”.
Working seven days a week does not leave me much time for social activities or other things but, since I have no social life here and probably never will, that isn't much of a loss and I feel more secure having two jobs now in case one disappears.

retail

Overheard from a customer  "...and I warned her about how I spend." from a guy wearing a wifebeater shirt who just spent at least an hour looking at watches.

The other highlight of the day was the man who took some shorts into the fitting room and found a can of chewing tobacco in the pocket.

Laid to rest

We finally buried Doris Kat's remains in the back yard. MonsterMustDie adorned the grave site with a marker he found in his treasure-hunting and a couple of ferns.

Choose: Love, Time, Money

I seem to have to make the choice between the three elements necessary for all human life: Time, Money (life), or Love (human relationships).
Obviously, I can't live without some income. I guess that is the choice I have to make now. At my age, I will not be making enough money again in my lifetime to choose to take my chances on the money part.
This month, I've taken a second part-time job. The new gig is freelance, so there is no payroll accounting for taxes and I'm sure I'll pay dearly for that. However, it does pay a whopping two dollars more an hour than what I'm currently making at the dress shop and I'm getting a lot more hours from them with the possibility of being brought on full-time in the future. The future might take place as soon as August... We'll see how it shakes out. Meanwhile, all of my week days are completely clogged with graphics when I'm not working retail and all of my weekends are full of retail. Trying to hold onto both branches until I see which one will not snap.
This also means I can't even travel overnight until my schedule becomes predictable and safe to ask for days off work. I want to go down to Georgia to visit old friends. I'd like to take a week or long weekend to got to Florida to further acquaint myself with others but I can't for now.
Meanwhile, the potentially full-time job has requested that I pull back and stay off social media as long as I'm associated with them. This means no input to Google maps, Facebook, Twitter, etc. although I continue to follow my friends and family feed on all channels. This makes me more of a ghost than I already am. I am hoping that I can still get away with blogging, which can be a bit more esoteric these days, so I am sharing this with you, dear friends. You can still find me here on in Mail and Text for now. My phone is still not functioning for sound unless I'm using a Bluetooth device. Please feel free to call me - I promise I will call you back as soon as I grab the Bluetooth device.
Meanwhile, stay tuned...

working two part-time jobs again

I am happy to report this week that a graphics company in the next city has brought me in for part-time freelance work - and that they are willing to work around my retail job's schedule for now. I'm hoping I can balance working both gigs as long as possible or until someone makes the commitment to hire me. Today, I work 8:00 a.m. to 9:45 p.m. with both jobs. Other days, I might only work four hours at the retail gig or not at all on either.
I will do the best I can.

Lunch at Dan River Family Restaurant

It's a small BBQ restaurant near Hanging Rock state park that we end up eating at every time we're at the park.

Troubled

MonsterMustDie seems to be missing more words than usual lately. I hope this is just because of fatigue at work and lack of quality sleep. It worries me because of the gorilla in the room - the fact that his mother and aunt died of alzheimer's disease. He never misses names and words, unlike me, so when he starts making mistakes or struggling to remember an actor's name it scares the hell out of me. I wish I could talk to him about it without upsetting him. I wish I could simply ask him to have a checkup and make sure everything is working right. There is also  the complication of the strokes he had years ago, which might mean this is just a temporary effect of that, brought about by stress and/or fatigue. We need to know what's going on. Otherwise, everything is fine. He was especially nice and attentive tonight. He even got off facebook long enough to sit on the couch and watch an old DVD with me.

Maybe I worry too much about these things.

Sleeping in trees

I went camping overnight with Karen at Hanging Rock state park in North Carolina.  We slept in hammocks enveloped in insect netting that Bob likes to call "bear pinatas". The net-covered hammocks worked well as a minimalist way to sleep outdoors. It was a reasonably warm night but much more windy than anticipated. I had a very soft camping blanket wrapped around me. I listened to the wind in the tree branches and felt it against the sides of my cocoon.
Woke up find that the coffee in my thermos was still warm. Karen was still sleeping while I sat in the camping chair with the blanket over my legs, drinking coffee and reading about Night of the Witches by Linda Raedisch.
We had lunch at the Dan River Family Restaurant.

if I won the Lotto

1. I would buy a house in our old neighborhood of Northcrest.
2. After buying the house in Northcrest, I would sell my condo in Midtown. 
3. I would buy a new car. 
4. I would update my computer, electronics and photo equipment. 
5. After acquiring these things, I would talk with a financial planner and figure out how to properly and conservatively invest the remains so that I could have a bit to live comfortably. 
6. Give 10 percent of what I live on to charities I believe in. 

Last week

Last week, I was lucky enough to go with MonsterMustDie on an overnight trip to Atlanta. We drove down Tuesday in a rented cargo van. The plan was for him to oversee final removal of everything his employer had remaining in Atlanta in a truck as well as transporting some items in the cargo van.

Good thing: We met up with six friends at Holy Taco in East Atlanta for dinner and conversation after we arrived in Atlanta. We ended up spending two days with no online access other than MonsterMustDie's cell phone  - which was actually a very nice emotional break.

Bad thing: It all started with the company credit card being denied at the hotel, which also did not provide free internet access to guests - that was $20 more. MonsterMustDie's entire business trip was a complete fail because no one on the other side had gotten proper confirmations or checked their emails. We got to the site the next day and his key did not work because the landlord had already changed the locks for a new tenant. The company was notified of this two weeks ago but did not respond or pass this on to MonsterMustDie.
Also, the landlord had not been properly notified that anyone would be there to recover what was left in the empty space and the company next door had some of its largest trucks parked in their lot, which had to be moved to leave a clear entrance to the warehouse and loading dock. He had to walk into their office and ask them to move their trucks out of the lot.
The drivers called to say there were no trucks ready for them. The trucks weren't there to pick up because no one had confirmed the reservation of them after filling out online forms.
The person responsible for all of the arrangements was in meetings and did not answer his phone or voicemail all day.
The landlord was also unreachable to get a key, anyway. MonsterMustDie started going down the chain of contacts and got the landlord's personal cell phone number and finally reached him. He had no idea anyone was supposed to be there.
 All of this was scheduled to happen at 8 a.m. We waited around until 1 p.m. before heading out for lunch and then on the road back to North Carolina.

lost today

Today is kinda a loss. Woke up feeling awful with what felt like a very bad headache, mild nausea, a huge sleep deficit, and the desire to spend most of the morning in the bathroom. By 12:30 in the afternoon, I'm already feeling better but just an hour ago, I could not convince myself to be up long enough to take a shower. I called into work and, quite fortunately, the manager on duty, Kimberly, was very reassuring of my decision to call in. This is the month when everyone's hours are cut drastically anyway at work and she assured me that I could easily one sick absence today and to please not come in if there was any chance I might have anything contagious.

Not that I think I have the flu, although some of my coworkers have recently. I think it was just the perfect storm today. MonsterMustDie was working in Atlanta this week and insisted on driving back late Wednesday night instead of staying overnight in there and coming home the next day. Thus, he got home just after midnight. I had to work at 4:45 a.m. on Thursday for store inventory and one excited cat roused me just enough to get up, have some water, and even though I was already in bed when he came into the house and did not acknowledge his presence I never could go back to a deep sleep before my alarm woke me at 3:30 a.m.

While having to be up and at work so early, I did not make coffee before running out the door. I had one cup (which I did not finish) from the keurig machine at work on break - they provided free coffee and muffins for those on inventory duty - and didn't have any more that day. I am currently on a four-cup-a-day habit at home.

After work, I was starving. MonsterMustDie was taking half a day off work to rest from the trip and both of us met Karen at a Chinese buffet in Greensboro. It seemed like a good idea at the time. The restaurant seemed clean and it was cheap and we filled up there. By the early evening, when I wanted to be in bed, I was still too wound up from the day so I had what was probably too much hot sake.

So extreme sleep deficit + greasy, large quantities of questionable food + hot sake + my existing winter cold = very ill morning.

Now, I've had a cup of coffee and am brewing a fresh pot. I also had a bowl of ramen soup (the last in the pantry). I think after two more cups of coffee and some solid food I'll be at least in good enough shape to do housework meander around. I plan for this to be a recovery weekend for the entire household.

Christmas and New Years

Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve this year were spent with Karen and Bob at their house in Greensboro, again with neighbors, friends, and family. Their living room this year displayed a new grand piano and an enormous Christmas tree. The tree was bigger than they imagined it would be when they bought it still bundled up tight. It opened up over the holidays as wide as it was tall but it was glorious.

The Christmas eve tradition at their house is Bob taking command of the kitchen and making fresh pizza. Everyone got half of a large pizza with the toppings of their choice. I brought marion berry pie and my own holiday traditional snacks of butterscotch haystack cookies and ruffles potatoe chips with French onion dip, just like my grandmother Crowe always served on Christmas eve (although she always made cake rather than pie).

Christmas day was just spent quietly at home with MonsterMustDie. We opened gifts and ate leftovers.

New Year's eve was a potluck followed by fireworks in the street at midnight. They had gone to South Carolina to buy the good stuff to bring back to welcome the New Year.

New Year's day, MonsterMustDie cooked blackeyed peas and kale, which we had with rice in front of the TV.