a little something I saw today

Sushi counter octopus

Wondering how I can kick this up a notch. 

My first impulse is to grill it but I worry that would only make it tough... or would it? 

Anyway, I don't yet have a grill set up here at Casa WereMonster. 

Can I put them under the broiler for a minute or add them into another sort of dish?  

Foggy afternoon

The fog rolled in a couple of hours ago and it has my neighborhood under a white blanket.

Tarima red wine

A gift from Tera.  It needed to breathe a bit after opening but I enjoyed it. BlackBerry notes. I can't identify much in the nose.

Christmas Eve at Casa WereMonster

We ended up staying in North Carolina for Christmas this year. We had been planning to visit my mother but bad weather (tornado warnings & violent storms) had her begging us not to come and, for better or worse, we chose the path of least resistance. There were no other standing invitations from family or friends this time around so it only made since to stay home and have a quiet holiday at Casa WereMonster. 

Vindication

After many phone calls and emails, MonsterMustDie finally had a long talk with someone at LunarPages. As it turns out, 1950.com and Weremonkey.com are paid for in full through 2017. Someone poached the websites through his old Comcast account and DirectNIC.com. We still don't have the websites back but they admit it was their error and the domains are still legally ours.

Where's Weremonkey?

A few years ago, I had every intention of using Weremonkey.com as a personal portfolio and blog site. Lunar pages made it difficult enough to use that I rarely looked at it or updated anything because every time I logged in, it meant an hour spent on the phone getting access to my site again. Following the fiasco with 1950.com, I tried to go into my long-neglected site and and couldn't get in. Then I just tried to see it online to view how out-of-date it might be and got an automatic page from TimeWarner cable saying there was no domain of that name. Then I got a pop up asking if I wanted to purchase weremonkey.com. *sigh*

I need to find an easier place to build a portfolio site.

very bad news about CasaWereMonster finance

I was planning to go to a MeetUp tonight but MonsterMustDie is having an apocalyptic day. So, he'll probably be drinking and I'll be monitoring him for irrational behavior.

He just lost his independent business and a $15000.00 sale to a website poacher, who might have snagged his domain illegally before the next ISP host payment on it was due. He's been involved in the possible sale of his little place on the internet, 1950.com, which he has been the proprietor of since the 1990s. There were several snags while dealing with the exchange of money and the domain with his ISP, LunarPages.com, that have caused the entire process of a couple of days to two+ weeks now. Looks like his account was sold by LunarPages to another host, much like banks sell accounts, I suppose. The account is due this week or next. He's not sure when because he did not get an alert about it. There was also trouble logging in because the new hosting company has his old, outdated email address and account information.

All this and he was planning to use any money from the sell of 1950.com on unavoidable expenses on the house - a new heater to replace the dinosaur downstairs, landscaping to replace or repair the desintegrating stone wall on the side of the house, etc.

Meanwhile, I am still out of work.

Things are looking up.

I'm watching "Monsters Inside Me" while drinking a citron honey tea  & gin hot toddy.

Mom was sounding much better when I spoke to her on the phone earlier today. Yay!  Her procedure yesterday was quite successful. They drained a lot of fluid away from her heart and her lungs are now starting to clear.

I went to an afternoon Toastmasters meeting today, where I met a few very nice people and promised I would be back soon to future meetings. I really need to work on my communications skills but everyone was very positive and encouraging. There was even a woman who was originally from Atlanta there.

Mother is still in the hospital

My mother is arguing about not getting her sleeping pills while she's in the hospital. She has generic Ambien and they gave her the name brand product. She insists she is not getting the proper medicine - because she refuses to believe the name brand is the same as the generic medicine. She is also demanding more pain medication. She can't have more pain meds than she is already getting because it would cause her heart to stop at this point.

These days, we never know if she will be coming home from the hospital. The time between hospital stays is becoming shorter with each crisis. 

Meanwhile, her personal assistant is being a very vigilant and loving care-giver. Being with Mom at the hospital, taking laundry to be done home, bringing clean clothes and cleaning her home. My sister-in-law was a bit concerned with the security involved with her having so much access to everything. I said, as long as she was not in charge of the checking account and credit cards, I had no concern whatsoever about this woman who is giving my mother the kind of care and attention she wants. It's really quite a God-send for now. Apparently one of the doctors took my sister-in-law aside to talk about how people too good to be true usually are. Since this is a woman who has a long history here with family who live in this area, it doesn't seem that she would want to burn anyone here. I told her that even if some things of value turned up missing in Mom's home, I was okay with that. The quality of care she is providing is worth more than anything sitting in a drawer somewhere in my mother's house.

Mother is back in the hospital

My sister-in-law phoned tonight to let me know that my mother is back in the hospital again. She's had fluid in her lungs for several days and they believe she has pneumonia now. Once again, she had too much trouble breathing and they brought her into the emergency room today. She is in CCU now with Adela, her care-giver, at her side. Some time late tonight, she will have her dialysis treatment at the hospital. I don't think they can do anything to clear the fluid from her lungs other than try to help her body do it. Hopefully, she will get some sleep tonight.

Thanksgiving 2015

Thanksgiving dinner at Casa WereMonster included rotisserie chicken from EarthFare grocery, roasted fingerling potatoes & brussels sprouts, fresh brussels sprouts salad ala Mario Batali, and fresh baked baguette with goat cheese and lingon berry preserves. Not bad for a simple meal.

Today, we went to see Crimson Peak at the $2 cinema. Quite a good movie, though I admit the dialog in the first few minute of the screenplay could have been better. Still, it is surprising that it is already in the second run theaters now. It's a deeply Poe-Gothic tale and visual eye candy.  After the movie, we tried out another Blue restaurant in High Point - Lulu and Blu. MonsterMustDie had the gnochi and I had the mushroom flatbread. I think he got the better dish. Although he said the gnochi was perfectly cooked, it had too many peas in it. The flatbread was wonderfully crisp and light but the topping went too far on the tart side. The flavor shitaki mushrooms and arrugula were completely overrun by very tart goat cheese and sun dried tomatoes. Made my mouth pucker with every bite.

Excelsior

I am in love with the look of this packing material. The color and texture appeal to me. Don't know what I can do with it but I like it.

Falling into Winter

People screaming about the war against Christmas are the thing that make me want to completely avoid the Holiday season.  All the fighting that breaks out this time of year makes the annual decent into winter hard. This winter will be as hard as last year, as I've had to drop everything I spent a ultra-slow year building to spend a month in Georgia and now I will be starting over again from the ground up, probably after the first of the year. That means another empty winter with no friends, even less money than last year with depleted savings, and no pleasurable activities. It means I am a year further away from the level of activity I once had. The house and yard still need a lot of work and money infused into them. We still have a retaining wall to replace, a fence to build, and stumps to remove in the yard. The house still only has one room that is actually finished. 

There is one improvement. A lot of cleaning and clearing has been done. There are not boxes everywhere - they've mostly been placed downstairs next to the decrepit furnace and that is the domain of MonsterMustDie. There is actually furniture to sit on and books to read upstairs now.

The electric dishwasher that came with the house died last night. This is not an appliance we must have, so I will be hand-washing more. I really liked it best for those very hard to clean tools like strainers, collendars, graters and washable items with many small connected parts. Those bits just won't be quite as clean as they used to be now. The Microwave oven died at the end of September, when the number keypad stopped working. We threw it out after a service person told me the board controlling it was now an unreplaceable part. It seems like such a waste, considering it spent nearly 10 years in a box from the time it was new to the time we finally started using it here in this house. One year of active use and it's dead. The dishwasher is very old and it was probably long past it's lifespan. The biggest concern we have is the furnace downstairs. We were advised that it was already long-past its expected lifespan when we bought the house. MonsterMustDie says he does not have the budget to replace it now so we just have to hope it will make it through this winter. We had hoped to replace the HV/AC system the first year here but that is no longer on the current schedule. We will replace it when it dies and not before. As smaller appliances are dying, we won't be replacing them this year. The only thing I can imagine that we would absolutely have to deal with the loss of immediately would be the Furnace/AC, the water heater, and the refridgerator. I think we can live withouth all the other modern conveniences easlily enough. 

Jules Perry shared a photo with you from the Flickr app! Check it out: https://www.flickr.com/gp/weremonkey/4pc65i

Tiny Lights

The holiday season lights started going up in High Point today. 

Test flight

Today, Mother got in. Her car and drove to Chick-fil-A to pick up dinner. She was able to leave her walker outside the drivers side of the car and get back to it when she returned. When she got back, while the car was out, I went up the steps into the storage space and found the light weight hospital walker and brought it down. She hasn't tried moving it in and out of the car yet but it is one more step for her getting by without me there. At the very least, she can go to drive-through services like banks, fast food, and the RiteAid pharmacy. 

Down from the ledge

After picking Mother up at dialysis, we had our post-clinic dinner at O' Charley's. She said their rolls are a favorite of hers and my uncle Ron. It's a basket of four soft yeast rolls slathered with butter and baked just until browned. The heavy meal didn't sit well in my stomach at first. I believe the slices of pumpkin pie we took home for breakfast later will be much better. 

As we drove in to her neighborhood, we met up with uncle Ron, who had come to check in on her. I had left a voicemail earlier when I was melting down. 

Now Mother is sitting on the couch crying again at the thought of me leaving. "Sis, you make a good nurse." 

She can't drive herself

I am here past my planned exit date now. I took mother to her dialysis treatment this morning. As we were getting into her car, I watched her try to put her walker into the back seat. She couldn't do it. She could not even begin to lift the walker to push it in. Then she started talking about how no one has time to help her. She brought a lot of this on herself by refusing to compromise her lifestyle and then telling everyone she could drive herself everywhere because Doctor Starnes said she could when he was only referring to her shoulder injury. After dropping her off at the medical center, I started descending into an anxiety attack. I tried to phone every family member I could. No one was available to talk. 

Once I pulled myself back together, I ran a few shopping errands and came back to clean the garage a bit more and put things away. Every time I start thinking about the pickle I'm in now, I start spiraling downward. 

Trapped is how I feel. Falling without a parachute. 

The crazy continues

Spent this afternoon driving Mother around so she could move bank accounts. More of this will go on Wednesday because the last bank we went to was already closed for the day by the time we got there. I get the impression she trying to do all of this without my brother's knowledge despite the fact that he is her financial adviser and has right of attorney on all of her accounts. 

Meanwhile, it looks like I will be trapped here until Friday at this point. I am starting to feel anxiety constantly now. My heart races. I tense up everywhere and I can't speak. I'm starting to feel like I did when I was a child and I can't get over this irrational fear that I'm never getting out of here. 

The undoing

When I woke up this morning, the dogs were in the carport eagerly peeing and pooping. I immediately let the dogs back in and cleaned up all but the urine on the abandoned stationary bicycle (I get to that after breakfast, during her therapist visit) and put down fresh pee pads everywhere. I said nothing. She said she had to let them go indoors because it's raining outside and she doesn't want wet dogs. "This is what I'll have to do when you're gone." She then calls to cancel an appointment with a woman named Luanne, who was going to discuss coming in to assist her around the house, telling her she won't need her now that mother has permission from Dr. Starnes to drive. She doesn't want to pay anyone who has to work in 4-hour blocks of time rather than as needed, either. 

It seems like she's already punishing me for trying to go home this week. Everything is punctuated with "when you're gone". This makes me want to leave sooner than later. It's like everything wrong here will be my fault when I leave. *sigh* 

Update: 

Cleaned the rest of the spots in the carport. Although I won't call it truly clean, it is a lot cleaner than it was before I got here. There is still filth all along the edge of the walls but I have cleaned and wiped down surfaces and covered what I could on the floor. I cleaned out the second refrigerator in the garage and threw out ancient opened wine that had become expensive vinegar and strangely bloated and bent aluminum cans. There are still several bottles of sparkling wine left to an uncertain future and one spot of solid crystallized puddle on one door shelf that I have not yet been able to entirely remove. 

A visit with the O'Briens

Sunday, when my mother has no appointments, is once again my only chanc to leave the house for a little while. Today's activity was driving to Roswell to visit Nicky & Sean to catch up for a while (mostly, me venting about my life at this moment) and picking up some succulent plants that were left over from the table decorations at their marriage ceremony a few weeks ago. Now, the little plants are in a box in the floor of my car and hopefully they will survive there until I can get them home. I am already thinking of different settings indoors for our new oxygen-producers. 

My mother, who no longer cooks but loves to watch QVC, bought a new food processor while I was out walking the dogs. I was surprised she didn't buy herself some of the Iman designer clothing they were selling before I took the dogs out, since she was going on about how nice the coats looked. She told me that I'll inherit the food processor when I gave a look to question the necessity of another appliance. I told her I already have a nice one at  home - what I need in the kitchen is a slow cooker and Dutch oven. She pulled out two small old fashioned crock pots from a cabinet in the garage and told me to take them home. At least that's some clutter I remove from what's out there. Our house is already far too full of stuff but I plan to make some big Goodwill donations of useful junk as soon as I get home. That will give me some small thing to do while I start the search for work and occupation from the beginning again. I had to drop or quit what little I had going on, that I've spent a year building, to be here helping her. 

Mother tells me that my brother's family returned from Italy this morning, according to my nephew. I hope to hear from my sister-in-law tomorrow or Tuesday, telling me that I am relieved of my service here. It is a pity that I'll have no Halloween, my favorite holiday, for the second year in a row. It is sad that I have now missed any opportunity to work seasonal jobs this year since everyone will have finished all of their holiday hiring in October. I am starting my second year in North Carolina in worse shape than I started last year. 

Early Saturday

Took mother in for an earlier-than-usual dialysis treatment today. Saturdays do occasionally start at different times than weekdays. My mother says that is the day when the techs sometimes like to have an early start and finish to their day, when doctors offices and other businesses are closed. Seems quite understandable to me. I am sure they like to have a larger block of personal time on the weekend. 

Doctor Starnes office

Mother had an appointment this morning with her orthopedic doc. They did an x-ray of her injured shoulder. 

He wants to see her again in 6 weeks. Dr. Starnes gave her permission to drive again and prescribed more physical therapy. 

Falls and pins

Last night I could hear my mother scolding her dogs with lines like "No Maggie! Bad girl!" Figuring the dogs had pooped in the bedroom again, I went back to sleep and ignored everything else coming from her room that night. Usually, I have to sleep with earplugs in. When I got up and came into the dining room this morning, she told me at one point during the night she had nearly fallen out of bed and was pinned on her bad arm. Fortunately she was eventually able to roll over and move off the edge of the bed. 

This evening after walking the dogs I came in she was on the floor in front of the clothes dryer, unable to get up. I could not lift her because she was dead weight. We had to phone my uncle Ron to help getting her up. Ron and I were able together to lift her onto a low stool and from there she was able to to be lifted up to her walker. After she was up, he stayed a few minutes to talk and visit until she felt better emotionally. He came up with the very good suggestion of getting the phone number of the nearest fire department so she could have that phone number ready next time we need help getting her up. 

Wednesday

Time for a rant.

I spent most of the day at the dining table, surfing Facebook repeatedly while Mother watched the news, game shows and daily TV like The Chew. Her first appointment with the occupational therapist canceled on her because the therapist has a child in the hospital. The second appointment of the day phoned to reset the time a bit later in the day.  Most of the day was spent waiting on different things. After Mother's therapy,  we went out for pedicures.  Then we had dinner before going home. 

Over dinner,  she brought up the inevitable subject of extending my stay with her. She said it was supposed to rain later in the week and it would be too dangerous for me to go home in bad weather.  She said there's no one to take care of her after I go home. I reminded  her that I already have plans to resume my life after the 27th and that the rest of the family would be back by then. I also mentioned that uncle Ron was on the mend and already driving again.

We went back to the house and fed the dogs, I phoned MonsterMustDie while I walked them. When I got back inside she was on the phone with Ron. She turns to me after the phone saying Ron told her I "posted" that I was leaving.  I  told her I only emailed the family yesterday to remind them when I needed to go home - on October 27 (and what she needs so they can plan accordingly ). My uncle seems to think I should stay with my mother indefinitely  (permanently).

Apparently my life means nothing to anyone but me.

Ongoing health problems

Advil hurts the kidneys.  Tylenol hurts the liver.  Mother is advised to avoid Advil. She is still trying to get an antibiotic prescription for a UTI she's had for weeks.  Her doctors aren't concerned about it, I suppose,  because she doesn't complain about constant pain - it only bothers her when she urinates.

Poop

The first thing I did this morning was clean dog poop off the floor of my mother's bedroom. After cleaning poop off the living room and sun room floor in the morning previously, I have been trying to convince my mother that the dogs should crated at night. She insists on having them in the bed with her at night. Yesterday she said she would close the bedroom door at night to keep the from jumping down and pooping in the house. Now, the dogs will pee or poop in her room rather than waiting for their morning walk. I can't force her to crate the dogs at night. There's nothing I can do here to change how she chooses to live. 

I feel like I am only enabling her at this point. I am counting the days until I can leave. Sunday, Sandy chuckled "You thought High Point was bad but now I'll bet you can't wait to go home." She is so right about that. Just when I think my life has reached an all time low, it got worse. I want out of here! 

Dogs

Sunday afternoon is my once a week chance to go into Atlanta from Kennesaw. It's the one day when there are no appointments for therapists, doctors, or medical procedures for my mother. This week I went down to East Atlanta Village to visit Sandy while she volunteered at Dogtober Fest, working at the charity raffle table. Charlie joined us at the end of the event and the three of us got to hang out together for a little while at the Flatiron bar before I had to head back to feed and walk dogs. 

Woke up this morning at 5:00 a.m. to a dog announcing two spots of poop in the living room. I cleaned the floor and took them out for a walk. Then I put them in their crate for the rest of the night.  Normally, they spend the night sleeping in bed with my mother until she wakes up in the morning. 

Well, now

Thankfully,  my brother phoned my mother last night to let her know the family is going to Italy.  I really was afraid they weren't going to tell her but,  at last, he did.
And now,  I expect that is  the last peep out of them until after their return.  I will absolutely not interrupt their vacation for anything. 

Tyranny of the Calender

I spent this morning listening to my mother cancel appoinments that she could easily make today just because she doesn't feel like going in. These are appoinments that are much easier to do with me driving her everywhere, taking her to the door, then parking the car by myself and picking her up at the door later. 

Then I walked the dogs and returned phone calls outside, where I could have a private, uninterrupted conversation.  

Now, she has filled Friday, the same day she knows MonsterMustDie is driving down from North Carolina to visit me, with appoinments all day. He will have to chase us down or kill time elsewhere until late in the day. 

Night Frights

So now,  my mother tells me that she can't stand for me to be out after dark.  She is afraid it is too dangerous for me to be out driving alone. 

So, here I sit.

Two more weeks of this to go and my sister-in-law still has not told her that their entire family is going to Italy on Friday.  Everyone will be gone for 10 days,  leaving me holding the bag.

Clothes Everywhere

She is concerned that she can't find hangers for all the things I washed and folded this week.

The fridge

Today's project was beginning to clean out the second refrigerator/freezer that my Mother has in her garage. Several things had burst open in it and the bottom has a pool of dark sugary goo that is taking lots of warm soapy water to dissolve enough to wipe out. I should have taken a photo of how full it was before I started. I am almost half way though it, trying to throw out as little as possible when everything should be tossed out. I found half gallon containers of juice expiration dated for 2011 that I poured down the drain. There was a burst wine bottle that looked like the cork had been shot out of if like a gun, which was probably the biggest part of the mess. There was an entire 6-pack of Sprite that was bulging with rounded tops about to pop.  

The amount of crazy hoarding here is frustrating. I am trying to tread lightly as possible while continuing to clean as much as I can. No one in my family knows what they are putting me through with this. She is sun downing every night and now she gets upset when I am out of her sight. If I make it through this month, I am never doing this again. 

Tired.So very tired.

Taking care of my mother, her house, and her dogs is a nonstop job.
I have run shopping errands, done a ton of laundry, assisted with shower and dressing, and walked both dogs several times today. I haven't had a shower myself since Monday morning. I also can't sleep well here baca use of the smell and heat.

My next task will be trying to clean the floors here. I don't set foot on the wooden floors without shoes on because they're so sticky.

Scarves

Just some of the scarves she has in mounds.  There are also drawers completely filled with slips or completely filled under pants, ect.

Toasty

My mother keeps her place warm and there isn't a window I can open in the bedroom.  I'm just laying on the bed sweating and listening to her TV in the den. Not gonna have much sleep here.

Jam Packed Here

Mother has more than a few pairs of shoes.  She has a gazillion of everything.

post weekend

We are back in North Carolina after another whirlwind trip to Atlanta. We stayed with friends in the old neighborhood again while we visited my mother and attended the wedding of friends.

Mother seems to be doing much better physically. She got two units of blood on Thursday and another two units on Friday. She also had her dialysis treatments in the hospital without any worries about transportation. By Sunday, her doctor had given her a lighter sling to keep her arm in rather than the tight, stiff one that held her arm so close to her  body.  She wants to go home. She is terrified of going back to the rehab center. She does not want to be in the hospital. She is having evening anxiety attacks every day now, which sounds like something I've heard described as "sundowning" in the past. She feels abandoned and under informed by her doctors.

All this, and my brother and sister-in-law have not yet told her about their trip to Italy. I told them she needs to know before they leave on the trip because I do not want to be the one who breaks the news to her and she needs to know that I'm planning to take care of her while they're out of the country. I got a voice mail from my uncle Ron while I was in the shower this morning. He sounded tired and concerned. The message is just "Give me a call back. I need to talk with you about your mother. I don't understand what's going on." He has knee surgery scheduled in the morning and I know she is very worried about it. I've left a voice mail reply. Then I phoned my sister-in-law. I haven't heard back from either of them yet.

In other news -

Nicky and Sean's wedding vow ceremony was beautiful, sweet, and funny. It was a huge collaboration of friends putting the event together in a very personal and creative way. Her family were able to be there and they are just as funny and sweet as she is. With the exception of the wedding party, the couple have cut out drinking and any other unhealthy habits and are actively trying to conceive their first child. I will look forward to future announcements/progress reports on that family project.

More Family Crisis

Got a call from my mother a little while ago. She is going back into the hospital today.  My uncle Ron was with her as she spoke to me.  He drove her to Kennestone hospital after her blood platelet count dropped dangerously low this morning.  She was not in a room yet when she phoned but promised me that she or Ron would let me know what room she's in. We're planning to visit her on Saturday before going to Nicky and Sean's wedding in the afternoon.

I phoned my sister-in-law to discuss whatever she knew about the situation. She said Joyce, Ron's wife had phoned her to let her know they were headed to the hospital earlier. She was planning to go there as soon as she was finished at work.

Serrano Chiles

Wondering what I should do with so many Chile peppers now. This mini harvest will probably not last long and I don't want to waste any of them.

High Point motto

You can't get there from here.

The End Of The World again... part 1

My life is once again on hold. Possibly over as I know it again, this time due to family situations.

It started last Thursday with a text from my sister-in-law: 

"Hi Jules. (my brother, my neice & her husband) and I are going to Itally Oct 16-26th. (My uncle) is having his knee operated on sometime in October. Your Mom does not know we are going so please don't tell her. She always gets sic when we go somewhere. With that said, can you come down and take you Mom to her doctor appointments and dialysis? I will need your help. Taking care of your Mom is wearing on me. I would appreciate it so much. "
"(My neice) said you can stay at her house...  in Brookhaven. You'll like it."

First, if I stayed at my niece's house that would imply I would have to vacate it immediately upon their return that night, making the 5 to 6-hour drive back by myself, exhausted. This is the only accomodation being offered. Fortunately, I asked my friends B&G in Buckhead if I could stay at their place a couple of weeks in October and they said I was welcome to, so that problem was immediately solved.

Me: "Phone me ASAP so we can discuss details."

Sister-In-Law:

"At concert with (niece). Call 2 morrow. " 

No phone call came the next day. I tried calling her with no answer. Then I got another text at 8:30 pm :

"Ok. (Uncle's) surgery for his knee is October 6th. Your Mom has to wear her sling 3 more weeks. Not sure if that means she has to stay in rehab or if she can go home. She is working on using her cane."

This means I would need to be in Georgia, taking care of my mother from October 6 through the end of the 26th at the earliest. I think I might as well stay through the end of the month and at least get to be around friends at Halloween, since now I will have no time to make Halloween plans for the house or other activities that I had wanted to plan (like a meet-the-neighbors pumpkin carving party).

Meanwhile, I have already turned down two possible temp jobs because I will be out of town. October is also the only time High Point NC is actually alive - during the autumn market week - so I can't look for any gigs during Market. I will not be able to free-lance without my computer, a fast WiFi connection, and all of my stuff (books, reference material, photo equipment, art supplies?) That also brings up the question of who is paying for this? No one expects to pay me anything for this. They just figure that because I have no full-time job, I have all the time in the world and no financial worries because MonsterMustDie is some sort of sugardaddy (He absolutely is not!). And yet, it is a task I can't say no to because there is absolutely no one who will be available or who wants to help my mother. I am not sure I can take care of her by myself.



... help ...

Labor Day Weekend

For Labor Day weekend, MonsterMustDie and I drove down to Georgia in his car to visit my mother. We were there just two days. We got into Atlanta on Friday and left very early Sunday morning because he wanted to have a day of relaxation before returning to work on Tuesday. As a result, it was the usual whirlwind tour, staying with friends in the old neighborhood. We did stop into IKEA on the way home for new white shelves to replace the white shelves we already have in the mud room. The logic of all this escapes me but it's his house, his money.

We were able to have dinner with Chaz and Sandra on Friday night when we got in and, of course, we enjoyed the Company of Mr. Bunny and C. while we stayed in their beautiful mid-century modern home. Saturday was spent with my mother, visiting her at the rehab she is having to live at while recovering from a broken arm. The visit went a lot better than I thought it would. She was thrilled to see us. We took her to and from her dialysis treatment that day as well, giving my brother and his wife a break so they could have some fun on saturday (probably attending a game or some other sports event). It was easy for the two of us to move her and get her to treatment on time but I can see how it would be difficult for just one small person like myself to do it. She was on her best behavior the entire day. The people working on her at the dialysis center were kind, smart, and patient. The rehab facility seemed to be a bit chaotic. She would love to get a shampoo and shower. The most she can do is a sponge bath every other day. There is no working shower or bath in her room. Showers are really out of the question now because she has the port in her chest again for dialysis because the broken arm is the same one that had the device implanted in it. The port must stay absolutely dry because of the high risk of infection.

Every other free moment was spent antique shopping by MonsterMustDie, who said he needed to shop every time we leave home to try to make the trip pay for itself.

dark wedding

Last night, I dreamed I was working for Ozzy & Sharon Ozborn and their family as some sort of personal assistant. I also occasionally worked as an extra guitarist and photographer. They were encouraging me to put a body of work together for an art show. I did a bit of everything for the family. Ozzy gave me a big black smart car that I could drive or just say "Ok Google" to take me to anywhere I needed to be. Their youngest child (or maybe a guitarist child) was getting married and I was working on arrangements for that and guests, etc. There was a charmingly strange teenage girl who I was sometimes in charge of who would tell odd family stories, like how her parents would hide her when they were touring because they were afraid she'd be kidnapped.

Lots of black things, coffee, cake, and smoked salmon. I also had a big closet with lots of leather and silks and other rock & roll clothing, out of which I was trying to put together an outfit for the event.

Notes to self over dinner

Must watch all episodes of Rick & Morty.
Must watch Mr. Robot.
Geek and Sundry
Push Bullet

self portrait with Ellie Cat

Herbicide treatment

The neighbors across the street had their mutual driveway sprayed with herbicide. 

 

I can smell it across the street, inside my house. 

Family Drama

Most of this week has been a series of phone calls to my sister-in-law and my mother. They are trying to coordinate her care and it has become apparent, as my mother's home is again so filthy that it is uninhabitable, she really needs more help physically with the day-to-day tasks like cleaning, laundry, cooking and - yes - driving. The two west highland terriers that my mother has need to be rehomed, preferably together. Part of the reason the house is in such a horrible state is because she can not walk them and they are no longer (if they ever were previously) house broken. Every bit of rug is urine stained again and the garage floor is covered in old newspaper and feces. The dogs have to go.

My sister-in-law has done the necessary research to find a Westie rescue group who can take them. Hopefully, the dogs can go to a much better place together - a place with a yard and/or with humans who can take them for walks and keep them groomed.

Meanwhile, my mother has phoned asking me to come to Kennesaw, Georgia, obviously leaving everything and MonsterMustDie behind to take care of her dogs for the remainder of the month she is in rehab and beyond. A house far away from anything and anyone that now would be even more isolated than here in High Point where I at least have internet service and working computers and WiFi. I have been thinking of how I could help her in a realistic method. The best I can come up with is to come down to her place, spend a couple of days at a time cleaning while staying somewhere else like a friend's place an hour away, and taking the dogs back to North Carolina with me. We have a house cat and no fence and the dogs are not house broken, so they would have to stay on leads in the back yard during the day and I could crate them in kennels at night. That might work out for them for a while. Maybe I could eventually housebreak them. Maybe we could eventually get some sort of pen or fence for the dogs to hang out in. My mother actually wants me to live with her in a sort of Grey Gardens scenario. Not going to happen. There is no way to make it work.

I phoned my sister-in-law to tell her about this. As it turns out, the idea to have me live with my mother came from my sister-in-law. I said she probably should have have thought that one through before she spoke.

Later, she phoned me back to say my brother finally spoke with my mother. That is a huge step for him. He really does not speak to anyone in the family and, according to his wife, has nearly as hard a time dealing with our mother as I do. He told her I could not move down to live in her house and the dogs needed to be rehomed. "You're probably out of the Will now, but we'll take care of you."

I phoned my mother last night to talk with her, dreading the conversation I was expecting.  Oddly enough, there was no mention of the dogs. She only talked about how awful the rehab facility was. Then she ended the conversation with "Take care of yourself." and hung up on me.
That went better than I thought it would.


UPDATE:
My uncle has now phoned my sister-in-law to say that the dogs must stay living with my mother. He is on board with her in the idea that I should be living alone with her in her flat to take care of the dogs indefinitely.  This can not happen but both of them will not accept that. This will be an interesting Labor Day weekend coming up. Now, she is keeping the dogs and the younger family members are expected to take care of her and the dogs at home.

Yesterday's Parties

I woke up thinking about my long suffering grandmother, Elizabeth Crowe, today. She taught me what basic domestic things and manners I know. She also often told me family stories that gave me insight into some of the culture of my clan. One time, sitting at her dining table at lunch, she said "You might be surprised (and I was) but we (she and my grandfather, Horace Crowe) used to have fun. We would have dance parties at the house. There was a juke box where he worked and he would borrow it for the night and bring it to the house. We took the rugs out of the living room and moved the furniture out for a dance floor." 
There are no records of these fun events in photos or other written descriptions that I know of but it makes me happy to picture my grandparents having fun with friends at home while children were in their rooms, hopefully sleeping but probably spying on adults sometimes too.

Elder Abuse By Corporate America

We need to visit my mother, who is in rehab with a broken arm for the next 20 days. My sister-in-law tried to choose the facility she is in very carefully but what they said and what they actually do are two different things.

I think litigation is already in order for the rehab center she's in. The main reason they chose the facility is because they were informed that the center would absolutely take her to all of her dialysis treatments and nearby doctor appointments. As soon as contracts were signed - the next day when she was in there - they informed the family that they will no longer offer those services. Sounds like the typical scam on the elderly patients, where they assume people will die before they can complain or take the company to task for a broken contract.

Now, my uncle, who is just a few years younger than my mother, is the only one who can take her to dialysis treatments. She is hoping her doctors can make visits to the rehab center.  My cousin tells me the place is unsanitary and ugly. They were supposed to have complete laundry services for all patients but my sister-in-law has to do all of my mother's laundry now. On top of all that, when I spoke with my mother last night, she tearfully told me that she has not had a bath or shower all week. - not even a bed bath.

In Training For The Week Ahead

Every day, I set my alarm and try to be out of bed by 4:00 a.m. so that I can hopefully just jump out of bed, into my clothes, and out the door to make it to a minimum wage paying 5-day temp job that starts tomorrow. Every night I've been in bed by 8:00 p.m. but that appears to be just a bit too late because mornings are still almost impossible so I am moving bedtime down to 7:00 p.m. tonight.

Yesterday, I got an email regarding a retail job, that would be long term and a lot more desirable conditions (in a nice, air conditioned department store). They were inviting me to come in for an interview. When I responded back, there were three available times to come in for an interview - all of them are on the same day I start the job at the golf course that I wish I didn't have to take. That was the only day available to come in. Just my luck.

My mother is still in the hospital. I've been calling an leaving messages. Usually, if something is truly serious, I hear from my oldest Uncle, her younger brother, about how she is. Yesterday, she phoned me to say she was still in the hospital, not going home yet. She is on a lot of pain medication and not talking very clearly, so I was struggling to understand what she was saying. Something went wrong or a mistake was made and either her arm is broken or something inside her arm is broken. She said my sister-in-law freaked out yesterday when she was telling her about hallucinations she was having on the pain meds. If that is true, I don't think she will be going back home. I am waiting to hear more today about what is actually going on in Georgia. I ended up leaving a voice-mail for my uncle, asking him to phone me. I didn't get a call back from him or my sister-in-law yesterday. I will try to find out more today.

Once I start this 5-day job, I will be out of reach. The days are predicted to be long - at least 10 hours  - and cell phones are not allowed.

doing the best I can

It seems like this week if filled with anger at every experience job hunting. One person kept me on the phone for several angst-filled calls asking if I was willing to relocate and if I could be immediately available for a job and how far would I commute, etc. before finally telling me the position was only a 5-month hourly (part time) temporary job located over 2-hours (map quest) away. She knew I was in High Point, looking for full-time work. She asked me all kinds of anxiety-producing questions before giving me any information on a job that I clearly was not in the market for.

Neither of the two interviews from last week have gotten back to me and I am trying to follow up with them. Experience tells me that If I did not hear back from them in a couple of days, they chose someone else. Either one would have been a good job to have.

Yesterday, I went to an orientation for the only job available near me. It is a minimum wage gig catering for a golf tournament. 10-hour days (maybe longer), outdoors in a tent, starting at 5:00 a.m. on Wednesday and running through Sunday.


Meanwhile, my mother is in the hospital again this week undergoing various procedures on her heart and kidneys. She does not know what day she will be released to go home. I would drive down to see her if I could be certain she would still be in the hospital when I got there. Once she's home, I don't know if she'd be willing to let me visit. When she's home, she doesn't want anyone to see her place and she mostly sleeps, not answering the door. I don't have a key to her place so there is really no point in trying to make the trip without advanced planning.

waiting for next week

Mother had a heart catheterization done today. My uncle sent a message saying there is, of course, some damage to a heart valve from the Fen-Phen she insisted on taking years ago and, with her genetics, she has a 90 percent blocked artery. I spoke to her this afternoon after the procedure and she sounded like she was in fairly good spirits. She had not yet talked with her doctor - that will happen tomorrow - about what they found and what she would choose to do or not to do about it.

I am still constantly looking for work here. I have a temp gig (minimum wage) for a catering company next week. Orientation is tomorrow in Greensboro. I am wonder if we should plan a trip to Atlanta again this weekend to visit my mother. If she is still in the hospital by then, it would be easy to visit her. If she is home  already, I can't count on being able to see her if I come down. After a 6-hour drive, it is really too long of a trip to make to be unable to to see her and after  two previous failed visits in the last year, I don't want to make that investment for nothing. Next weekend, if all goes well for me, I will be working long days and traveling will not be an option. I can't do anything in Atlanta on short notice.

Meanwhile, in anticipation of a weeks' work and without any money other than the plastic kind, I spent $49.00 on a haircut today so I could submit a photo for my security pass.

family. parties. food.

The surprise birthday party for my mother went quite well. She was completely surprised and burst into tears several times. My niece arranged the entire gathering, including finding an affordable guest apartment for me and MonsterMustDie to stay in. Reservations were made for the group at one of her favorite restaurants that was near her home. I pointed out a couple of facebook links to a couple of close friends to invite. I regret my youngest uncle was not there with his family but someone else decide not to invite them because 1. they probably could not afford the dinner and 2. he probably would not have time to come anyway. I know he probably would not have been there but it seems like the gesture of inviting him and his family would have been the right thing to do. Still, seems like they did not mind, being in different worlds now.

After the birthday dinner, we went to the annual Tequila and Porn party at B&G's home nearby. Great to see so many people that I haven't seen since we moved away from Atlanta. Made me really homesick.

We finally made it to the old neighborhood to return and distribute several things we should have delivered months ago.


We also were able to make it to the Peachtree Road Farmers Market and to Buford Highway Farmers Market to buy things we just can't find local equivalents to yet in North Carolina, like meats from the Spotted Trotter and Pine Street, Red Rock Gingerale, and Ginga Kogen beer. I wish we had bought some of the beautiful mushrooms we saw at the Peachtree market but, without immediate plans to cook them, some of those beautiful fungi would have gone to waste.



This week has been spent cooking some of last weeks bounty.

Looking forward to this weekend

The swelling in my leg has finally gone down so I look much less like the elephant man now. My skin is remaining clear for now too. This is good news, since we'll be traveling to Atlanta this weekend. We'll be in MonsterMustDie's car, so I won't have the freedom of movement to choose what to do with the earlier part of the day unless someone else volunteers to drive me around - my choices will probably be riding with the old Dutch man as he goes antique shopping at all of his old haunts. That, or I could just stay at the Buckhead apartment that my niece arranged for us to rent for a couple of nights. Some time late Friday or early Sunday, I hope we'll be able to work in some visits with friends. 

We'll be in Kennesaw on Saturday, celebrating my mother's birthday in a surprise dinner party at one of her favorite restaurants. We are hoping her health and spirits are good on Saturday. She stays in a very delicate state most of the time now and how she will feel from one day to the next is unpredictable. 

Sunday, we'll be heading back early, after brunch and some shopping at the farmers market for things I can not find where we live now. There are a lot of little delicacies I want to stock up on. There is now NC equivalent to Red Rock Gingerale and no markets sell sprouted wheatgrass or fresh carrot juice. Not even Whole Paycheck. If I can find dry ice to keep things frozen, it would be great to make it to one of the weekend farmers markets for Spotted Trotter meats or some hard-to-find organic produce. I believe we'll have a freezer at the apartment so I should have the option of shopping for things that need refridgeration without fear, as long as things are well-iced and the drive is straight up without stops at more antique shops. Really, just this one time, please let me have a good trip. He's welcome to make all the stops he wants to on the trip down. Friday can be all his if I can just have the Saturday morning market and Sunday's return trip with goodies.  

WTF is my body doing?

Weird body issues tonight. Two weeks ago, I had a rash that spread to several place that I assumed was poison ivy. Only going through a prescription of prednisone last cleared it up and I still have to be careful not to scratch those spots. Tonight, my left ankle is really swollen for no reason and my skin feels dry and papery. At least there is no pain in my legs and ankles but it is strange and disturbing. I suppose I might go to an urgent care clinic in the morning, if it is still as swollen, just to try to have a medical professional look at me. My back hurts but it's just the same discomfort I've had for months now, since I pulled a muscle while stripping wall paper from the kitchen.

In better news, we now have a new fan in the main room that works well. MonsterMustDie installed it on Thursday night.

Underneath that, we have a rug composed of grey Flor tiles that makes the room look more complete.

Moody Blues

Yesterday,  I was unspeakably sad. All I did was look for work online and sleep.  I could not pull myself out of the hopeless I feel now.

Today,  let's combine that with anger at every door slammed shut in front of me. I can't even find minimum wage work. 

And there is no other path to try.

Fanimation ceiling fans

My advice - Don't use any ceiling fans manufactured by Fanimation. They look great but are not designed to function in the real world.  The light has no venting and becomes intensely  hot (kinda counter productive for a device meant to cool a room ).
Our electrician said we were lucky it did not start a fire. 

The fan stopped running within weeks of being installed.  Then the light would not respond to the remote control.  The heat from the light had warped the housing,  making it impossible for the fan to run and ultimately frying the light.  Although the fan and light are designed to work separately, we would have needed to run the fan at high speed constantly just to keep the light cool.
MonsterMustDie put together a professional quality box to ship it back to the manufacturer today so we can get a refund or exchange for a different model.

Urgh! 

Politics

Eavesdropping on conversations at lunch,  I hear one older woman say she's  probably voting for Hillary... unless Trump is running... in which case she'll vote for Trump.  The table agrees that Bush will probably be the Republican candidate. They seemed to like Jeb Bush, not because he was a good candidate, but because he was so funny to them. 

giving up this weekend

I had plans to go to the Triad Geeks gathering this evening in Kernersville, NC.

Both John and my next door neighbor have been discouraging me from going by myself to spend an entire evening with people I have not met face-to-face yet, possibly driving home late on a holiday night, possibly in the rain.

I also have a bad skin rash that I have been dealing with all week that only seems to be spreading despite my efforts to keep everything covered and taking Benadryl.

Meanwhile, I woke up this morning is a fit of existential angst, knowing if anything happened to me or my car, I would not be able to fix either. There is no work lined up in the future. Not a thing.
So, maybe I should not be spending any time outside around green things, dirt, insects, and unfamiliar beasties until I have all of this small health issure cleared up. I cancelled my plans for today and tonight and am planning to go into the local Urgent Care clinic on Monday.

Another Interview

Sitting in the office of a staffing company.  I have a digital portfolio on a thumb drive. I don't bother carrying my old portfolio book most of the time unless someone requests it. Nearly all companies only want to know what software and systems I am familiar with and an online portfolio slide show or Acrobat file is sufficient. 

I am waiting for my interview when another person, obviously seeking the same job, walks in. She is a foot taller than I am, long blonde hair, in a new dress and high heels and a recent graduate. She has a large bound book with her in a plastic case. It looks like 16 x 20, with huge black letters on the front that say "Thanks for looking!" 

I realize I don't have a chance, even on my perkiest days, to compete with that. 

*sigh*

(Otherwise, my interview went quite well it before it was her turn, so at least I can still moderately impress people with what I can do.)

This might have been a big mistake... but what could I do?

My household relocated from Atlanta, Georgia in November 2015. I took one for the team and dropped out of my life - I was already underemployed but busy enough to fill in gaps in the budget - so MonsterMustDie could keep his job when his employer closed their Atlanta showroom and warehouse to consolidate things in High Point, North Carolina, where they opened their first production site in the USA.

Previously I worked as an art director and graphic designer in print, publishing, and advertising; also worked in numerous roles in the film industry as a graphic designer, background extra, production assistant, and makeup artist. Now, I am trying to find a place for myself where all my experience and professional relationships don't matter. The main industry is either banking and manufacturing or education.

High Point is a ghost town; a WASP retirement community wrapped around an Ivy-League university. I am too old to be attractive in the service industry and too young, bored, poor to retire. I told myself I would give this at least a year before any more changes were made in my life. I am thinking this move was not what I should have done. I think I should have found a cheap room with friends or family, making just enough in the film industry, until I could go back to living in the city. I long for my friends and all the great cultural events and activities I was part of. This place has been a series of doors slammed shut. 

yard thoughts

Modern. Native. Edible. Functional. Social.


We live in an older, traditional neighborhood so I know the front yard needs to have to traditional green turf and neat landscape. We are trying to keep a clear view outside the windows with low-growing shrubs and plants like heather and dwarf conifers. We'd like to add a few more large rocks to those arrangements.

I cut out and pulled up a ton of English ivy off the trees, fence and house, where it once festooned every tall tree. We removed the tacky plastic non-functional shutters from all of the windows. A few of the windows need to be replaced due to cracked glass. We plan to build or install as large a shed as we can in back to become a mini-workshop and tool storage building. John wants to have a compact woodshop with a small outside deck that he can work at. We also need the space to store large things like ladders. We still desperately need house numbers either mounted on brick or posted in the front yard and on the mailbox.

We would like to use mostly native plants and edible landscaping for the back yard, which has a wood fence that we plan to replace. We also have a laid stone retaining wall on one side at the back of our lot that needs to be repaired, preferrably using all the original stones so that we don't have to purchase too many more. I think 2/3 of the wall could be original stone - maybe more. We had crepe myrtle trees that had been attacked by ambrosia beetles that have been cut down along the rock wall side of the house that now have stumps that need to finally be removed/ground down. My guess is that some sort of new plants and shrubs need to go along the rock wall to help with erosion control.

NO English Ivy! I am still removing it everywhere I can, mostly concentrating on taking it off the trees. My neighbor shares my hatred of overgrown English ivy. She's working at ridding her yard of it as well. I am also taking it upon myself to pull out poison ivy where I see it. Slowly, the old roots of the poison ivy are going away and I cut down any flowers/seeds from the poison ivy when I spot it trying to reproduce, whittling way at it as best I can. I am a one-woman ivy-killing warrior. I'm not agains all vines - just those troublesome invasive or poisonous plants. Grapes are cool. Muscadines are cool. Grapes would be great. I even turn an occasional blind eye to Virginia creeper if it's not in my way.

The inside of the back yard is mostly mud, mulch and shade. We have new plantings of edible and/or native plants like elderberry, chokeberry, blueberry, trillium, ferns, golden seal, jack-in-the-pulpit and I'd like to add more variety so that I could have year-round blooms for bees and birds (and humans). I have a dinky herb garden that I am still figuring out.  We are also planning to place a small fire pit/grill and seating area to the side of the future shed.

And the drive way needs to be repaved - preferably with some sort of simple roof added at the top for the cars. The car shelter is not a priority but it is something that would make life a lot nicer.

extortion?

Oh, North Carolina, why don't you love us? Should we have been prettier, richer, funnier, younger?
I got a phone call this afternoon from someone at a business named R3Z Solutions, who was calling to offer one-on-one classes for deactivated Uber Drivers at $100 a class. I told him I had no interest in his company's services unless Uber was willing to pay for it. Good riddance.


Speaking of scams, I was also walking around with our next-door neighbor yesterday evening and looking up in amazement at the horrible job someone did on her roof. She hired someone who actually was recommended by an associate and came home to a roof full of holes made by nails far too long to use in roofing. The nails on the shingles went all the way through the plywood and moisture barrier under the shingles and came out the other side about a quarter inch. The roofer insisted that this was just the way it was always done and then tried to reprimand her, saying he didn't expect her to be "so difficult". I think women get taken advantage of by contractors a lot. Everyone does get the bad end of a deal with builders now and then but, just like mechanics, everyone assumes if your female, you're an idiot. *sigh* It makes me sad looking at her roof.


MonsterMustDie just found out his employer is hiring a new supervisor for the department that he is in charge of. In other words, he is being demoted or replaced by a guy in a suit. He says he is not worried about it but I do not trust any employer that much. So, on that note, I really believe we need to be dedicating every weekend solely to finishing this house that he has taken apart, just in case we need to unload this financial burden and relocate again soon.

A New Low

Looks like Uber has fired me.

I did not get any calls this week. Uber just a text explaining that since my ratings fell below 4.3 out of a possible 5, I have been dropped.  There is no reason given for the rating. There is no phone number to all or any source for feedback or debate. So, one more possible source of income gone but, on the plus side, no more college students to take to four at a time to multiple locations that they don't input on the client app all around the Triad area.

I must resign myself to being a stay-at-home housewife here.

Not feeling the love this week

So far, this has not been a good week at all.

I've had only one job interview this week on Tuesday, at another temp staffing agency, for a creative position that would actually be close to home. I showed up for the interview, on a very hot day, in office casual attire - dark slacks and a long gray boyfriend-style shirt. The job is budgeted for $10 to $12 an hour, depending on how good a fit the employee is. The interviewer advised me, if I wanted to work in this area, to dress differently and to change my hair style to something natural. I have no idea how I am supposed to look here. I can guess that my hair should be shorter and a light natural brunette or ash brown - easy enough to do. Not sure how to dress, especially with no budget for new suits.  I told the interviewer I could look any way they wanted me to for the client interview. This interview was just with the staffing agency and I would still have to meet with the client later.

The staffing company phoned me today and, as it turns out, I didn't get the job because I have no experience in QuickBooks, an application I have never been asked to use before. It seems like I can't win here. I probably will go ahead and change my hairstyle for a more conservative area anyway just to see if that improves my chances. I can not see myself wearing high heels or skirts so that is not going to happen. If I could find an affordable lightweight linen or cotton weave suit, that would be good too. It's hard to invest hundreds of dollars in new clothes that might not get me anything in return.

As for office software, I have a copy of MS Office 2011 but anything outside of those apps (Word, Excel, PowerPoint) is something I don't know outside of graphics work. Most of what I use is in Adobe CS (Illustrator, Photoshop, InDesign, DreamWeaver).  So, it looks like the only work I can get here is driving for Uber. The summer will suck because most of the Uber business is High Point University students. This is the last week of the semester and graduation ceremonies are this Saturday, so there will be a long dry spell in student business after that.

Lastly, I was looking forward to driving down to Atlanta for Mother's Day, hoping to finally visit a few friends as well this week. I spoke to my mother this morning about her plans this weekend. I am trying to schedule a day to go out to eat or just visit her. She doesn't want anyone to see her home these days because she is not physically able to maintain it. She said she is having dinner at my brother's house on Sunday, which is good, but that excludes time with me on Sunday. Many of my friends are going to a big wedding this weekend that I am not invited to, probably because of hard feelings with MonsterMustDie and the groom over facebook sociopolitical rants on both sides. The rest of my friends are mostly going out of town to visit family or tied up with their own families.

Next week, MonsterMustDie will be working in NYC and I will be here alone with no work. I really hope something good pops up between now and then.

Sunday Morning

MonsterMustDie finally made a good treasure find yesterday while we were out shopping in Greensboro. He found a George Nelson serving cart someone had just brought in. It needs a little restoration but he already knows someone he'd like to do the finishing work for him.

After that success, we swung by WholeFoods and picked up a few things to take with us when we had dinner with new friends at their house. Beautiful home, friendly pets, and brilliant children. I really like this couple and I hope we spend more time together.


It rained all day on Saturday, a cold mist, while we were out. It is forecast to be a bit on the cool side today. MonsterMustDie is now back to some of the interior projects in our house today, painting and changing fixtures in the mud room and main bathroom. I can hear him cursing from the other end of the house as I write this.
Ah, the sound of progress...

Spring Market Week

This is my first experience living in High Point during the Market. A lot of the empty, locked up store fronts, restaurants, etc. suddenly become alive. Most of them sport some sort of temporary signage - usually a giant banner or a portable sign of some sort - and are open for business. It amazes me that High Point thinks it is perfectly acceptable to exist only two weeks out of the entire year but this is exactly the case here. Showrooms are re-filled and become active all over downtown High Point, only to close down all of the storefront buildings immediately after the Market closes, staying empty and deserted until the next High Point Market.

For lack of anything else to do to make money here, I became an Uber drive last week. I only get 3 or four trips a day at best - yesterday, I had two side-by-side for people going out to eat - and I believe I will not see any more of the Uber ride business after this week. Today is the last official day of the High Point Market. My big paycheck for Market Week is $37.09, most of it going to gas.

This city and state are not working out for me. I will hang in here a while longer, now that I have gone through the work of moving all of my legal registrations here (taxes, car registration and drivers license, insurance, etc.) but I am miserable, broke, friendless and lacking even in the ability to have a space of my own at home to do things freely. I hate my fucking so-called life now.

Still the same

Today's positive notes: 

1. Everyone got home safe and sound in Connecticut after their 10-hour drive home on Monday. 

2. I went to a very enjoyable meeting this evening at The Forge in Greensboro for the Art + Tech group. The discussion this week was about "projection bombing" projector street art. Most of the tech and 3D rendering aspects of the discussion are far over my head but I still found the meetup very encouraging and inspirational. Good group of people, these creative geeks. 

Mother's surgical procedure went well but my uncle sent me photos of her under anesthesia in the hospital with the words "You should be here." No one would expect that of my brother or sister-in-law, who live only half an hour from her. I know she wants me to come back to Georgia and live with her in the retirement community flat. I know I can not do that. 

I had a job interview on Monday for a possible position at a signage company that also does fabrication. I was more-or-less told that I could expect a call back on Tuesday morning if they decide to bring me in. It's late Wednesday night now and I never heard back from them. I sent out "available for work" messages to temp agencies and have only heard back from one this week, just a phone call to touch base and let me know I am not forgotten. 

MonsterMustDie is woebegone over his taxes and dwindling finances but there is nothing I can do about that either, since I have no work coming in. 

Easter weekend

We got the kitchen and bathroom sinks functioning just in time for the arrival of our weekend visitors from New Haven CT. Time ran out on putting up the mirrored cabinet in the main bathroom so everyone had to make do without checking their look on anything larger than the small shaving mirror in the shower. Other than that, we had a lovely visit with R&R, who were contemplating the possibilities for the future, including relocating themselves and looking for work. She is losing her job as an art professor at the university. Fortunately, he is still gainfully employed at a corporate job. She is facing another round of surgery in a couple of weeks. It seems like a never-ending series of fixes to her skeletal and circulatory systems and it is getting harder  to keep calm before each surgery, anticipating the recovery period of very limited movement. Still, it is so much better not to have to face each crisis alone. We made trips to Greensboro, where we checked out the local art space at Elsewhere, and Winston-Salem, where we had some a very nice dinner together at The Honey Pot. I wanted to go back to The Forge, a maker space, and some nearby artist studios but everyone ran out of time and energy.

While we were in Greensboro on Saturday, they also introduced us to a couple of friends, Lonny and Jennifer - a very nice couple with two amazing daughters. They spent Easter with them and the girls, decorating eggs and making Easter bonnets. The Easter Bunny even made a surprise visit to them while they were there. I saw lots of pics of crafting girls and adults in paper bunny ears. One sign this is a couple I'd like to know better: at one point, Lonny wondered aloud how to make black dyed eggs and his oldest daughter said "Like your soul?" I consider that a sign they are doing it right. R&R say they are two of the most well-adjusted and smart children they have met. I'm sure they are.

It is a 10-hour drive from Connecticut to North Carolina. I think MonsterMustDie found their willingness to travel very inspiring. He started to suggest driving 5 hours to Atlanta just for the Scott Antique Show and then, rather than staying overnight or visiting with anyone, turning around and driving 5 more hours home the same day. I told him that did not seem worth the effort at all to me. I am still sad that I had no time for any social activities other than a very impromptu lunch with Chaz & Sandra last time we were in Georgia. He is welcome to only drive down to the Scott show and back on his own if he wants to. He would certainly enjoying picking and treasure-hunting around friends of his who are also dealers of Mid-Century Modern antiques. Maybe he could even bring back some plants sold by Beech Hollow Farms, who have a booth outside the Scott show sometimes. It would just kill me to be "so close, too far" again.

Meanwhile, my mother has surgery tomorrow to install an implant for her dialysis treatment. It is a very routine procedure but things are always complicated by her diabetes, anemia, and age. Every time I talk with her, all she does is cry. She is in a very dark place these days and there is nothing I can do for her. Sadly, I think she would much rather pull me down into the pit with her instead of let me try to pull her out of it.

Sometimes you just have to call in a professional.

The pedestal sink in the main bathroom is up now and the faucet appears to be working with no leaks.

However, now we have a non-functioning kitchen sink. It started when we decided to replace the broken sprayer before we had guests from Connecticut here this coming weekend. I had the sprayer in my condo sink replaced a couple of times and it seemed like a very fast, simple, cheap thing to do. I wanted to ensure there were no crazy messes if either of our guests tried to use the malfunctioning sprayer. However, everything under the sink is so old, dilapidated, and cobbled together that I just ended up turning off the water supply to the sink until we can get a plumber in. We were able to schedule a visit on Thursday – one day before our guests arrive. Hopefully, this will go smooth and quick.

I have been feeling especially sad from having no work but perhaps, just this week while things are going on at the house, it is fortunate that I can be home to deal with any contractors who need to come in.

Looking out the kitchen window

I don't see what they have to mow other than a few wild onions. That,  and they are tearing branches off of small trees instead of cutting or pruning.

another whirlwind tour

We returned home yesterday around 6:30 pm from a weekend trip to the old neighborhood, with very little notice ahead of time for planning any schedule of visits and activites. We spent the weekend staying in the old neighborhood with John & Cindi again, who are excellent hosts every time we are able to come for a visit. I had two very good dinners with them that included things I can not get at home - good Vietnamese food and Indian food. I had been craving curry this week so I was happy to go to one of our favorite Indian restaurants on Saturday night.  Sunday, we were able to have an impromptu lunch meetup with Chaz and Sandra & her mother at So Ba in EAV. I would really love to be there on a late night some time when it metamorphs into the Octopus Bar, an after-hours hangout for bar & restaurant industry employees. Kinda reminds me of how everyone would meetup at Back Street on late nights after the clubs and restaurants closed years ago.

We needed to accomplish two things on the trip: 

1. Deliver a very large piece of hard-to-ship furniture to the Atlanta showroom from his company facility in North Carolina (the main reason for the trip).

2. Visit my mother, who is in declining health.

The only thing we accomplished was the delivery. I kept the rest of our time in the city on hold, trying to schedule a visit with my mother, but she would not see me. She has no energy to do anything for herself because of a combination of kidney disease, diabetes, and anemia. She refuses to let anyone visit her at home because it is a wreck, including anyone in the family (again) who might want to help clean and maintain her home because she is so ashamed of it. The anemia leaves her so weak she doesn't want to get out of bed. So she refused to let me come to see her. After waiting all weekend to visit her and being otherwise without a car of my own (I drove MonsterMustDie's car down to meet him at  the U-Haul lot), I spent most of the weekend just hanging out and waiting on everyone else to do something.

MonsterMustDie was too exhausted to do anything after loading, driving and unloading the truck. There was one birthday party involving a group of friends I have not seen in a very long time that I wanted to join in but I could not make that happen. Everything else would have needed more long-range planning with people who have active lives in circles I am no longer a part of. And then, I have no real budget for entertainment, anyway.

I never felt so much like a ghost.

Cause for concern

... so I was talking to John tonight on the phone at the airport in Atlanta, waiting for his 10pm flight to Greensboro, and it is obvious that he is quite drunk.

I said I wanted to pick him up at the airport but he insisted he would be fine to drive home when he arrives. 

Update: Yeah. He made it home okay without having to phone me. Quite late. 

Locked doors lead to broken windows.

We had an impromptu dinner with Mr. Pitbullpotpie and a business associate last night. The forecast was for ice from the sky but we decided to make the rendevous in Greensboro anyway and I am very happy that we did. The visit and dinner at US Sushi was good and the business associate we met was a very nice guy, who we would enjoy seeing again. MonsterMustDie had dumplings and beef while I shared a sushi boat with our companions. When we returned home, he parked his car on the street just in case the driveway was iced over in the morning.

As it turned out, while there were flurries as we drove north last night, nothing else fell and there was just a light frosting on things this morning. While MonsterMustDie was getting ready for work, I heard the bell at the back door. Our neighbor across the street had walked up to let us know his car had been vandalized and broken into overnight. She had heard something in the night, around 12:30 a.m. and saw what happened. A couple of guys in a two-tone, dropped down Toyota Celica that had been checking out houses nearby and took advantage of his car parked on the street. The Drivers side window was smashed but nothing had been taken from the car. The change that was still sitting in the holder between the seats and his Ray-Ban sunglasses were untouched. There was nothing else of any value kept in the car.

So, this morning was spent waiting for Police officer and a crime scene investigator to come buy and make a report, then driving to work a few hours before taking the car into a dealership to replace the glass and make any small repairs that were necessary. This also means this will likely be a very long work day for him to catch up on all the time he missed this morning.