Wednesday

Now that my other medical appointments are finally slowing down in frequency, I have decided my main priority now is to stay on track with dealing with my back problems in the hope that I can overcome this. I have a group of four weekly physical therapy visits coming up and a prescribed group of exercises to do daily.

What I ate today:
2 cups coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
1/2 almond poppy seed muffin

Fit app: walk
Heart Points
miles

10:00AM weight: 110.0 lbs

Tuesday

I had a physical therapy appointment this morning for my constant back pain. I hope this provides a plan for me heal enough to travel, work at my desk, drive long distances and have a normal-ish life again. They set me up with a weekly schedule of visits and a list of exercises to try to do hourly during the day. My back hurt more after the visit so I took another Advil Dual Action this afternoon.

What I ate today:
2 cups coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Orgain 16g protein shake
Momo Fuku noodles with 1 cup baby kale
1 boiled egg
1 oatmeal cookie
1 Arden's Garden Gree Machine juice
1 Amy's Palak Paneer frozen entree
1 Bubbies pistachio mochi bite

Fit app:
40 Heart Points
2.67 miles

Monday

Sunny morning with clear skies.
My back was especially painful today so I took an Advil Dual Action tablet.

What I ate today:
2 cups coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
one 600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
1 poppy seed almond muffin
2 cups snack of flax seed blue corn chips
1 Orgain 16g protein shake

10:15 AM weight: 109.3 lbs

sunday

Another sad facebook event: tiny flea market of t-shirts.
Saw a groundhog in our yard for the first time. There are plenty of them in High Point but I had not seen one at our house before.
Talked to Sandy and Karen while I had my evening walk.
MonsterMustDie and I watched the latest episode of Jessica Payne's podcast about her trip to France.

What I ate today:
2 cups coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
two 600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
1 salmon + avocado sushi roll from Sprouts Market
1 poppy seed almond muffin
Orgain 16g protein shake
1 or 2 cups snack of flax seed blue corn chips and zen party mix with roasted almonds

Fit app:
33 Heart Points
4.51 miles

Saturday

Went to the Farmers Market and Deep Roots Market this morning.
MonsterMustDie walked with me in the evening, which made it a slower walk.

What I ate today:
2 cups coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement

4.4 oz Siggi's vanilla skyre
hot bar plate: grits + 1 mini spinach quiche + 3 veggie sausage links
1 dark chocolate almond butter cup
1/2 spanikopita
1 Bubbies pistachio mochi bite

Fit app:
11 Heart Points
1.46 miles

9:00 AM weight: 111.1 lbs

overcast today

I had an eye exam this morning. Only change was to my reading glasses/close-up vision. The recommendation was to go from 1.25 to 1.75 on my readers.

What I ate today:
1 cup coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
two 600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
2 oatmeal cookies
1/2 cup cooked kale + 1/3 cup chicken fried tofu
Orgain 16g protein shake
1 yellow tail + avocado + cilantro sushi roll

Fit app: evening walk
36 Heart Points
2.42 miles

1:30 PM weight: 113.3 lbs

Thursday on the patio

I had no plans today. MonsterMustDie went with me to Whole Foods and I took a quick look in Anthropologie and Pottery Barn. I found a two-pocket shirt and some jeans I liked a lot but it was not a good time to try anythng on. While we were browsing, Karen texted me to invite us to join them for dinner at CB7. We met them there for dinner and live music on the patio. It ended up being a nice evening.

What I ate today:
2 cups coffee
Rosuvastatin
Ocuvite multivitamin
600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
Amy's non-dairy burrito
Arden's Garden Green Machine juice
1 oatmeal cookie
1/2 cup cooked kale + 1/3 cup chicken fried tofu + 1 potato samosa

10:30AM weight: 109.8 lbs

Wednesday

Waiting to meet a new doctor, possibly my next PCP, today at 1:00pm for my Welcome to Medicare check-up. This woman is a Novant family doctor and I hope I like her. Novant, in general, gets very good ratings.

What I ate today:
2 cup coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Momo Fuku noodles with a handful of baby kale
1 oatmeal cookie
poke sushi bowl
600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement

Fit app: walk
19 Heart Points
2.48 miles

10:30AM weight: 108.7 lbs

Tuesday

Cloudy, dry morning. Went to Harris Teeter with MonsterMustDie after he got home from work and was spotted there by one of my former managers at the dress shop. I wanted to be invisible. He asked how I was and all I could think to say briefly was to comment on how my health has been one thing after another.

What I ate today:
2 cup coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
3 oatmeal walnut cranberry cookies
1 Orgain 16g chocolate protein shake
Ocuvite multivitamin
one 600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
Amy's Quinoa Black Beans frozen entree
1 Bolthouse Protein Plus smoothie

10:00AM weight: 109.6 lbs

Rather than walk this morning, I spent some time trimming the creeping juniper and english ivy off the curb beside the house.

What I ate today:
1 cup coffee with 1 teaspoon mud/wtr
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
two 600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
1 leftover veggie plate with chicken wings, faux fish, asparagus, and squash
Orgain 16g protein shake
PBJ sandwich with almond butter and lingon berry
D3 25 mcg (1000 IU) supplement

Fit app:
28 Heart Points
2.28 miles

11:30AM weight: 110.0 lbs

Sunday Morning

Sunny morning. Hot afternoon.
Didn't walk until evening.

What I ate today:
1 cup coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
2 oatmeal cookies
1 slice pizza
1 Salmon + Avocado sushi roll
4.4 oz Siggi's vanilla skyre
1 Bolthouse Protein Plus smoothie

Fit app:
22 Heart Points
1.8 miles

11:15 AM weight: 107.8 lbs

Saturday

MonsterMustDie worked on the clay corner of the front yard this morning.
We had lunch with Karen and Bob at Blue Rock Pizza. This time, to change it up, I ordered the Waiting For Columbus pizza. (I usually get the Trippin Billies mushroom pizza.) Lunch was followed by a long nap.
Dinner was leftover Chinese food from Harris Teeter, followed by a late walk to the tiny stadium and back home. There was a soccer game tonight so the food court was still open at 8:00PM and families were hanging out together at the tables outside.

What I ate today:
2 cup coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
1 Orgain 16g protein shake
1 Ardens Garden Green Energy Machine juice
Ocuvite multivitamin
two 600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
3 slices pizza
chicken and brocolli

Fit app: evening walk
43 Heart Points
2.63 miles

10:00AM weight: 108.2 lbs

Had a long talk with Karen on the phone today.
Not much walking today despite the sunny weather.

What I ate today: 2 cups coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Ocuvite Adult 50+ multivitamin
two 600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplements
Amy's Mushroom Bisque + rotiserie chicken
1 Orgain 30g chocolate protein shake
1 food truck lobster sandwich
1 Bolthouse Protein Plus 30g smoothie

Fit app:
14 Heart Points
2.08 miles

10:30 AM weight: 109.5 lbs

It's another day of tired sleepiness. I blame the medications I'm on now for my lack of energy and the hot flashes I'm having today. My back / sciatica is especially painful today as well. Could that be the humidity (85%) and barometric pressure (30.10 in)?
I gave up and took an Advil at 1:20 pm because I was tired of my side hurting so much today. I can ignore most things.

What I ate today: 2 cups coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Ocuvite Adult 50+ multivitamin
one 600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
crackers and curry chicken salad
1 oatmeal cookie
1 Advil Dual Action tablet (Acetaminiophen 250mg + Ibuprofen 125mg)
love Butternut Squash Ravioli

hump day

Another rainy morning. I saw the city mowing truck go around the woman's yard downhill on the corner. Her house looks abandoned and so sad, it's surprising that someone actually lives there. She is much more of a ghost than I am.

I spent most of the day with Karen, browsing at Friendly Center, where I found a new pair of lounge pants. The sweat pants I have now, which I bought years ago while shopping with her, are kinda thread-bare now and I have been wanting to find some new pants to replace them for a while. We had lunch at Harpers.

What I ate today:
2 cup coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
1 oatmeal cookies
1 Orgain 16g chocolate protein shake
grilled asparagus
spinach quesadilla
fried chicken fingers
Ocuvite multivitamin
one 600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement

10:00AM weight: 108.9 lbs

Lethargic

It's another day of tired sleepiness. I blame the medications I'm on now for my lack of energy and the hot flashes I'm having today. My back / sciatica is especially painful today as well. Could that be the humidity (85%) and barometric pressure (30.10 in)?
I gave up and took an Advil Dual Action at 1:20 pm because I was tired of my side hurting so much today. I can ignore most things.

What I ate today: 2 cups coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Ocuvite Adult 50+ multivitamin
one 600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
crackers and curry chicken salad
1 oatmeal cookie
1 Advil Dual Action tablet (Acetaminiophen 250mg + Ibuprofen 125mg)
love Butternut Squash Ravioli

12:30PM weight: 108.0 lbs

Monday

I started the day going to the post office to send a sample to a new Duke study. This time, it was a tube of spit for genetics research.
Then I went to an Atrium medical center for blood labs, which the telemed doctor had ordered in good faith when she renewed my prescription for Rosuvastatin.
It's been raining off and on most of the day. We had a power outage for about 45 minutes in the afternoon, during which I decided to go to Publix to kill time rather than sit in a dark house.

What I ate today:
2 cups coffee with whole milk
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
chicken salad and triscuit crackers
1 slice pound cake
Ocuvite Adult 50+ multivitamin
two 600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
1 banana
1 Orgain 16g protein shake
1 boiled egg

10:00AM weight: 108.5 lbs

tired

I haven't been anything beyond lethargic today. Probably a result of the letrozole I'm on now. Waiting for my body to adust to that. I've been sleepy all day and haven't wanted to do much more than lay on the couch.

I did make it out to Home Depot to buy a new broom for John to use for yard work. I also went to Publix to pick up some more protein shakes so that I would have some ready when I get up in the morning.

MonsterMustDie and I watched the final Sandman episode, the stand-alone story of Death The High Cost of Living. We went for a very brief walk afterwards and I ended the night with a long phone conversation with Cindi. She phoned while we were out walking to catch up and find out how I was now. We talked mostly about all of my medical appointments and the ongoing treatment plans for me. She told me about taking care of her mother, who is in managed care now. We talked about the high cost of medical care and the arthritis she now has in her hands and her own concerns about the worst possible side effects of the medication she is finally starting to take for her arthritis. She put it off as long as she could because of fear of those effects, that includeds kidney failure, but she said the pain was bad enough to try it now. I said her doctors should keep her very closely monitored for whatever might or might not happen with her medications. It was a good talk.

What I ate today:
2 cups coffee with whole milk
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
two 600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
Orgain 30g protein shake
1/2 sweet pepper and goat cheese flat bread
Triscuit crackers with curry chicken salad
1 cup ginger lemonade

Fit app:
20 Heart Points
1.81 miles

current weight: 108.7 lbs

Farmers Market morning

MonsterMustDie and I went to the Greensboro Curb Farmers Market this morning. It was the first time I've been there in quite a while.
We stopped at Deep Roots Market afterwards so I could get some breakfast at the hot bar there.
When we got home, I decided I'd like one more cup of coffee and there was hardly a cup left in the carafe. I heated that up 30 seconds and topped it off with one of the cans of Columbe coffee that Sandy left here for me when she was taking care of me. It had a surprising about of foam at the top, designed to have a lush head of cream on top when poured from the can. Combining it with the hot, unsweetened coffee was perfect.

What I ate today:
2 cups coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
breakfast at Deep Roots Market: Grits, 3 vegan sausage links, 1 spinach mini quiche
1 Orgain 30g protein shake

Fit app:
34 Heart Points
3.03 miles

10:00AM weight: 108.9 lbs

Rainy Friday

On my own this morning. MonsterMustDie is at work and Friday is typically the day that Karen and Bob have lunch with his former co-workers from Volvo.

Yesterday was spent going to the dentist to get approval and a faxed signed document from him for my Zometa treatments to start in the future. The plan from Duke is for me to have an infusion treatment every six months for a minimum of three years. I got approval. They said my dental health is good. Afterwards, I was a bit achy (maybe the weather?) and my eyes burned (something in the air at the dentist office). I still had a bit of grit in my mouth from the visit when I woke up this morning despite rinsing my mouth out several times after getting home. Karen and Bob invited us to join them for dinner but I really did not feel up to it. My belly didn't feel quite right either, so I just spent the rest of the day napping and pacing around the house. The weather felt too cool and wet to do any walking outside.

I feel a lot better this morning. It's still raining and drizzly outside.

What I ate today:
2 cup coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
two 600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
2 oatmeal cookies
6 vegetable steamed dumplings with a splash of soy sauce
2 Orgain 30g protein shakes
1 yellowtail + avocado sushi roll
1 fresh spring roll
I also took one Aleve today for the pain in my hip. That is something I rarely do now.

Fit app: afternoon walk
37 Heart Points
3.23 miles

10:00AM weight: 106.0 lbs

I got a call from the Dietitian at Duke today at 10:30AM. I really don't know what to say to her about my continued weight loss. She did not have any new insights about what I could do to improve things, other than to try a couple of new supplements. I sincerely hope my body uprights itself soon. She said, generally, that I need to be at 15% more weight to what I am now. I should be at 115 or 120 lbs.
More protein shakes.

TeleMed with Atrium today

I had a pleasant conversation with a doctor at Atrium, who said she would immediately refill my Rosuvastatin prescription and told me she would put in an order for blood labs. I can just walk into any Atrium clinic on the list she sent me on any day in the future to have the necessary blood labs to check my cholesterol. She was also going to put in a standard order for Hep-C screening and a Thyroid test because of my age.
She also assured me that the possible side effect of Zometa causing osteonecrosis is actually very rare. She said the benefits of Zometa greatly outweigh the risks.

What I ate today:
1 cup coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
1/2 Turkey sandwich
Ocuvite Adult 50+ multivitamin
two 600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
2 oatmeal cookies
Orgain 16g protein shake

11:00AM weight: 105.8 lbs

Yesterday was spent mostly with Karen, who was kind enough to get up before dawn to go with me to Duke for my appointments starting at 7:15AM.
I was not able to start the Zometa infusion therapy that was scheduled yesterday because my dentist still has not signed off on it. I unintentionally dropped the ball on that one but I'll probably be starting the 3-year infusion therapy that prevents all invasive dental work on November 5, 2025. At this point, to be honest, putting it off does not break my heart. I've been kinda afraid of the Zometa treatments possible side effects. It's a drug intended to prevent bone loss that can cause osteonecrosis.

What I ate yesterday:
1 cup coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Miso Glazed Salmon + hot and sour soup Lunch at PF Chang

Monday

I am experiencing new effects of my Letrazone treatment. By the time I got up today, I started to experience morning hot-flashes.
Had my evening walk while talking with Lisa about Halloween, cats, giant puppets, and sewing.

What I ate today:
2 cup coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
1 cup Chobani low fat key lime yogurt
handful of potato chips with sour cream
Orgain 30g protein shake
1/2 Turkey sandwich

Fit app:
43 Heart Points
3.55 miles

11:00AM weight: 105.8 lbs

Sunday

I am trying to come up with something to do today that does not involve sitting down in a chair, which is still painful for me. I only sit at the desk about 30 minutes at at time.
This morning, I walked to Stock+Grain and strolled around inside while a few people were preparing for the day.
I noticed yesterday, and more so today, that I am very tired now. All I want to do is nap now and it just dawned on me that this is probably a side effect of the Letrozole that I started on Friday. Fatigue and dizziness (which I'll interpret as sleepiness) are both listed as possible side effects of Letrozole. I certainly hope that is the only thing I experience from using it and I hope my body can adapt to that quickly.

What I ate today:
2 cup coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
1 cup Chobani low fat key lime yogurt

Fit app:
40 Heart Points
2.88 miles

10:00AM weight: 107.4 lbs

peaceful Saturday morning

Very overcast and quiet this morning. It rained last night.
Talked to Karen briefly this afternoon. They were at the hospital in Chapel Hill with Larry, waiting to take him home to Greensboro.

What I ate today:
1 cup coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
1 oatmeal cookie
1/4 spinach calzone
1 Orgain 30g protein shake
snack of brussels sprouts and 6 chicken wings
Ocuvite multivitamin
600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
D3 1000IU supplement

Fit app: walk
40 Heart Points
2.32 miles

10:00AM weight: 106.5 lbs

Friday

Today, I took my first Letrozole 2.5 mg tablet. I will be taking these daily to suppress estrogen in my body.
Too many people working with leaf blowers, lawn mowers, and diesel vehicles to feel comfortable walking outdoors this morning. I did walk at least one mile before going back into the house.

What I ate today:
1 cup coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Letrozole 2.5mg
1 oatmeal cup
Orgain 16g vanilla protein shake
2 boiled eggs
1/4 spinach calzone

Fit app: morning walk
16 Heart Points
1.01 miles

10:00AM weight: 108.5 lbs

Thursday

I met Karen and Bob for lunch at Mellow Mushroom. After Bob went home, Karen and I spent a leisurely hour browsing shops downtown.

What I ate today:
2 cups coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
2 oatmeal cookies
1/2 spinach calzone at Mellow Mushroom
Ocuvite multivitamin
600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
1 serving roast beef

Fit app:
33 Heart Points
3.26 miles

10:00AM weight: 106.0 lbs

still trying to create a daily schedule

Wondering if I am over-thinking everything now.
I am also very tired of having to make myself eat everything while I still have no real appetite and I'm not seeing any weight gain yet, no matter how hard I try. Is this normal after lung surgery? How long can I expect this to last? The unintentional weight loss started several weeks before the surgery but definitely got worse afterwards when my appetite went away.

Had a long conversation on the phone with Karen while walking around outside after sunset.

What I ate today:
2 cups coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
1 oatmeal cup
1 cup low-fat Chobani Keylime yogurt
1 Amy's NonDairy beans and rice burrito with 1/2 avocado
1 Starbucks Spinach, Feta, and Egg White Wrap
Orgain 16g protein shake

Fit app:
60 Heart Points
4.15 miles

10:00AM weight: 107.8 lbs

hot day

The morning walk was very short because of the heat. I went out for a little while with MonsterMustDie while he ran an errand. Neither of us felt like finding a place to walk indoors but he put gas in my car. Later, I had a good walk in the early evening just after sunset, when it was much cooler outside.

What I ate today:
1 cup coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
D3 1000IU supplement
Owyn 32 protein drink
1/2 black bean and rice frozen entree
1 fried chicken finger
Arden's Garden Yoga juice mix
1 Bolthouse Protein Plus vanilla drink
1/2 cup cottage cheese jello salad

Fit app today:
33 Heart Points
2.41 miles

Monday

Phoned Karen this afternoon after I finished running errands to the post office and bank.

What I ate today:
2 cups coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
2 servings chicken pot pie
1 Bolthouse Protein Plus vanilla drink
1 oatmeal cookie

Fit app morning walk:
7 Heart Points (because I was stopping to make photos
1.3 miles

steamy outside today

Already coughing more than I want to this morning. It was already very hot an humid by my 8:00AM mornng walk.
MonsterMustDie was out shopping for garden supplies from 10:00am until 2:30pm today. Meanwhile, I had a good conversation with Kathy, who has been going through a lot this past week but is working through it to resurface now.

What I ate today:
Rosuvastatin 5mg
600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
D3 1000IU supplement
Fish Oil 1200mg supplement
1 cup coffee
2 servings chicken pot pie
2 oatmeal cookie
supermarket sushi tray - salmon + avocado
Hot cocoa made with whole milk and Oatly

Morning walk
Fit App:
33 Heart Points
1.51 miles

home alone

MonsterMustDie spent most of today in Charlotte, NC. He wanted buy something he found online from a couple in Charlotte. While he was there, he also went to IKEA and other places in-between. He got home at 4:00pm today. I might have wanted to go with him if I needed to shop for something or if I could have visited Jennifer nearby but I know she and Patricia are in Paris, France this week for sisterly birthday celebrations. Patricia wanted to see the Eiffel tower for her birthday and they decided to make the trip a combined birthday gift, belatedly celebrating Jennifer's birthday as well.

I had a nice Zoom conversation with Brian this morning while he was setting up shop to open and Sandy phoned in the afternoon to check in and share what her day in East Atlanta had been like so far. Those conversations were the highlight of my day.

What I ate today:
2 cups coffee
Rosuvastatin 5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
1 serving chicken pot pie
1 yellowtail + avocado maki roll
1 bowl miso soup with extra tofu
1 oatmeal cookie
1/2 red bean-filled cinnamon pastry

Fit app morning walk:
21 Heart Points
1.26 miles

I need to feed my head

Woke up with no headache this morning. I am slowly improving physically but I'm taking a big hit mentally and emotionally from lack of input and redundant days. I'm so glad I had several friends who were able to come here to help care for me during my first two weeks after surgery but now my days are very empty. My dreams have been like reruns from YouTube and Facebook. Very weird and disturbing.

We had an impromptu Zoom chat with Brian and Laura tonight. I let them know the status of my recovery. Laura shared her latest finds from the Scott Antiques market. MonsterMustDie showed them his latest assemblage art project.

What I ate today:
2 cups coffee
Rosuvastatin
Ocuvite multivitamin
600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
D3 1000IU supplement
1 serving chicken pot pie
1 scoop vanilla Talenti gelato
1 frozen entree - Deep spinach paneer
1 Owyn 32 protein drink

Fit app morning walk:
36 Heart Points
1.94 miles

no headache this morning

I slept later than I wanted to, until 7:00AM. MonsterMustDie never wakes me up in the morning, although I would like him to. I woke up in time to see him before he headed out to work at 7:15AM. I was amazed there was not even a slight trace of a headache when I woke up this morning. I wonder if the chicken pot pie I had for dinner not long before sleep had restorative powers.
What I ate today:
cup of coffee with daily rosuvastatin 5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement
Siggi's lower sugar skyr - 14g protein
1 oatmeal cookie
1 serving chicken pot pie
1 frozen entree - Love Butternut squash ravioli
1 scoop vanilla Talenti gelato

little headache

Monday, I had my follow-up appointment with thoracic surgery. Had a new chest x-ray and met with an intern afterwards, who removed the stitch from the drainage tube incision on my left side and took off the last bit of tape over my surgery site.
Lunch:
1 frozen blue corn tamale

Tuesday, I got together with Karen in Greensboro. She pointed out that I have not been mentally present or attentive to anyone since my surgery. I don't know why I am being that way now. Maybe I have drawn too far inside myself emotionally. Maybe there is some lingering neurologica issue. I tried to be more alert the rest of the day. I know I should be kinder and more attentive to MonsterMustDie now. I am trying. I appreciate the alert she and Bob gave for behaviour I am not self-aware of. We had lunch at Elizabeth's Pizza, where I ate half a spinach calzone. I brought the rest home and ate a bit more of it for dinner and took calcium and D3 supplements with it.
What I ate Tuesay:
cup of coffee with daily rosuvastatin 5mg
2/3 spinach calzone
1 bolthouse protein plus smoothie
1 Owyn chocolate protein drink
600mg Calcium + D3 10 mcg (400 IU) supplement +
1000 IU D3

Woke up this morning, Wednesday, with a slight headache this morning at 6:00AM. After a cup of coffee, the headache was mostly gone by 6:45AM. It bothers me that I have not completely left my morning headaches behind but this morning was nothing compared to how it had been.
Today:
1 cup of coffee with daily rosuvastatin 5mg
Ocuvite multivitamin
1 serving homemade chicken pot pie from neighbors
oatmeal cookie

Fit app morning walk:
16 Heart Points
1.33 miles

Ups and Downs

Nearly everyone at Duke goes out of their way to be as positive as possible around all patients. Every doctor, nurse, and secretary here has assumed the best outcome will happen for me. There are exceptions everywhere. Here, I found one person - a very tall older blonde with terrible posture - who, in her effort to be positive kinda said the opposite. Her comment to me was how lucky this didn't happen ten years ago because breast cancer and especially lung cancer used to be an automatic death sentence and now I could live several years with them. This is not what I want to hear. I do not plan to live with cancer several years. I want to live past the cancer recovery for many years. If I had to choose between living with cancer, just delaying the inevitable by a few very painful and expensive years, I would certainly choose not to.

stay hydrated

I had an MRI in Chapel Hill early Friday morning before my radiation treatment in Durham. All I had to eat or drink before leaving the house was a small cup of coffee. Big mistake. This made the process of the MRI difficult because 1. I was dehydrated so it was difficult to find an easy vein to use for the injection and 2. I was much more nervous, which made all the needles painful. I blame myself for that. 

I start the second tier o radiation this week, which is a higher dose in a more focussed area, while I am lying on my back. The first week week of radiation was delivered while I was on my belly, with a section of the table removed. This is an effort to avoid tissue damage near my lung before my thoracic surgery in two weeks. 

New set up for radiation 

Original set up for radiation treatment 

so... I have lung cancer

The pulmonologist phoned to tell me the news. She only diagnoses the cancer. I still need a Thoracic team and surgeon. I need a brain MRI to find out if it has spread there, which is a common direction for lung cancer. She does not know if it is treatable. She said she will reach out to my radiologist and chemo oncologist. She said she would try to put them in touch with a Thorasic team. My new 3D CT scan is tomorrow at 12:30 pm but my Radiologist wants me to phone her mobile number before I head out tomorrow for my appointment. They think my treatment can go through without affecting any lung surgery or treatment. My Radiologist has already started reaching out to the Thoracic team on my behalf. My radiation treatments take place June 12 - June 26. I will have to drive myself to the treatments, which is fine - it’s just a long commute at 75 to 90 minutes. I am told a lot of people drive themselves to radiation treatments - I just hate to do it alone when my mind is in a bad place. MonsterMustDie doesn’t want me to stay at the Duke Cancer house during my daily radiation treatments but he will not take any time off work so he can only help me when they can schedule my treatments late in the day. He works weekdays 8:00 AM - 12:00 PM and he will only available if appointments and procedures are after 2:00 pm. I really need more people caring for me and driving me when I can't do it myself. I think I still need to look into staying at the Cancer House in Durham during my radiation treatments despite his objections. That would at least cover that part of my tests and treatments if I stay there. I don’t know who I can get to help here while I am going through all this. Karen and Bob will help all they can but they have a life to maintain too and a trip to Charleston they’ve been planning for over a year on June 20-26, in the middle of my radiation treatments.

note to self

Maybe my left lung will hurt a bit tomorrow. It's a bit hurty at the moment because I started coughing after, quite typically, some coffee going down the wrong way. It's very common for me to be doing nothing and syliva going down the wrong way and making me cough but it is an especially unwelcome event this week after my lung biopsy last Friday. So far, I've been very fortunate to not have to cough or clear my throat excessively while everything is healing from the procedure. This habit of things going down the wrong way is apparently, according to Jennifer, something I inherited from our biological mother, Gwen.

waiting

The final piece of tape fell off my incision yesterday. 

Today, I had lunch with Karen at San Luis restaurant. 

The new humidifier I bought from Amazon arrived broken in the box. Some parts was completely smashed, as if someone packed a previously broken appliance. I tried to return it for a refund but Amazon sent back an email later that a new one was on its way instead of refunding my purchase. The whole process was too messed up to try to make Amazon just keep the broken appliance and refund my money, so we decided to wait and see if the replacement is okay when it arrives. 

I have a telemed Zoom interview early tomorrow morning in preparation for my lung biopsy on Friday. Then we wait for results and new plans. 

more bad news

Just when I started thinking everything will be ok, I got more bad news. Got a very nervous call from the radiologist who ordered the CT scan for post-surgery radiation treatments. They found something at the top of my lungs now. She scheduled me ASAP for a diagnostic 3D CT scan the next morning at Duke Cancer Center. Seems I can't win for losing these days. I'm now having to do triage on my medical appointments, rescheduling the diagnostic well-care and checkups for my new cancer screening and treatments. Just as we got home, I was pulling into the driveway trying to listen to MonsterMustDie when the Radiologist phoned. Once they saw the CT image, they scheduled a PET scan on Friday. Karen came with me for the PET scan. We got there just in time near the end of the day. Everyone at the desk was gone for the day by the time I was finished. Now, we wait. Everyone has told me not to look at my test results until I speak with my doctor. She is supposed to phone me Monday, hopefully early so things can be scheduled and rescheduled now. I was supposed to start radiation treatments on Tuesday but I am certain radiation will have to be postponed now because I will now need surgery to remove cancer in my left lung. I hope it is treatable and curable. I hope it has been found at a very early stage. I hope there is no more cancer in my body to find and that it never shows up again. So far, they have found three different types of cancer in my body.

dreaming

Last night I dreamed I was in NYC with my parents, going to Broadway plays, shopping, staying in a very nice hotel, etc. We met Alton Brown and his wife, actually my pal Nicki in the dream, and he invited us to join them for dinner at a very posh restaurant. The color pink, dark wood, and crystal glass figured into the dream a lot. Everything looked perfect. Everyone was friendly and happy.

more to come

I had an appointment this morning with my chemo oncologist at Duke. My OncotypeDX labs came back very good and I will not have to go through full-on Chemotherapy. However, I will still have to take estrogen-suppression drugs (a daily pill). I also will have to have a IV infusion of Zometa to combat osteoporosis from the hormone-suppression every six months. The next thing I have to do is a course of Radiation therapy that will probably just be two weeks rather than four. I have my 3D CT Scan for that series next week.

still waiting on test results

My post-op checkups with the surgeon and radiologist this week went ok. The only bad surprise is that, during surgery, they found a much smaller 4mm cancerous tumor beside the original on of a different type - lobular. The surgeon was confident they got all of it at that time and there should be no more surprises of that sort. My cancer is phase 1A. They are still waiting for the OncotypeDX test results to determine whether I need full-on Chemo. So far, they are hopeful that I only need the 5-year hormone suppression therapy. On a better note, my radiologist said, according to recent studies, there is only a 1% better outcome doing half as much radiation treatments and she strongly prefers doing less radiation on me. The radiologist, assuming it will be a good result by then, set me up for my pre-radiation CT scan the first week of May.

recovery

Someone from thedentist office called me before they opened at 7:30AM and asked if I could be there by 8:00AM. I threw myself together and they let me in immediately. They replaced the broken crown with what they said was a much stronger material and I was out before 10:00AM. 

I decided to finally get my hair cut at a nearby salon, a tiny little one-woman shop, that I found online. She did a great job and was a joy to talk to. I'll be back to that salon next time I need a haircut. 

I also made a call get the ball rolling for a post-pollen dump roof and gutters cleaning next month, depending on my medical schedule and how soon the oak pollen finishes it's dump. 

falling apart

And just like that, I broke the crown on my back of my right jaw again while snackingI guess my future is no more crunchy snacks. This makes me so sad now, on top of everything else I'm dealing with physically. I just want to cry. This time, sadly, the dentist office is closed for the evening. URGH!!!!!

after surgery reset

I didn't poop for two days after surgery.  I had three cups of coffee and oatmeal for breakfast. No poop. I also had an oatmeal cup for dinner. Still no poop. At 11:15pm, I realized I couldn't sleep and perhaps that was due to the amount of coffee I had in the morning after cutting down on my coffee consumption the last couple of weeks. I took a Ducolax from an old box that has been in the pantry for years and then listened to podcasts until I faded to sleep some time after 1:00 a.m. At 5:45 a.m., I finally pooped.

I got up at 7: 00 a.m. and I hope I can start to get on a regular routine. Now that my gut seems to be getting back on track, my sleep schedule needs adjustment. 

Looking forward to being able to shower tomorrow. 

starting the process

Sitting here checking email and messages while waiting for a telemedicine call this morning before my appointments this afternoon at Duke. MonsterMustDie runs into my office and says “Do you know what time it is?!” My answer “It's 10:00 AM. My appointments start at 12:40 check-in time.” The drive to Duke in Durham, NC is 1 hour, 15 minutes away. He says ok and walks out of my office. He also wants to go to the Scrap Exchange to shop for art supplies for his future assemblages. I am not sure if I will be in the mood to spend an additional hour in the store after my appointments but I definitely do not want to risk being distracted by shopping before my appointments. The last one today is a blood-draw for at 2:40 PM. Seems like we can revisit that possibility after I am finished with my appointments today and depending on what mood I am in.

low spot

Yesterday, after being inundated on TV and online with metastatic breast cancer treatment ads, I was feeling hopeless and defeated and angry. I had troubled dreams all night. This morning, I spent a large amount of time listening to Senator Cory Booker's marathon speech. He is amazing and I am glad we have people like him and Raphael Warnock in our government, fighting the good fight.

starting cancer treatment

I spent most of Wednesday at Duke Cancer center. Karen accompanied me there and drove. 

now I am a cancer patient

I had a biopsy done on Fat Tuesday, March 4. I got my test results on the following Friday. I have breast cancer. I have what looks like I have what is probably stage 1 invasive breast cancer. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma 7 - 8mm They started to put me off til the end of April to make an appointment to consult with doctors at Atrium. My friend Karen, who was with me when I got the results, immediately spoke up and said I wanted to go to Duke. She already had the new patient contact information for Duke and she is shepherding me to go straight to Duke with this. I’d have to wait until Monday to hear from Atrium or Duke about sending my records and samples to Duke. Here’s hoping I can get in ASAP to deal with this. The good news today is I got my first trio of appointments at Duke scheduled for Wednesday, March 26, starting at 9:00AM, with the last appointment of the day starting at 1:00PM. Karen is going with me on Wednesday to my appointments in Durham, NC.

Looking for Spring

It is still lonely and boring here in North Carolina. Wondering if I should attempt to arrange any sort of Spring holiday-ish gathering at the house with friends and nearby neighbors. I doubt anyone will come but I still have an urge to try. I wish someone here would invite me to such a nearby event on a day that I don't have to be at the dress shop. Saint Patrick's Day is on a Monday this year. Maybe a potluck Irish-themed brunch on Sunday? What about an all-age alternative to an Easter Egg (without real eggs) hunt to celebrate the beginning of Spring? My calendar tells me that Spring Equinox is Thursday, March 20 and all Spring holidays seem to include eggs in the mix somewhere.

my medical schedule is looking geriatric

I had my first mammogram since 2018 last Tuesday. Late this afternoon, I got a call from Atrium. They want me to have a diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound as soon as possible. To satisfy work RTO requirements, the soonest I can make an appointment for that is March 4. Hopefully, they will approve that at work so I don't have to lie and call in "sick". I already put in RTO requests in for both days. After everyone refusing to see me even for well-checks without full insurance since I lost my last full-time job during the Covid shut-down, I'm finally getting the tests I should have been having annually for the last four years. My regular doctor still doesn't have time for my Welcome-To-Medicare checkup until May 13. I am still trying to figure out what's going on with my back and side, other than routine sciatica pain. It has been going on since April 13, when I woke up and could not even tie my shoes, and X-ray and MRI tests say there is nothing wrong with me. It is a lot better but it is still bad enough to prevent me from traveling far in a car or being able to sit down too long at my desk; although when it first started, I could not bear to drive or sit upright at all. So, I've gotten much better all by myself but I really need my fully-functioning life back. I have one more orthopedic appointment on March 6 - I think this will be the last one I make for my back.

Saturday

This is a rare Saturday that I'm not working at the dress shop. Rather than sleeping in, I had an anxiety attack that woke me up at 4:30 AM. I tried to stay in bed but I gave up a bit before 6:00 AM and started trying to quietly put things away and clean up the kitchen. MonsterMustDie woke up not much later and made coffee. Around 11:00 AM, we pulled some of the plastic bins down from the attic and began putting away the holiday decorations. Then we had lunch with Karen & Bob at Taste of Troy, a Greek restaurant in Jamestown. I had the vegetarian moussaka and MonsterMustDie had the gyro. After that, we continued working on putting up decorations and breaking down the tree.