#welcometohighpoint

 I have even more reasons to hate this place I live in. 

Good news: a visit at the home of a friend who is is an electronic engineer for a car company appears to have easily and quickly fixed all the problems I've been having with my car. I am delighted and relieved. 

Bad news: The KIA dealership here did not do ANY of the work they charged me for... in fact, they made my car worse. None of the maintenance I have been paying them for has actually been performed - not even running diagnostics on the thing. 

MonsterMustDie had a similar experience a couple of years ago (pre-Covid) at the local Honda dealership here in High Point, North Carolina and he swore off ever bringing his car a dealership here again. 

More bad news for others:
MonsterMustDie has often remarked about the tendency of people living here to all have warehouse units for their stuff. It's a North Carolina thing.   
In other local news, word on the street and in the dress shop this week is that a local mini warehouse business that was recently sold to a larger company has destroyed all of their buildings and sent all of the contents of people's units to the landfill. These were not abandoned units. They were paid up to date and no warning was given that the land they sat on was sold and the buildings would be emptied and demolished. People just showed up at their spaces and found either no building or the doors removed and all of their space emptied. One woman showed me photos on her phone of it all. Others were talking about it. I can only guess this was a tragic clerical/managerial error on the part of the new corporate entity that owns the property because no one was warned they had to empty their units. They only let people know that their rent was going up in the future because of new ownership, a common thing that most found acceptable. High Point is a very depressed area so I doubt there will be any legal punishment for destroying poor and lower-middle-class people's possessions after taking their money to store it. I am curious to see what washes out there. 

Good news: More people are shopping at the dress shop to replace summer wardrobe and vacation gear at the dress shop.  

things are falling apart

Everything is in need of repairs,  from my car to my body. 

I have one tooth that, after my last dental appointment the gum started receeding an alarming amount above a tooth so I now need periodontal surgery. 

My car appears to be dying. After three trips to the mechanic  it still makes a puttering sound when it's running at a slow speed and the check engine light stays on. A message on the console tells me it has an electronic problem. 

memories of the Hardy's house

My waking dream this morning was my father's mother, Nanny Hardy, telling me that she remembered my tricycle when I was little and asking if I remembered their house. I started telling her the first thing that popped into my mind, which was their carport and the folding aluminum lawn chairs with braided nylon. She stopped my there and walked away, satisfied enough and not caring what else I remembered. Even in dreams, it seems like she never liked me but that did leave me thinking about their last house and elements of it. I wish I had photos of it and the elements within it. 

They had a back yard surrounded by chainlink fence. In one back corner of the yard, there was a long, fruit-bearing muscadine vine hanging from the trees. There was a set of horribly uncomfortable metal furniture - slider sofa and two chairs. There must have been a matching metal table but I don't recall one. 

The downstairs finished base level (not quite underground) was where the laundry machines were along with the inner workings of the house that was always making odd mechanical sounds at night. It was mainly used for my grandfather's workshop, which was impressive to me even as a child. I rarely saw it because it was certainly not a child-friendly place but it was a big immaculately organized space with large machines & tools and perfectly ordered and separated small items like screws, bolts, etc. 

He kept everything in the house clean and perfectly running just like his car, which was huge, maybe an oldsmobile but I'm not sure, that was formerly my father's car. Dad gave it to him when he got a newer car and my grandfather had the car running and shining like it was fresh out of a dealer's lot. The only real evidence of use was the deeply imbued smell of tobacco. Granddaddy Hardy smoked both cigars and, mostly, a pipe. He did not smoke cigarettes and Nanny Hardy never smoked at all. 

They had vinyl slipcovers on all the furniture in their living room and a gray carpet that was actually equal amounts of multicolored fibers. There were TV trays with metal tops and I believe that was what they usually used at dinner. They watched TV a lot. I don't remember a single show they liked. 

There was always a crochet project or two that my grandmother was working on. Usually, it was a large throw-blanket of some sort. That was her only hobby. She had no friends - it was just my grandfather and the TV to keep her company. She had "bad nerves" and was a bit agoraphobic. He was much more sociable and loved doing things at the Masonic lodge in town. He was always working on some sort of small construction project at the lodge. She complained about them getting a lot of work from him for free. Whether he was being taken advantage of or not, I think all that matters is that he really enjoyed it. 

They lived there until he became disabled by a series of events following what was minor elective surgery. He got hepatitis from a blood transfusion during surgery and then one thing after another happened as a result of that. Without him there, my father sold the house and set her up in a very nice apartment in a retirement community near our house. She seemed to flourish there, with my father visiting her often. She lived to be 96 (young - both of the Hardy's came from families that lived into their 100's) when she passed away very quickly and painlessly from what was probably a stroke. It was the classic end of never waking up from a night's sleep. 

it never got better

After being stuck in High Point,  NC for over 5 years, I hate living here just as much or more than when we moved here from Atlanta. Never have I been so bored, lonely and unemployed. 

Even in the city,  I was a quirky individual. It took me years to build the social and professional networks that I was a part of. 

High Cost Of Living

 I am still reeling from the realization that no doctor really wants my business here in High Point, North Carolina. 

I am married. My husband is on medicare and pays none of my healthcare costs - never has, never will.  I make 20,000 a year. I filled out an application at for healthcare.gov because I am not able to afford health insurance. The lowest estimate I got for bare-bones healthcare is a $626.14 monthly premium. That is for Basic: $0 Well Visit, $0 Vision Exam, etc. 

WTF?!  

I assume I can't get health insurance for the rest of my life because I am married.  I only make $20,000 a year because I gave up my career in the move to North Carolina to follow my husband's job that he got fired from after three years. Now we are stuck here in the NC Triad for the rest of our lives. 

scoring points, then sulking

I was nearly late to work this morning after I lost track of time while finishing our holiday cards. I made it on time, but just barely. Because I insisted on showering  - I felt sticky. 

Then MonsterMustDie had to be a hero today, bringing my official Saturday work shirt to me after I had forgotten what day of the week it was. Then he went to a friend's house to bring in packages, water the tree, and feed the fish - but first he had to go BACK to my workplace to get the extra garage key from my car, after he had to put a new battery in my extra car key that was at the house. He's still recovering from today's adventures and still angry at me for making things so complicated this morning. He's sitting in the dark and not talking to me.

he must adjust, whether he likes it or not

Monstermustdie is already on his second beer this morning. He is on a downward spiral today because he realized his online shops are now in the negative balance from site fees. 

He insisted on only selling what he likes, which no one is buying now. 

He doesn't want to find low end work like retail. He's too old for a labor job. 

Thanksgiving 2021

Thanksgiving with my youngest sister and her family was very nice. Somehow, the short time we spent with them yesterday was very comforting and reassuring to me. I slept well last night for the first time in over a week and woke up in a good mood. I’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping from anxiety over money, loneliness, this deteriorating house I live in and boredom. 

I’m off work today and have no interest in being anywhere near a shopping center but I’d like to get away from the house. 

Tomorrow and Sunday, I’m back to work at the dress shop.  I’m looking forward to next weekend, when I’m off work 2 days in a row - probably the last predictable free time I’ll have before New Years, when we’ll take in holiday festivities in Greensboro on Friday evening and go to the Scandinavian Christmas Market in Raleigh on Saturday. 

anniversary, a birth, another birthday

 Friday was our fifth wedding anniversary and I was off work at the dress shop so we got out of High Point and into Greensboro for most of the day. We had lunch at Sticks and Stones Pizza, where MonsterMustDie had his favorite, the Bar Lights charcuterie plate, for his meal. I had a small Evergreen salad, which is my favorite there. It was actually a very pleasant day. No TV. No High Point. No house. just driving around in my air-conditioned car. 

I found out Monday that my niece gave birth to her second daughter on Saturday. 

Sunday was my birthday. I worked at the dress shop in the afternoon. I had talked to a couple of friends about the four of us getting together for dinner after work but MonsterMustDie did not want to leave High Point. He also said, as he does every time I invite him to go with me, that he didn't want to be away from home for hours because he had things to do. He wanted to order pizza at the closest restaurant to us - which is still packed with college students and Market people all week. I passed on that and went to bed early. I was beat anyway from being on my feet all day. I know he can't change is behavior, which he is increasingly out of control of and is probably early stage Alzheimer's disease, but it still has me being frustrated and angry constantly. He feels like I'm unappreciative of him when I express my unhappiness and that makes him angry. It's the gorilla in the room we can't deal with. 

On Monday, I visited friends in Greensboro and I ended the day having dinner with Karen at a nearby seafood restaurant. It was a late dinner and the restaurant was very empty. We had one side of the dining room to ourselves. I had the grilled salmon and she had a combo platter of shellfish. 

Yesterday was just hanging out at the house, catching up with filing and office work. MonsterMustDie was working his two-day job so I spent a large part of the day watching shows I like on TV and listening to music in the house. I also put what few Halloween/Autumn decor I picked up this year into a bin and stashed it in the attic. 

friends & SOBs

Yesterday, I had a great time having lunch with Karen and hanging with her and Bob for a while afterwards at their house. 

I got home to find the bins already at the curb with the household trash bin full of old merchandise from Monstermustdie. Apparently,  he had a bad day and decided to throw things away rather than sell them cheap. He also criticized my Alexa devices and told me he would never have any use for them.

I don't know what the catalyst for any of this behavior was. He went to Phil's house in the evening to help him restore a chair they have been working on, drank too much,  and stayed up past 12:35 a.m. watching anime.

soon, it will be October

Right on schedule, the nights are cooler and leaves are beginning to fall. I put out the big pumpkin Monstermustdie brought home with a new skeleton I got  to welcome the season. 

Nothing is working

 The weekend visit with Brian and Laura did not happen because our HVAC in the house died the night before we planned to drive down to Atlanta. Instead, we spent 10 days without air conditionining in a hot house while we waited on the local AC company here that MonsterMustDie has a personal connection with to replace everything but the duct work. They were supposed to replace the scrunched soft ductwork under the house as well but they said it was unnecessary. So now we do have a working AC/HVAC system again and I had to pay for all of it out of my savings. 

Future plans for traveling together to Atlanta have been obliterated by the schedule of antique shows he wants to attend. He is very excited about the new booth in the new antique mall here in High Point and is trying to fill it with higher-quality objects. The booth at the other mall was a complete failure. I had hoped it could at least serve as storage for objects that were crowding the den, dining room, basement, and back mud room but a lot of smaller things there just walked out of the booth. He never made a profit on sales there and only a few items sold from it. It was a very dark place were there were limits on the amount of lights people could use on the booth because the landlord wanted to keep utility costs down. The rest of the mall was filled with quaint, country merchandise that attracted a completely different type of consumer than what he wanted and, as far as out-of-the-house storage goes, he refused to put many items in the mall because he didn't want his carefully curated booth to look crowded. Complete fail, IMHO. 

But now, there is a new antique mall opening in High Point, just a block off Main Street, in a building much closer to market activities that is both well-lit and air conditioned. He is extremely excited about it and I hope he is successful there. It certainly looks a lot nicer and the other dealers do seem to be a lot higher-quality. We'll see how it goes. 

He also needs to be here for events like the grand-opening of the mall and pre-market. 

I know I could travel alone and I probably will, eventually. 

Meanwhile, there has been nothing for me to do here with no one to hang out with locally while the only friends I see here (a married couple) travel a lot for family, relaxation and work. I am eating too much and shopping too much out of boredom, with no income coming in. The condo is between tenants at the moment, though that should not last long. I haven't been able to find any freelance or remote work. I have finally given in and applied for retail work this week and it looks like that's the only thing I can find here. Retail work is always on a part-time schedule at near minimum wage so I won't be able to schedule appointments or trips more that a couple of weeks in advance and certainly not on weekends or holidays. That ends any possibility of my traveling again and I hope I can still keep appointments with my hairdresser and dentist. 

This month, nothing seems to be working for me.

weekend visits

I admit that the crab fest at my brother's house was a scary event that I did not know quite what I was walking into. Fortunately, everyone but my nephew and his wife were vaxxed and tested. No illness reported afterwards and there were some truly nice people there. Meeting my brother Jeffrey was great - much better and fun than either of us expected. I already felt like I knew his wife from our previous conversations. 

 A couple of weeks ago, we hosted our friends Brian and Laura at our house. We are on the route between Atlanta and where his family lives in North Carolina. It was a great visit. We introduced them to Karen and Bob. Brian and I went with Bob & Karen to The Forge Greensboro where Bob gave him the penny tour of The Forge, their facilities and what they do there with education in industrial arts while John and Laura went antique treasure-hunting around town. All of us met up later at Crafted The Art Of The Taco where we had one of their giant tables to ourselves near the front of the restaurant. It was also the first time Brian and Laura had seen our house in North Carolina. 

We both got tested again last week. 

Last weekend, we traveled to Black Mountain, near Asheville, NC to visit John and Kathy at their beautiful home in the mountains. It was, like the time with Brian and Laura, a very emotionally restorative visit. We both felt renewed after the visit.  We visited the studios and shops of downtown Asheville and traveled up the highway to visit the Folk Art Museum and the Grove Park Inn. 

While we were stopped at one scenic overlook I overheard one couple talking unmasked and without worry about testing positive for Covid19 two weeks ago while a tween-age boy was spitting on the sidewalk. Once we got back to the house and my sandals, I threw the my shoes in a plastic bag and didn't wear those shoes on the way home. The soles were covered in bad memories of those strangers at the overlook. All of us were masked the entire time we were out of their house. Rather than eat out, we had takeout the first night and the next two were great home-cooked vegetarian meals. 

We feel fine. I'd like to be tested again after we pass the 10-day mark from the trip. 

Speaking of trips, I have decided not to go to my niece's baby shower in Marietta, Georgia. I had one call with my sister-in-law when called to check what the protocol would be for the shower. It's going to be much bigger party than I thought and none of them are masking or are vaccinated. No one, including my pregnant niece, has any intention of ever being vaccinated. She was discouraging my decision to wear a mask. That is too much risk for MonsterMustDie and myself, and I certainly don't risk to bringing an infection of any sort to anyone especially vulnerable. 

I cancelled my RSVP in a phone conversation with my sister-in-law. I tried to phone my niece twice to let her know first but she never returned my calls. Anyway, it is my sister-in-law who is officially organizing the baby shower. 

We are still planning to visit Brian and Laura this weekend and I hope the weather will allow us to get together with some of the Women's Night group of friends on Friday evening and possibly another day while we are in Atlanta. Masked and outdoors and in a small group preferably. 

After this weekend, I believe all of our social activity will be online-only until after the holidays. That includes our local friends, Bob and Karen, because Bob is facing vascular surgery next week to deal with a dire situation that was made worse by a miscommunication with his doctors - they mixed up or lost his tests when he made an emergency visit in April an now he is a ticking time bomb with a 81% blocked inner carotid artery. 

I hope everyone endures and comes out on the other side of these times okay. 

Family Reunion

I took a road trip to Charlottesville, Virginia this past weekend with my half-sister Jennifer and most of her children to meet our biological half-brother, Jeffrey, and his family. This was all made possible by his wife. Jennifer picked me up on the way from Charlotte, NC, where she lives on Friday morning and drove all of us to Jeffrey's house where his wife was hosting their annual “Crab Fest” gathering. This was the first and only large social event I've been to in two years. I really didn't know what I was was walking into but I was assured that everyone was vaccinated and Covid-screened before the party. The singular exception to all precautions was Jennifer's oldest son, who refuses to be vaccinated but had been tested recently. He was perfectly willing to take his chances. This was the first time I met Steven and his wife, Guadalupe. 

There were six of us altogether. We were all piled into Jennifer's car with one person always volunteering to curl up in the back. We shared a room at the local Hilton in Charlottesville that was just two miles from thier house. Just like a DragonCon weekend, I thought. 

A crowded gathering seemed like a good idea for a first-meeting with the least amount of stress because, if things felt awkward, we could just fade into the crowd and amuse ourselves on food and mingling. This was a very casual seafood boil party - paper spread on folding tables with piles of boiled crabs, wooden mallets, and pans of corn on the cob and roasted potatoes. I met all of their family and several very lovely friends of theirs. Jeffrey and I got along well and actually had a good conversation on shared interests in music and books. Our first in-person conversation was fun and actually very relaxing. It dispelled a lot of the anxiety, mostly his, about meeting us and we agreed to talk again later. Most of the younger people kept their face on their mobile phones, engrossed in a Pokemon event going on all weekend. 

All of the family members met for breakfast the next morning at Michael's Diner. That gave us some quality time together before we were back on the road to North Carolina. 

breakfast the next day with both families

my siblings and myself

the next generation