every other day

I am, for the time being, working three days a week - Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. This effectively makes every other day a weekend and every day after that a Monday all over again. I am currently on the Saturday-Monday cycle. Today is Saturday again. Tomorrow is Monday for the second time this week.

In other news, last night I went with our neighbor, Amanda, to an India vegetarian cooking class at the Buford Highway Farmers Market. Came home with a grocery gift certificate, a handful of loose recipes, and a belly full of fresh Indian food. Last night was the first time I've made it to one of the BHFM cooking classes after intending check it out for months. Thanks to Amanda, I had the nudge to do it by knowing I had someone to go with. I'd like to attend other classes as often as money and time will allow. It gives me an opportunity to get out of the house and be around other people as well as learn something new. All good things.

This evening I have more social plans. Looking forward to meeting Mrs. Lounge and J.Paul for dinner in the VA Highlands neighborhood. Because of my current financial status, I'll actually be eating a small meal before I leave the house so I won't be tempted to spend too much at the restaurant. I've been having a lot of appetizer plates or soup at dinner out with friends and that seems to be a good system for me at this time. Drinks are, of course, completely out of the question. I have not been drinking coffee or spiritous beverages since I had food poisoning a couple of weeks ago. I plan to stay off alcohol and caffeine for a long time for both financial and health reasons. I am sure I will make an exception if I am presented with a situations where the vice is free and the quality is good.

health, mind, and the approach of summer

My body is falling apart this month. The week before Memorial Day I was downed by a 3-part combination of head cold, food poisoning, and caffeine withdrawal. I'm still waking up a bit stiff in the neck and back each morning with a slight headache. The head cold is still barely hanging on mostly as a sore thoat but I'm definitely on the mend on all sides.

This weekend has been less productive than it could have been but not too bad, all the same. Missed Rock & Roll MonsterBash at the Starlight Drive-In, which probably would have been pushing my physical limits after the food poisoning I had over the Memorial Day weekend. I did make it the the Indie Craft Experience show at Ambient Plus Studio.

Still trying to put things together for the summer party. Suffering from a lot of tunnel vision in my thoughts. Kinda a forest and trees scenario in my mind this week. I focus on one thing to the extent that everything else is out of sight. Perhaps this is a lingering result of the past couple of weeks.

Days End

Got home from a very nice gathering of friends tonight. Housemate comes up to me with a big smile.
Me: you smell like beer.
John: I AM beer.

too much waiting

Last week was mostly spent waiting. First, I waited for my dental appointment on Tuesday. Then, I mostly waited 14 hours while doing film extra work in Peachtree City. Then, I showed up to pick up a check and help out on building film sets and waited all day for the "wall" that I was to finish to be made (it was not done that day) and went home having accomplished nothing and with no check, either. Saturday, I could take no more waiting and bowed out of showing up again on the film set over the weekend for fear of wasting my days. Just when I thought puttering around all day at home was awful, I found something worse - being stuck all day in a chair or watching from the corner of the room while everyone else works or discusses things I've been out of the loop on. 

On the upside, I did make it out to see Dark Shadows on Sunday. It's a very quirky comedy with an all star cast that is impressive. Came home from that and watched a Eureka marathon while editing photos the rest of the day. Called my mom and tried to make arrangements for a Mother's Day visit, but she wasn't really up to it so we agreed to find a week in the future to go out to Babette's Cafe for a nice dinner while Halibut is still on the menu. 

Tonight, we're due for social planning meeting to send out the final invitation to the summer event at Rancho de WereMonster that I've been working on. Design by committee is never easy. 

hot pre-summer weekend

I did a few things this week. 

Thursday was a rare day of temp work at a very nice office nearby on a very old computer using very old software. What was supposed to be a 2-day job only took me one day to complete. Hopefully, they will call me back in when any changes are ready to be made. 

Friday was dinner and a movie with friends. I went to see The Avengers with MonsterMustDie, Fun Lisa, and Mr. Bunny & Cindi. Great movie - might go for a second time. Josh Whedon understands Marvel. 

Saturday, after some difficulty getting my motivation to go out for a long time in the pre-summer heat, I took my camera to the Fairy House Tour Of Homes at the Lake Claire Land Trust. Oddly, the turnout was not as big as last year. It was a hugely popular event in 2011 and while there were still plenty of children creating structures to welcome back the summer fairies it hardly as much as last year, when there were beautiful magic little alters to nature everywhere I looked.  
Came home, showered, and went for a neighborhood walk in the cool evening to enjoy the full moon. 

Sunday was my day to enjoy the Art-B-Que in Avondale Estates. Lots of really great art and craft and food trucks. Saw some inspiring studios and met some very nice people there. First stop for myself was the King Of Pops. MonsterMustDie had to have a Palookaville corndog and was thrilled to be given the lucky number 13 on his ticket. We stuck around long enough to try the whole hog that Pine Street Market had been cooking since the night before and were given what seemed like half a pound of meat as well as fresh slaw and potatoes for 5 dollars. I had brought a cooler with cold drinks, so we stashed our leftovers in it before leaving. We used some of it to make pulled pork sandwiches for dinner, and will probably finish it tonight along with a good salad.  
On the way home, I went on the weekend treasure hunt with MonsterMustDie, who got home in time for to return to his eBay sales and quality time with his wood shop.  
I laid on the floor for a while and cooled off, showered, headed to East Atlanta for a visit with Gretchen, who was hanging out a the EARL with Chaz and Sandra after returning from another trip to Australia. She was extremely jet lagged but very happy with her trip and experiences on the other side of the globe. She showed photos on her iPhone and talked about music, men, food, strange animals, beautiful old buildings, and the cultural mixture of Australia. 

All of the heat and more walking than usual for me caused a headache last night, probably from dehydration. I took a PM and slept solidly for about 7 hours. I would love to maintain some degree of that activity level for the next week... or months (... or years). The heat was cruel to me but being around people I like and staying busy was great. 

only plants speak to me this week.

Looking for a reason to leave the house today. Yesterday, I did not leave home at all except for a brief trip to the post office to send a package for my house mate. Today, I've spent most of the morning in the yard, weeding while trying to avoid touching the numerous sprouting poison ivy. I'll be out to pull as much of that up as I can while wearing gloves and long sleeves later. Saw the first pod on the snap peas that I planted in February. The tomatoes I started are still tiny plants that haven't done much, possibly from lack of rain. I'm thinking about popping the rest of my tomato and chile seedlings in the ground today or tomorrow between the showers that are forecast for this week. I'll probably do it after the ground is wet and soft. The cilantro I planted is doing better this year than it has before. The planter box in back has leeks and carrots on either side of an enormous parsley that survived the winter and is about to flower. I know I should probably cut it back but I haven't had any need of it since I haven't been cooking much this week. Might be time to make chicken piccata or sauce for pasta.

I seem to have worked my way out of any role I might have had in the latest film by the Twins and I suppose that's okay. I've recommended people and resources to them that have proven to be very useful. I wish there was an official job title for that.

As usual, I really need some work to keep me happy and busy.

Looking at the weekend

Still waiting for a reason to shower and put on clothes today.


Tomorrow, I should be busy finishing the small freelance job I have putting together a brochure for a client in Texas, of all places, who found me on CraigsList. I don't know what the chances are that I will be paid for this (I have reason to distrust small clients and the news feed has me distrusting Craigs List) it is still a very good opportunity to be active and keep things up to date and in memory.
I also have a haircut appointment with a new stylist, which has me feeling a bit anxious, on Saturday afternoon. It's a thing I can't really get out of because I've paid in advance for a flock of haircuts at this salon, which saves me money, and my regular guy has left the business. Wish me luck with this new girl.
In the evening, I will probably be on site for the film trailer shoot of the project created by The Twins, unless I am chained to a computer, working.


Sunday, I am honored to be invited to an Easter Bonnet Brunch with friends so my Easter holiday should be quite nice.


Meanwhile, I found and tried a good recipe for vegan German Chocolate cupcakes. German Chocolate is MonsterMustDie's favorite cake and, with his birthday and the Goth Potluck happening at el Rancho de WereMonster on April 28, I need to be prepared

Happy Rose

We had just enough rain Friday night to make everything spring into bloom.

quiet life

The song in my head when I woke up with this morning was Death Or Glory by The Clash.

I had dreams of a gigantic stone mosaic in a Japanese sculpture exhibit. It was nearly three stories tall, made of granite and marble in various shades of gray and the image on it - was a chair. It was an enormous monument to a mid-century modern chair.

My life is too boring lately.

Tonight, after juggling events and friends, I have plans to attend the neighborhood ladies Bunco game. In celebration of Spring, I am bringing roast asparagus wrapped in pancetta with a side of meatless roast asparagus. I hope the ladies like it.

Vernal Equinox 2012

As it turns out, I did get a bit of activity last week. Started with having a photo gig fall through that was immediately replaced by two all-night extras gigs that paid more. Followed that with one entire day spent mostly sleeping. Housemate said he was starting to become concerned about my 24-hour nap after the 48-hours of activity. I was kinda okay with having two days of nothing after that.

Saturday was Saint Patrick’s day and it was spent at two different birthday parties for friends.

Sunday was spent recovering from Saturday. Mostly, MonsterMustDie needed to recover from being a little too drinky on Saturday. I put more of the tomato seedlings I started in the garden as well as leeks that I decided to try this year.

Monday, I had an evening production meeting for the short film project I am a part of.

Today, I'm back to really wanting some more activity. The morning was spent thus far weeding the front yard a bit, trimming back the “monkey grass” and listening to music loudly while considering the future. I really need to live more in the now - the future just makes me anxious. Now, by afternoon, I've decided I've spent enough time outdoors with the temperature climbing and the second or third day of record-breaking pollen counts. Fortunately, the pollen has not bothered me at all yet but I don’t think I should push my luck, despite not being allergic.

bad week

I had a good dinner with several friends on Sunday evening at Rose of India. Seems like everyone has been having a bad week. My little problems have been small compared to what else has gone on around me - embezzling, suicide, death (by natural and unnatural causes), etc. Crazy things were going on this week.

I thought I had my federal income tax filed that afternoon but by the evening I had an email that my form was rejected for having the wrong birthdate. The IRS had my birthdate wrong. They also wanted to know where I was born and I have no public record on my birth place. I was told I would have to go to an office with my birth certificate in hand.

Monday was full of complications. I went to the IRS downtown to deal with the issue of my birth certificate, full of anxiety, and was fortunate enough to have very little wait before being helped by real human beings on the other side of the counter. After that, I phoned MonsterMustDie to let him know that things were presumably worked out on my relationship with the IRS and he insisted that I should go to the SSA office, on the 28th floor of the same building, to be certain that my Social Security account was okay. So I walked back inside and up the elevator for a longer wait to speak to someone at the SSA office. The woman behind the thick glass had a severe speech impediment. Between her way of speaking, the acoustics of the room, and probably my own old rocker ears, it was a bit like a Monty Python sketch understanding what she was saying and then waiting several minutes while she peered at a monitor in long gaps before the next question would arise. All I know is she said I was okay and a new card would be mailed out to me. Then my time was up and she was on to the next person waiting. I didn't get to ascertain that the card would come to my post office box and not my very insecure street address at the midtown condo, where my voter registration still resides - and where I might return some day. I know Elena will let me know promptly if I get any mail there.

Storm clouds but no storm here today. Just a drizzling now and then. The forecast has tomorrow being very warm with a high in the 80's. I'm feeling anxious tonight with nothing lined up for tomorrow.

T shirt for sale

First  prints of the T-shirts we will be selling to raise money for making Zombie Crush, a short film made for kids by kids.

rant

Forgive me for complaining. Please look away if you don't want to be brought down. I just have to get this out now and then.

I hate living in my current situation without the steady income that would give me the freedom to live independently. It's like living alone without any of the benefits of shaping my own life. I miss the freedom to come and go as I please and take part in things that really interest me. I hate living without love or sex or shared activities that I feel should be part of a relationship. I hate feeling like I am always on a leash. I hate the feeling of impending doom from my withering savings. I do not want to be here.

All of this was made especially painful today by the fact that I have no prospects at the moment and no temp work this week. I had a bit of work editing photoshop files for friends last week, which I am very grateful for, but that work has already run dry and I don't see anything else coming to me any time soon. My room mate is more controlling as time goes on. My taxes still aren't done and that is hanging heavily over me and the room mate, who said he would do them two weeks ago, still has not touched that job and I don't have a CPA to do it for me.

Lack of money affects how I socialize, how I eat, how healthy a lifestyle I can keep, my appearance, my ability to travel. I don't qualify for any sort of college loan and no real college will let me start classes with out a guarantee of a loan. Even if I do find a way to go back to school, I am apparently too old to be hired by anyone so I still have to fend for myself regardless of whether I have a new degree or certification of any sort. I am over qualified to be hired in anything simple like retail and I have no recent retail experience because I have worked so long in corporate or specifically skilled jobs.

My 401k and retirement funds disappeared when my father died and my brother said he had no idea where they were. I suspect that I have paid a large part of my niece and nephew's college education. When I changed jobs, I let my father handle moving the 401k to my mutual funds account. My father put my brother in charge of my funds before he died. It was not a huge fortune that would keep my for the rest of my days, but it was a substantial amount that might have funded classes, new equipment, and independence. The only income I have these days is the rent I get from my condo. I'm not sure if that small amount is worth it by the time I pay my half of the rent here. It keeps me afloat but just barely.

Anyway, life would be happier if I had at least one or two of these things I lack. A job would solve most of my problems immediately. I always seem to be tied down by one thing or another in this life. I run from captivity into a box. I form relationships with people who move to places I can not follow them to. I pick the wrong industry to make my career in.

Billboard in Sandy Springs

I don't think this is a good recommendation for choosing a dentist.