Wednesday

Time for a rant.

I spent most of the day at the dining table, surfing Facebook repeatedly while Mother watched the news, game shows and daily TV like The Chew. Her first appointment with the occupational therapist canceled on her because the therapist has a child in the hospital. The second appointment of the day phoned to reset the time a bit later in the day.  Most of the day was spent waiting on different things. After Mother's therapy,  we went out for pedicures.  Then we had dinner before going home. 

Over dinner,  she brought up the inevitable subject of extending my stay with her. She said it was supposed to rain later in the week and it would be too dangerous for me to go home in bad weather.  She said there's no one to take care of her after I go home. I reminded  her that I already have plans to resume my life after the 27th and that the rest of the family would be back by then. I also mentioned that uncle Ron was on the mend and already driving again.

We went back to the house and fed the dogs, I phoned MonsterMustDie while I walked them. When I got back inside she was on the phone with Ron. She turns to me after the phone saying Ron told her I "posted" that I was leaving.  I  told her I only emailed the family yesterday to remind them when I needed to go home - on October 27 (and what she needs so they can plan accordingly ). My uncle seems to think I should stay with my mother indefinitely  (permanently).

Apparently my life means nothing to anyone but me.

Ongoing health problems

Advil hurts the kidneys.  Tylenol hurts the liver.  Mother is advised to avoid Advil. She is still trying to get an antibiotic prescription for a UTI she's had for weeks.  Her doctors aren't concerned about it, I suppose,  because she doesn't complain about constant pain - it only bothers her when she urinates.

Poop

The first thing I did this morning was clean dog poop off the floor of my mother's bedroom. After cleaning poop off the living room and sun room floor in the morning previously, I have been trying to convince my mother that the dogs should crated at night. She insists on having them in the bed with her at night. Yesterday she said she would close the bedroom door at night to keep the from jumping down and pooping in the house. Now, the dogs will pee or poop in her room rather than waiting for their morning walk. I can't force her to crate the dogs at night. There's nothing I can do here to change how she chooses to live. 

I feel like I am only enabling her at this point. I am counting the days until I can leave. Sunday, Sandy chuckled "You thought High Point was bad but now I'll bet you can't wait to go home." She is so right about that. Just when I think my life has reached an all time low, it got worse. I want out of here! 

Dogs

Sunday afternoon is my once a week chance to go into Atlanta from Kennesaw. It's the one day when there are no appointments for therapists, doctors, or medical procedures for my mother. This week I went down to East Atlanta Village to visit Sandy while she volunteered at Dogtober Fest, working at the charity raffle table. Charlie joined us at the end of the event and the three of us got to hang out together for a little while at the Flatiron bar before I had to head back to feed and walk dogs. 

Woke up this morning at 5:00 a.m. to a dog announcing two spots of poop in the living room. I cleaned the floor and took them out for a walk. Then I put them in their crate for the rest of the night.  Normally, they spend the night sleeping in bed with my mother until she wakes up in the morning. 

Well, now

Thankfully,  my brother phoned my mother last night to let her know the family is going to Italy.  I really was afraid they weren't going to tell her but,  at last, he did.
And now,  I expect that is  the last peep out of them until after their return.  I will absolutely not interrupt their vacation for anything. 

Tyranny of the Calender

I spent this morning listening to my mother cancel appoinments that she could easily make today just because she doesn't feel like going in. These are appoinments that are much easier to do with me driving her everywhere, taking her to the door, then parking the car by myself and picking her up at the door later. 

Then I walked the dogs and returned phone calls outside, where I could have a private, uninterrupted conversation.  

Now, she has filled Friday, the same day she knows MonsterMustDie is driving down from North Carolina to visit me, with appoinments all day. He will have to chase us down or kill time elsewhere until late in the day. 

Night Frights

So now,  my mother tells me that she can't stand for me to be out after dark.  She is afraid it is too dangerous for me to be out driving alone. 

So, here I sit.

Two more weeks of this to go and my sister-in-law still has not told her that their entire family is going to Italy on Friday.  Everyone will be gone for 10 days,  leaving me holding the bag.

Clothes Everywhere

She is concerned that she can't find hangers for all the things I washed and folded this week.

The fridge

Today's project was beginning to clean out the second refrigerator/freezer that my Mother has in her garage. Several things had burst open in it and the bottom has a pool of dark sugary goo that is taking lots of warm soapy water to dissolve enough to wipe out. I should have taken a photo of how full it was before I started. I am almost half way though it, trying to throw out as little as possible when everything should be tossed out. I found half gallon containers of juice expiration dated for 2011 that I poured down the drain. There was a burst wine bottle that looked like the cork had been shot out of if like a gun, which was probably the biggest part of the mess. There was an entire 6-pack of Sprite that was bulging with rounded tops about to pop.  

The amount of crazy hoarding here is frustrating. I am trying to tread lightly as possible while continuing to clean as much as I can. No one in my family knows what they are putting me through with this. She is sun downing every night and now she gets upset when I am out of her sight. If I make it through this month, I am never doing this again. 

Tired.So very tired.

Taking care of my mother, her house, and her dogs is a nonstop job.
I have run shopping errands, done a ton of laundry, assisted with shower and dressing, and walked both dogs several times today. I haven't had a shower myself since Monday morning. I also can't sleep well here baca use of the smell and heat.

My next task will be trying to clean the floors here. I don't set foot on the wooden floors without shoes on because they're so sticky.

Scarves

Just some of the scarves she has in mounds.  There are also drawers completely filled with slips or completely filled under pants, ect.

Toasty

My mother keeps her place warm and there isn't a window I can open in the bedroom.  I'm just laying on the bed sweating and listening to her TV in the den. Not gonna have much sleep here.

Jam Packed Here

Mother has more than a few pairs of shoes.  She has a gazillion of everything.

post weekend

We are back in North Carolina after another whirlwind trip to Atlanta. We stayed with friends in the old neighborhood again while we visited my mother and attended the wedding of friends.

Mother seems to be doing much better physically. She got two units of blood on Thursday and another two units on Friday. She also had her dialysis treatments in the hospital without any worries about transportation. By Sunday, her doctor had given her a lighter sling to keep her arm in rather than the tight, stiff one that held her arm so close to her  body.  She wants to go home. She is terrified of going back to the rehab center. She does not want to be in the hospital. She is having evening anxiety attacks every day now, which sounds like something I've heard described as "sundowning" in the past. She feels abandoned and under informed by her doctors.

All this, and my brother and sister-in-law have not yet told her about their trip to Italy. I told them she needs to know before they leave on the trip because I do not want to be the one who breaks the news to her and she needs to know that I'm planning to take care of her while they're out of the country. I got a voice mail from my uncle Ron while I was in the shower this morning. He sounded tired and concerned. The message is just "Give me a call back. I need to talk with you about your mother. I don't understand what's going on." He has knee surgery scheduled in the morning and I know she is very worried about it. I've left a voice mail reply. Then I phoned my sister-in-law. I haven't heard back from either of them yet.

In other news -

Nicky and Sean's wedding vow ceremony was beautiful, sweet, and funny. It was a huge collaboration of friends putting the event together in a very personal and creative way. Her family were able to be there and they are just as funny and sweet as she is. With the exception of the wedding party, the couple have cut out drinking and any other unhealthy habits and are actively trying to conceive their first child. I will look forward to future announcements/progress reports on that family project.