A visit with the O'Briens

Sunday, when my mother has no appointments, is once again my only chanc to leave the house for a little while. Today's activity was driving to Roswell to visit Nicky & Sean to catch up for a while (mostly, me venting about my life at this moment) and picking up some succulent plants that were left over from the table decorations at their marriage ceremony a few weeks ago. Now, the little plants are in a box in the floor of my car and hopefully they will survive there until I can get them home. I am already thinking of different settings indoors for our new oxygen-producers. 

My mother, who no longer cooks but loves to watch QVC, bought a new food processor while I was out walking the dogs. I was surprised she didn't buy herself some of the Iman designer clothing they were selling before I took the dogs out, since she was going on about how nice the coats looked. She told me that I'll inherit the food processor when I gave a look to question the necessity of another appliance. I told her I already have a nice one at  home - what I need in the kitchen is a slow cooker and Dutch oven. She pulled out two small old fashioned crock pots from a cabinet in the garage and told me to take them home. At least that's some clutter I remove from what's out there. Our house is already far too full of stuff but I plan to make some big Goodwill donations of useful junk as soon as I get home. That will give me some small thing to do while I start the search for work and occupation from the beginning again. I had to drop or quit what little I had going on, that I've spent a year building, to be here helping her. 

Mother tells me that my brother's family returned from Italy this morning, according to my nephew. I hope to hear from my sister-in-law tomorrow or Tuesday, telling me that I am relieved of my service here. It is a pity that I'll have no Halloween, my favorite holiday, for the second year in a row. It is sad that I have now missed any opportunity to work seasonal jobs this year since everyone will have finished all of their holiday hiring in October. I am starting my second year in North Carolina in worse shape than I started last year. 

Early Saturday

Took mother in for an earlier-than-usual dialysis treatment today. Saturdays do occasionally start at different times than weekdays. My mother says that is the day when the techs sometimes like to have an early start and finish to their day, when doctors offices and other businesses are closed. Seems quite understandable to me. I am sure they like to have a larger block of personal time on the weekend. 

Doctor Starnes office

Mother had an appointment this morning with her orthopedic doc. They did an x-ray of her injured shoulder. 

He wants to see her again in 6 weeks. Dr. Starnes gave her permission to drive again and prescribed more physical therapy. 

Falls and pins

Last night I could hear my mother scolding her dogs with lines like "No Maggie! Bad girl!" Figuring the dogs had pooped in the bedroom again, I went back to sleep and ignored everything else coming from her room that night. Usually, I have to sleep with earplugs in. When I got up and came into the dining room this morning, she told me at one point during the night she had nearly fallen out of bed and was pinned on her bad arm. Fortunately she was eventually able to roll over and move off the edge of the bed. 

This evening after walking the dogs I came in she was on the floor in front of the clothes dryer, unable to get up. I could not lift her because she was dead weight. We had to phone my uncle Ron to help getting her up. Ron and I were able together to lift her onto a low stool and from there she was able to to be lifted up to her walker. After she was up, he stayed a few minutes to talk and visit until she felt better emotionally. He came up with the very good suggestion of getting the phone number of the nearest fire department so she could have that phone number ready next time we need help getting her up. 

Wednesday

Time for a rant.

I spent most of the day at the dining table, surfing Facebook repeatedly while Mother watched the news, game shows and daily TV like The Chew. Her first appointment with the occupational therapist canceled on her because the therapist has a child in the hospital. The second appointment of the day phoned to reset the time a bit later in the day.  Most of the day was spent waiting on different things. After Mother's therapy,  we went out for pedicures.  Then we had dinner before going home. 

Over dinner,  she brought up the inevitable subject of extending my stay with her. She said it was supposed to rain later in the week and it would be too dangerous for me to go home in bad weather.  She said there's no one to take care of her after I go home. I reminded  her that I already have plans to resume my life after the 27th and that the rest of the family would be back by then. I also mentioned that uncle Ron was on the mend and already driving again.

We went back to the house and fed the dogs, I phoned MonsterMustDie while I walked them. When I got back inside she was on the phone with Ron. She turns to me after the phone saying Ron told her I "posted" that I was leaving.  I  told her I only emailed the family yesterday to remind them when I needed to go home - on October 27 (and what she needs so they can plan accordingly ). My uncle seems to think I should stay with my mother indefinitely  (permanently).

Apparently my life means nothing to anyone but me.

Ongoing health problems

Advil hurts the kidneys.  Tylenol hurts the liver.  Mother is advised to avoid Advil. She is still trying to get an antibiotic prescription for a UTI she's had for weeks.  Her doctors aren't concerned about it, I suppose,  because she doesn't complain about constant pain - it only bothers her when she urinates.

Poop

The first thing I did this morning was clean dog poop off the floor of my mother's bedroom. After cleaning poop off the living room and sun room floor in the morning previously, I have been trying to convince my mother that the dogs should crated at night. She insists on having them in the bed with her at night. Yesterday she said she would close the bedroom door at night to keep the from jumping down and pooping in the house. Now, the dogs will pee or poop in her room rather than waiting for their morning walk. I can't force her to crate the dogs at night. There's nothing I can do here to change how she chooses to live. 

I feel like I am only enabling her at this point. I am counting the days until I can leave. Sunday, Sandy chuckled "You thought High Point was bad but now I'll bet you can't wait to go home." She is so right about that. Just when I think my life has reached an all time low, it got worse. I want out of here! 

Dogs

Sunday afternoon is my once a week chance to go into Atlanta from Kennesaw. It's the one day when there are no appointments for therapists, doctors, or medical procedures for my mother. This week I went down to East Atlanta Village to visit Sandy while she volunteered at Dogtober Fest, working at the charity raffle table. Charlie joined us at the end of the event and the three of us got to hang out together for a little while at the Flatiron bar before I had to head back to feed and walk dogs. 

Woke up this morning at 5:00 a.m. to a dog announcing two spots of poop in the living room. I cleaned the floor and took them out for a walk. Then I put them in their crate for the rest of the night.  Normally, they spend the night sleeping in bed with my mother until she wakes up in the morning. 

Well, now

Thankfully,  my brother phoned my mother last night to let her know the family is going to Italy.  I really was afraid they weren't going to tell her but,  at last, he did.
And now,  I expect that is  the last peep out of them until after their return.  I will absolutely not interrupt their vacation for anything. 

Tyranny of the Calender

I spent this morning listening to my mother cancel appoinments that she could easily make today just because she doesn't feel like going in. These are appoinments that are much easier to do with me driving her everywhere, taking her to the door, then parking the car by myself and picking her up at the door later. 

Then I walked the dogs and returned phone calls outside, where I could have a private, uninterrupted conversation.  

Now, she has filled Friday, the same day she knows MonsterMustDie is driving down from North Carolina to visit me, with appoinments all day. He will have to chase us down or kill time elsewhere until late in the day. 

Night Frights

So now,  my mother tells me that she can't stand for me to be out after dark.  She is afraid it is too dangerous for me to be out driving alone. 

So, here I sit.

Two more weeks of this to go and my sister-in-law still has not told her that their entire family is going to Italy on Friday.  Everyone will be gone for 10 days,  leaving me holding the bag.

Clothes Everywhere

She is concerned that she can't find hangers for all the things I washed and folded this week.

The fridge

Today's project was beginning to clean out the second refrigerator/freezer that my Mother has in her garage. Several things had burst open in it and the bottom has a pool of dark sugary goo that is taking lots of warm soapy water to dissolve enough to wipe out. I should have taken a photo of how full it was before I started. I am almost half way though it, trying to throw out as little as possible when everything should be tossed out. I found half gallon containers of juice expiration dated for 2011 that I poured down the drain. There was a burst wine bottle that looked like the cork had been shot out of if like a gun, which was probably the biggest part of the mess. There was an entire 6-pack of Sprite that was bulging with rounded tops about to pop.  

The amount of crazy hoarding here is frustrating. I am trying to tread lightly as possible while continuing to clean as much as I can. No one in my family knows what they are putting me through with this. She is sun downing every night and now she gets upset when I am out of her sight. If I make it through this month, I am never doing this again. 

Tired.So very tired.

Taking care of my mother, her house, and her dogs is a nonstop job.
I have run shopping errands, done a ton of laundry, assisted with shower and dressing, and walked both dogs several times today. I haven't had a shower myself since Monday morning. I also can't sleep well here baca use of the smell and heat.

My next task will be trying to clean the floors here. I don't set foot on the wooden floors without shoes on because they're so sticky.