Night Frights

So now,  my mother tells me that she can't stand for me to be out after dark.  She is afraid it is too dangerous for me to be out driving alone. 

So, here I sit.

Two more weeks of this to go and my sister-in-law still has not told her that their entire family is going to Italy on Friday.  Everyone will be gone for 10 days,  leaving me holding the bag.

Clothes Everywhere

She is concerned that she can't find hangers for all the things I washed and folded this week.

The fridge

Today's project was beginning to clean out the second refrigerator/freezer that my Mother has in her garage. Several things had burst open in it and the bottom has a pool of dark sugary goo that is taking lots of warm soapy water to dissolve enough to wipe out. I should have taken a photo of how full it was before I started. I am almost half way though it, trying to throw out as little as possible when everything should be tossed out. I found half gallon containers of juice expiration dated for 2011 that I poured down the drain. There was a burst wine bottle that looked like the cork had been shot out of if like a gun, which was probably the biggest part of the mess. There was an entire 6-pack of Sprite that was bulging with rounded tops about to pop.  

The amount of crazy hoarding here is frustrating. I am trying to tread lightly as possible while continuing to clean as much as I can. No one in my family knows what they are putting me through with this. She is sun downing every night and now she gets upset when I am out of her sight. If I make it through this month, I am never doing this again. 

Tired.So very tired.

Taking care of my mother, her house, and her dogs is a nonstop job.
I have run shopping errands, done a ton of laundry, assisted with shower and dressing, and walked both dogs several times today. I haven't had a shower myself since Monday morning. I also can't sleep well here baca use of the smell and heat.

My next task will be trying to clean the floors here. I don't set foot on the wooden floors without shoes on because they're so sticky.

Scarves

Just some of the scarves she has in mounds.  There are also drawers completely filled with slips or completely filled under pants, ect.

Toasty

My mother keeps her place warm and there isn't a window I can open in the bedroom.  I'm just laying on the bed sweating and listening to her TV in the den. Not gonna have much sleep here.

Jam Packed Here

Mother has more than a few pairs of shoes.  She has a gazillion of everything.

post weekend

We are back in North Carolina after another whirlwind trip to Atlanta. We stayed with friends in the old neighborhood again while we visited my mother and attended the wedding of friends.

Mother seems to be doing much better physically. She got two units of blood on Thursday and another two units on Friday. She also had her dialysis treatments in the hospital without any worries about transportation. By Sunday, her doctor had given her a lighter sling to keep her arm in rather than the tight, stiff one that held her arm so close to her  body.  She wants to go home. She is terrified of going back to the rehab center. She does not want to be in the hospital. She is having evening anxiety attacks every day now, which sounds like something I've heard described as "sundowning" in the past. She feels abandoned and under informed by her doctors.

All this, and my brother and sister-in-law have not yet told her about their trip to Italy. I told them she needs to know before they leave on the trip because I do not want to be the one who breaks the news to her and she needs to know that I'm planning to take care of her while they're out of the country. I got a voice mail from my uncle Ron while I was in the shower this morning. He sounded tired and concerned. The message is just "Give me a call back. I need to talk with you about your mother. I don't understand what's going on." He has knee surgery scheduled in the morning and I know she is very worried about it. I've left a voice mail reply. Then I phoned my sister-in-law. I haven't heard back from either of them yet.

In other news -

Nicky and Sean's wedding vow ceremony was beautiful, sweet, and funny. It was a huge collaboration of friends putting the event together in a very personal and creative way. Her family were able to be there and they are just as funny and sweet as she is. With the exception of the wedding party, the couple have cut out drinking and any other unhealthy habits and are actively trying to conceive their first child. I will look forward to future announcements/progress reports on that family project.

More Family Crisis

Got a call from my mother a little while ago. She is going back into the hospital today.  My uncle Ron was with her as she spoke to me.  He drove her to Kennestone hospital after her blood platelet count dropped dangerously low this morning.  She was not in a room yet when she phoned but promised me that she or Ron would let me know what room she's in. We're planning to visit her on Saturday before going to Nicky and Sean's wedding in the afternoon.

I phoned my sister-in-law to discuss whatever she knew about the situation. She said Joyce, Ron's wife had phoned her to let her know they were headed to the hospital earlier. She was planning to go there as soon as she was finished at work.

Serrano Chiles

Wondering what I should do with so many Chile peppers now. This mini harvest will probably not last long and I don't want to waste any of them.

High Point motto

You can't get there from here.

The End Of The World again... part 1

My life is once again on hold. Possibly over as I know it again, this time due to family situations.

It started last Thursday with a text from my sister-in-law: 

"Hi Jules. (my brother, my neice & her husband) and I are going to Itally Oct 16-26th. (My uncle) is having his knee operated on sometime in October. Your Mom does not know we are going so please don't tell her. She always gets sic when we go somewhere. With that said, can you come down and take you Mom to her doctor appointments and dialysis? I will need your help. Taking care of your Mom is wearing on me. I would appreciate it so much. "
"(My neice) said you can stay at her house...  in Brookhaven. You'll like it."

First, if I stayed at my niece's house that would imply I would have to vacate it immediately upon their return that night, making the 5 to 6-hour drive back by myself, exhausted. This is the only accomodation being offered. Fortunately, I asked my friends B&G in Buckhead if I could stay at their place a couple of weeks in October and they said I was welcome to, so that problem was immediately solved.

Me: "Phone me ASAP so we can discuss details."

Sister-In-Law:

"At concert with (niece). Call 2 morrow. " 

No phone call came the next day. I tried calling her with no answer. Then I got another text at 8:30 pm :

"Ok. (Uncle's) surgery for his knee is October 6th. Your Mom has to wear her sling 3 more weeks. Not sure if that means she has to stay in rehab or if she can go home. She is working on using her cane."

This means I would need to be in Georgia, taking care of my mother from October 6 through the end of the 26th at the earliest. I think I might as well stay through the end of the month and at least get to be around friends at Halloween, since now I will have no time to make Halloween plans for the house or other activities that I had wanted to plan (like a meet-the-neighbors pumpkin carving party).

Meanwhile, I have already turned down two possible temp jobs because I will be out of town. October is also the only time High Point NC is actually alive - during the autumn market week - so I can't look for any gigs during Market. I will not be able to free-lance without my computer, a fast WiFi connection, and all of my stuff (books, reference material, photo equipment, art supplies?) That also brings up the question of who is paying for this? No one expects to pay me anything for this. They just figure that because I have no full-time job, I have all the time in the world and no financial worries because MonsterMustDie is some sort of sugardaddy (He absolutely is not!). And yet, it is a task I can't say no to because there is absolutely no one who will be available or who wants to help my mother. I am not sure I can take care of her by myself.



... help ...

Labor Day Weekend

For Labor Day weekend, MonsterMustDie and I drove down to Georgia in his car to visit my mother. We were there just two days. We got into Atlanta on Friday and left very early Sunday morning because he wanted to have a day of relaxation before returning to work on Tuesday. As a result, it was the usual whirlwind tour, staying with friends in the old neighborhood. We did stop into IKEA on the way home for new white shelves to replace the white shelves we already have in the mud room. The logic of all this escapes me but it's his house, his money.

We were able to have dinner with Chaz and Sandra on Friday night when we got in and, of course, we enjoyed the Company of Mr. Bunny and C. while we stayed in their beautiful mid-century modern home. Saturday was spent with my mother, visiting her at the rehab she is having to live at while recovering from a broken arm. The visit went a lot better than I thought it would. She was thrilled to see us. We took her to and from her dialysis treatment that day as well, giving my brother and his wife a break so they could have some fun on saturday (probably attending a game or some other sports event). It was easy for the two of us to move her and get her to treatment on time but I can see how it would be difficult for just one small person like myself to do it. She was on her best behavior the entire day. The people working on her at the dialysis center were kind, smart, and patient. The rehab facility seemed to be a bit chaotic. She would love to get a shampoo and shower. The most she can do is a sponge bath every other day. There is no working shower or bath in her room. Showers are really out of the question now because she has the port in her chest again for dialysis because the broken arm is the same one that had the device implanted in it. The port must stay absolutely dry because of the high risk of infection.

Every other free moment was spent antique shopping by MonsterMustDie, who said he needed to shop every time we leave home to try to make the trip pay for itself.

dark wedding

Last night, I dreamed I was working for Ozzy & Sharon Ozborn and their family as some sort of personal assistant. I also occasionally worked as an extra guitarist and photographer. They were encouraging me to put a body of work together for an art show. I did a bit of everything for the family. Ozzy gave me a big black smart car that I could drive or just say "Ok Google" to take me to anywhere I needed to be. Their youngest child (or maybe a guitarist child) was getting married and I was working on arrangements for that and guests, etc. There was a charmingly strange teenage girl who I was sometimes in charge of who would tell odd family stories, like how her parents would hide her when they were touring because they were afraid she'd be kidnapped.

Lots of black things, coffee, cake, and smoked salmon. I also had a big closet with lots of leather and silks and other rock & roll clothing, out of which I was trying to put together an outfit for the event.