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Wednesday, September 30, 2015

More Family Crisis

Got a call from my mother a little while ago. She is going back into the hospital today.  My uncle Ron was with her as she spoke to me.  He drove her to Kennestone hospital after her blood platelet count dropped dangerously low this morning.  She was not in a room yet when she phoned but promised me that she or Ron would let me know what room she's in. We're planning to visit her on Saturday before going to Nicky and Sean's wedding in the afternoon.

I phoned my sister-in-law to discuss whatever she knew about the situation. She said Joyce, Ron's wife had phoned her to let her know they were headed to the hospital earlier. She was planning to go there as soon as she was finished at work.

Serrano Chiles

Wondering what I should do with so many Chile peppers now. This mini harvest will probably not last long and I don't want to waste any of them.

Monday, September 28, 2015

High Point motto

You can't get there from here.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

The End Of The World again... part 1

My life is once again on hold. Possibly over as I know it again, this time due to family situations.

It started last Thursday with a text from my sister-in-law: 

"Hi Jules. (my brother, my neice & her husband) and I are going to Itally Oct 16-26th. (My uncle) is having his knee operated on sometime in October. Your Mom does not know we are going so please don't tell her. She always gets sic when we go somewhere. With that said, can you come down and take you Mom to her doctor appointments and dialysis? I will need your help. Taking care of your Mom is wearing on me. I would appreciate it so much. "
"(My neice) said you can stay at her house...  in Brookhaven. You'll like it."

First, if I stayed at my niece's house that would imply I would have to vacate it immediately upon their return that night, making the 5 to 6-hour drive back by myself, exhausted. This is the only accomodation being offered. Fortunately, I asked my friends B&G in Buckhead if I could stay at their place a couple of weeks in October and they said I was welcome to, so that problem was immediately solved.

Me: "Phone me ASAP so we can discuss details."

Sister-In-Law:

"At concert with (niece). Call 2 morrow. " 

No phone call came the next day. I tried calling her with no answer. Then I got another text at 8:30 pm :
"Ok. (Uncle's) surgery for his knee is October 6th. Your Mom has to wear her sling 3 more weeks. Not sure if that means she has to stay in rehab or if she can go home. She is working on using her cane."

This means I would need to be in Georgia, taking care of my mother from October 6 through the end of the 26th at the earliest. I think I might as well stay through the end of the month and at least get to be around friends at Halloween, since now I will have no time to make Halloween plans for the house or other activities that I had wanted to plan (like a meet-the-neighbors pumpkin carving party).

Meanwhile, I have already turned down two possible temp jobs because I will be out of town. October is also the only time High Point NC is actually alive - during the autumn market week - so I can't look for any gigs during Market. I will not be able to free-lance without my computer, a fast WiFi connection, and all of my stuff (books, reference material, photo equipment, art supplies?) That also brings up the question of who is paying for this? No one expects to pay me anything for this. They just figure that because I have no full-time job, I have all the time in the world and no financial worries because MonsterMustDie is some sort of sugardaddy (He absolutely is not!). And yet, it is a task I can't say no to because there is absolutely no one who will be available or who wants to help my mother. I am not sure I can take care of her by myself.



... help ...

Wednesday, September 09, 2015

Labor Day Weekend

For Labor Day weekend, MonsterMustDie and I drove down to Georgia in his car to visit my mother. We were there just two days. We got into Atlanta on Friday and left very early Sunday morning because he wanted to have a day of relaxation before returning to work on Tuesday. As a result, it was the usual whirlwind tour, staying with friends in the old neighborhood. We did stop into IKEA on the way home for new white shelves to replace the white shelves we already have in the mud room. The logic of all this escapes me but it's his house, his money.

We were able to have dinner with Chaz and Sandra on Friday night when we got in and, of course, we enjoyed the Company of Mr. Bunny and C. while we stayed in their beautiful mid-century modern home. Saturday was spent with my mother, visiting her at the rehab she is having to live at while recovering from a broken arm. The visit went a lot better than I thought it would. She was thrilled to see us. We took her to and from her dialysis treatment that day as well, giving my brother and his wife a break so they could have some fun on saturday (probably attending a game or some other sports event). It was easy for the two of us to move her and get her to treatment on time but I can see how it would be difficult for just one small person like myself to do it. She was on her best behavior the entire day. The people working on her at the dialysis center were kind, smart, and patient. The rehab facility seemed to be a bit chaotic. She would love to get a shampoo and shower. The most she can do is a sponge bath every other day. There is no working shower or bath in her room. Showers are really out of the question now because she has the port in her chest again for dialysis because the broken arm is the same one that had the device implanted in it. The port must stay absolutely dry because of the high risk of infection.

Every other free moment was spent antique shopping by MonsterMustDie, who said he needed to shop every time we leave home to try to make the trip pay for itself.

Tuesday, September 08, 2015

dark wedding

Last night, I dreamed I was working for Ozzy & Sharon Ozborn and their family as some sort of personal assistant. I also occasionally worked as an extra guitarist and photographer. They were encouraging me to put a body of work together for an art show. I did a bit of everything for the family. Ozzy gave me a big black smart car that I could drive or just say "Ok Google" to take me to anywhere I needed to be. Their youngest child (or maybe a guitarist child) was getting married and I was working on arrangements for that and guests, etc. There was a charmingly strange teenage girl who I was sometimes in charge of who would tell odd family stories, like how her parents would hide her when they were touring because they were afraid she'd be kidnapped.

Lots of black things, coffee, cake, and smoked salmon. I also had a big closet with lots of leather and silks and other rock & roll clothing, out of which I was trying to put together an outfit for the event.

Friday, September 04, 2015

Notes to self over dinner

Must watch all episodes of Rick & Morty.
Must watch Mr. Robot.
Geek and Sundry
Push Bullet

Wednesday, September 02, 2015

self portrait with Ellie Cat

Herbicide treatment

The neighbors across the street had their mutual driveway sprayed with herbicide. 

 
I can smell it across the street, inside my house. 

Tuesday, September 01, 2015

Family Drama

Most of this week has been a series of phone calls to my sister-in-law and my mother. They are trying to coordinate her care and it has become apparent, as my mother's home is again so filthy that it is uninhabitable, she really needs more help physically with the day-to-day tasks like cleaning, laundry, cooking and - yes - driving. The two west highland terriers that my mother has need to be rehomed, preferably together. Part of the reason the house is in such a horrible state is because she can not walk them and they are no longer (if they ever were previously) house broken. Every bit of rug is urine stained again and the garage floor is covered in old newspaper and feces. The dogs have to go.

My sister-in-law has done the necessary research to find a Westie rescue group who can take them. Hopefully, the dogs can go to a much better place together - a place with a yard and/or with humans who can take them for walks and keep them groomed.

Meanwhile, my mother has phoned asking me to come to Kennesaw, Georgia, obviously leaving everything and MonsterMustDie behind to take care of her dogs for the remainder of the month she is in rehab and beyond. A house far away from anything and anyone that now would be even more isolated than here in High Point where I at least have internet service and working computers and WiFi. I have been thinking of how I could help her in a realistic method. The best I can come up with is to come down to her place, spend a couple of days at a time cleaning while staying somewhere else like a friend's place an hour away, and taking the dogs back to North Carolina with me. We have a house cat and no fence and the dogs are not house broken, so they would have to stay on leads in the back yard during the day and I could crate them in kennels at night. That might work out for them for a while. Maybe I could eventually housebreak them. Maybe we could eventually get some sort of pen or fence for the dogs to hang out in. My mother actually wants me to live with her in a sort of Grey Gardens scenario. Not going to happen. There is no way to make it work.

I phoned my sister-in-law to tell her about this. As it turns out, the idea to have me live with my mother came from my sister-in-law. I said she probably should have have thought that one through before she spoke.

Later, she phoned me back to say my brother finally spoke with my mother. That is a huge step for him. He really does not speak to anyone in the family and, according to his wife, has nearly as hard a time dealing with our mother as I do. He told her I could not move down to live in her house and the dogs needed to be rehomed. "You're probably out of the Will now, but we'll take care of you."

I phoned my mother last night to talk with her, dreading the conversation I was expecting.  Oddly enough, there was no mention of the dogs. She only talked about how awful the rehab facility was. Then she ended the conversation with "Take care of yourself." and hung up on me.
That went better than I thought it would.


UPDATE:
My uncle has now phoned my sister-in-law to say that the dogs must stay living with my mother. He is on board with her in the idea that I should be living alone with her in her flat to take care of the dogs indefinitely.  This can not happen but both of them will not accept that. This will be an interesting Labor Day weekend coming up. Now, she is keeping the dogs and the younger family members are expected to take care of her and the dogs at home.