consciousness

I really don't seem to pay attention to anything around me anymore. I think I'm spending too much time inside myself. When I'm not worrying about things I feel helpless about, I'm just going through the moves without looking at anyone or giving anything much thought.

adventures in retail

I spend a lot of time in my isolated corner of the dress shop looking at what customers are wearing. 

12-19-2023

I saw a man wearing a t-shirt with a grey & black US flag on the front saying "Live Free" and the words on back say "The final variant is communism".

I have no idea what that means.  

A couple of days later, I saw a T-shirt featuring the US black variant with a blue stripe that said "they shall be known as the children of God." 

dealing with doctors

MonsterMustDie had his second meeting with his doctor. I brought my notebook to write thing's down. 

I was not going to try to shake his doctor's hand or even speak to him at all after last visit's limp handshake until he came up to me and held out his hand to me. I reached out and got another limp hand from the doctor and no eye contact. He might as well have asked me to pull his finger, as how stupid it made me feel to try to shake his hand. 

The good news from last week's PET scan is the cancer has not spread outside the prostate. 

Then, his doctor gave us two options, speaking rapidly,  that he could do surgery, which has a small chance of permanent incontinence but can also be followed with radiation if necessary or do radiation, which might not work and is very difficult or impossible to follow with surgery. Then he wanted to schedule surgery while MonsterMustDie was still trying to understand what he said.  Instead,  he opted to have a consultation with the radiologist before making a decision.  We go back in four weeks.  

tests

MonsterMustDie had a PET scan this afternoon.  The medical facility he went to was, conveniently, just a few blocks up the street.  They might have results by tomorrow but he'd rather wait until his next doctor's appointment to know anything.  

Strange night at the dress shop. The cold seems to have driven the crazies from the sidewalk into the store and there's hardly any customers here tonight.