sharing too much?

 Worried that my workplace is running out of luck health-wise. Two weeks ago the girlfriend of the son of my nearest coworker had her entire family test positive for Covid after Thanksgiving. My coworker and his wife both got tested and came out negative.

But this week at work, someone thought it would be a great idea for a holiday potluck tomorrow and as I was leaving tonight, one of the production workers exiting with me said she was on her way to a funeral immediately after work. None of the production people downstair wear masks or practice social distancing. I think I'm going to have to shower with disinfectant and burn all my clothing when I get home from work tomorrow.

Adventures in Online Retail Therapy

 I am isolated here in High Point, North Carolina but that's actually not an unusual feeling for me here. These quarantine times make the experience common for more people. The shops are too packed with people unmasked who refuse to believe Covid19 is more than a common cold. Outside, the only signs of life are large construction projects taking place on the roads that promise good transportation in the future. 

Sometimes I get too anxious or depressed and I give in to the temptation of online shopping, the traditional entertainment of the women of my people, people who no longer speak or write to me anymore. My friends - my chosen family - are still there and still constant and I am thankful every day for them. 

This week I gave into temptation and purchased the NPR wine club package. The box of wine arrived today and it looks like a year's worth of vino. It's a lot of wine, all with labels that mention NPR and various shows they have. The box they came in had a Virgin logo on it. It's probably good that I didn't know they were the source or I might not have purchased it. I love you, Richard Branson, but Virgin Wines is not your best project. Still, I will remain open minded and sample everything over the course of the following months before judging them. 

on the mend

 I am finally feeling better today. The oddest thing sticking around is a sore head. Not a headache but a head that is actually sore around my temples, jaws, and forehead. It's a weird sensation like I've been in a fight. Otherwise, things are good - I'm eating and drinking again. I'm especially glad to be able to enjoy a cup of coffee and a solid lunch. Yesterday evening, MonsterMustDie picked up a light dinner at Little Tokoyo of salad, miso soup, and a handroll, which was a very satisfying. I actually saved the yet-undressed salad for lunch today -I added the ginger dressing and put a chopped fried chicken tender on top for a very filling meal. 

It's sunny now. I should probably go outside to move my body and get things flowing. 

double plus unwell today

 I had the first of two shingles vaccinations as well as a flu vaccine a couple of months ago with very few side effects other than lethargy for a few days. Last Tuesday I got the second of the two-part shingles vaccine and it kicked my ass. By Wednesday afternoon, I had to leave work early. I took a hot soak and put myself to bed for the rest of the day. I had really strange dreams of my body and the pain it was in being in layers and sections like a digital file. I've spent most of today in bed with an incredible headache and inability to eat. Even my teeth hurt. I hope I'm on the upswing tomorrow. 

kitchen renovation is proceeding

We just had a new countertop installed this afternoon. After they left, I saw the new range hood we installed yesterday now has a dent in it.

Yesterday,  Monstermustdie pulled out the small cabinet in the kitchen and discovered a long-hiddn electrical outlet behind it. He says he will cut an opening inside the cabinet to access it. 

You should see how the decided to install our new sink.

The least he could do

 Today is demolition day for the old countertop and tile in the bathroom. The stone company is scheduled to install the new countertop on Thursday. I am paying for all of this with my savings. All of it. The contractor doing the demo work today is supposed to be here between 8:30 and 9:30 AM.  

At 9:00 AM, I see a white truck back up the driveway and call to MonsterMustDie that the contractor is here. As it turns out, this is not the contractor. It is a man from the City Of High Point who tells MonsterMustDie that our house is scheduled for disconnection of water and electricity by High Point Utilities today. 

His circus. His Monkeys. 

It was a pretty good Tuesday

They delivered the new dishwasher and took the old one away. The new dishwasher is sitting in the middle of our kitchen now, waiting to be installed with a new water filter system, stainless steel sink and disposal unit after we have the new countertop in.  

Tuesday, MonsterMustDie and I went to the Greensboro Arboretum park and had a very good walk and look around most of the park. I was scoping areas for a picnic later. There are just a few tables with benches in a shady area behind the office at the entrance but there are several grassy lawns where people are allowed to spread out blankets and lounge. The park looks good with new plantings and freshly mowed grass and the weather is just beginning to cool before fall sets in. 

After the park, we stopped into Target CVS where, at the urging of MonsterMustDie, I finally got my first ever flu shot and the first part of the shingles vaccine. Mission accomplished. 

When I got home, there were two packages for me - one in the mail from California and one on my doorstep from Atlanta. Both of them contained surprise delights from women I love. 

Wednesday, I spent the day with no energy but otherwise feeling fine with no tenderness where I had the injections. The lethargy was the only vague symptom of the shots and that might have just been my crazy sleep parterns for all I know. 

Thursday, I was back to my usual spinning around the house bored and trying to avoid  impulse buying online or driving my car too much before I take it in for its regular maintenance, which is due now. I have to mind the upkeep on that for my splendid Kia warranty.  

Now I need to create a purpose for myself today. The news is filled with 9-11 memorials this morning which is, ironically, a welcome reprieve from too much political madness. 

Home Improvement During The. Pandemic

Last week was extremely stressful for me between scams by bots trying to pose as job interviews and receiving a damaged new sink that was not in stock anywhere else nearby. I decided to completely ignore and kill all message streams from the bot, while saving all documentation of the event. We were able to return the damaged sink to our local Home Depot and then we traveled to the store in Charlotte, NC, where we found a match for it in stock - two, infact. After inspecting the sink in store, we bought it and came straight back to High Point with it. One more thing ready to go. 

MonsterMustDie has decided to replace the dilapidated awning in back of the house. A contractor for the awning company showed up unannounced at our house this morning at 9:00 a.m. to look at the old one and take measurements for a quote. He brought fabric samples that we decided on. MonsterMustDie has decided to (stupid but predictably) keep the old frame that keeps being blown off the side of the house and is just dangling now to save a little money. (This always means spending 2 - 3 times as much eventually.) 

The quote for the new awning cover is $750.00. The man who came to our house had a flimsy paper mask that he kept pulled down to his chin. MonsterMustDie wore a mask during the entire meeting. I am not happy with the man only having a mask as a gesture but neither of us said anything because we were afraid of starting a fight. People in High Point are mostly right-wing and very nasty and aggressive even when unprovoked. We just tried to keep our distance and wore our own masks. I am leaving this entirely up to MonsterMustDie because it is the one thing he is paying for on his own. His circus. His monkeys.  

I am paying for the entire kitchen repair from my savings because the current kitchen is dysfunctional and I believe I should do it now because I anticipate my savings slowly dissolving, without any future income, leaving me with no ability in the future to make things work here. I probably have more money now than I will ever have again in my life and I need to make an investment in the future now.

sharing or not

The good stuff:  

We had a socially distanced visit with my half sister and her family in Charlotte, NC yesterday. We went into the local IKEA, all masked and most of the customers were masked. I only saw one middle-aged white man and a hispanic grandmother without masks. My sister and her family had never shopped at an IKEA store before and this is the first place they've lived near one. They seemed to enjoy looking for ideas there for their new house. 
After that, we went to eat at a local restaurant, the Red Rock, where we sat outside on a back porch that we had all to ourselves in the shade. Then they invited us over to see the new house and what they've done with it so far. We talked a while about Covid-19 and it's affect on young children. She's a pediatric ICU nurse. We talked about what little we know about family health histories. She told MonsterMustDie and myself that Gwen, our birth mother, liked to eat oysters. She died of colon cancer that had metastasized. We looked at the back yard and talked about gardening. MonsterMustDie looked at a couple of pieces of art in the house, a small lithograph and a bronze statue, and agreed to do some research on them.

Today, MonsterMustDie identified the artist and small print and saw that it had an auction value in the neighborhood of $1000. Good choice on that one. He has not yet identified the statue.

The bad stuff: 

The low point for me today was hearing that Phil, the friend MonsterMustDie is trying to start a business with and is pining for most of the time, has decided to let his two oldest children play soccer now. They had a game today. I think this is a very bad decision but I know they have a new baby and are no doubt feeling overwhelmed trying to keep up with the older two children while his wife is still recovering from a Cesarean birth. Phil and his wife are young, in their early 30's. I don't see any way their family can avoid exposure to Covid19 and infection that he could pass on to MonsterMustDie, who would probably become very seriously ill and would likely pass it on to me inevitably.

MonsterMustDie would never give up spending time with Phil and seems to take my concerns over it as a bit hysterical. Well, I don't want my life ruined more than it already could be by his carelessness or Phil's desperation. I can only beg him to please have both of them wear adequate masks around each other and wash their hands and wear gloves when possible. I can't police that, though.

life in quarantine

I organized a Zoom meeting for Women's Night friends last night, using National Martini Day as a theme. Nick & Aud, Penguin Pam, Mr and Mrs Lounge, along with me and MonsterMustDie conversed for two hours from our four separate quarantine locations. I've been considering themes and events for Zoom meetings with friends because I don't want to burn people out with my own neediness for human connection and/or activity.

I've kinda let myself down by not taking all of this time to concentrate on learning a new skill. After hearing me say I wish I had learned how to sew, Karen gave me an old sewing machine a month ago. I finally got it repaired this week for $110.00. Parts are everywhere and I need to find a manual online. Then I need to find online tutorials and scrap materials around here for trying to teach myself sewing for a hobby. So there's that.

Afterwards, MonsterMustDie watched Captain Marvel and Avengers Infinity War for the second time this week. He watched it just a couple of days before and had no memory of doing so - he  couldn't even remember the punch lines or the final easter egg in Captain Marvel. I went to bed before he started watching the Avengers movie again. This is deeply troubling to me and I really hope the memory lapses are because of his heavy drinking lately. There were two days last week that he actually had a significant hangover, which is a rarity for him, because he drank himself silly.

When he  completely loses a day in memory so soon, my darkest fear is that it is a foreshadowing of Alzheimer's Disease, which took his mother and aunt. I have absolutely no way to deal with him becoming disabled by it, if he does. We were living on an island of social isolation here in North Carolina before the quarantine and it's become so much worse since the loss of both of the jobs I had here. Now, I have no income or healthcare. This is a mostly lower class blue collar area where everything is substandard.

morning sickness

I woke up with a headache and nausea this morning for no apparent reason.

Last night's dinner was a repeat of last week - chicken and chopped salad of greens, bell pepper, and tomatoes. MonsterMustDie feels fine today although, a couple of days ago, he had mild IBS symptoms that are common for him. I've taken an Excedrin with juice and now I'm having my first cup of coffee.

So much is going on out in our world this week, I wonder if the illness is just a sign of stress.
Or it could be something I ate. Or the dry air from turning on the AC yesterday. Or the plague we are in quarantine from.

Dinner and mosquitos

Dinner tonight was chicken fingers I dredged in flour & cooked in the skillet along with a fresh salad of chopped vegetables and lettuce. 

Today the mosquitoes have officially arrived in the backyard here. 

still raining

It's still raining every day here in North Carolina. A lot of the mulch has washed away from the back yard. I knew we would be tired of this wet weather when I saw the storm map and the 10-day forecast last week but I also know we will miss some of this rain by the time everything is dried out in the Summer months. Nothing ever feels completely dry now and clear, sunny days seem distant.
I had a nice long conversation with Cindi, who called to check in about my condo in Atlanta. She's an old friend, former neighbor, and my real estate agent in charge of my condo now. So we talked about my renter and whether I would be willing to let his girlfriend and her dog move in with him and how much I should add to the rent to cover possible damage created by pets if that happens. I don't want to lose the tenant I have so if we can keep everyone happy while not sacrificing the space that still feels like home to me, I'll be happy.

She has a new cat now that an old cat does not seem to be adjusting to very well - or he could just be showing signs of his advanced years now because he is a 17-year-old cat. Their new cat is a young tortoiseshell who has a lot more energy than the old guy.
Her husband, like mine, is out of work now but he's quite tech-savvy so both of us believe he will find more work soon that he can do remotely.
Both of our households have been doing a lot of gardening while we are sheltering in place during this time of quarantine but while that's not much an option this week while the rain is coming down every day. I had purchased a new additional raised bed planter, a 4'x4' two-part stacking kit, but the Amazon seller only sent half of my order and refunded me for half the price. Now MonsterMustDie needs to make it work somehow. This, I swear, was the last thing I will spend my rapidly-disappearing money on for the yard.

MonsterMustDie went out grocery-shopping and treasure-hunting earlier today. He's been out treasure-hunting several times a week now that all the antique malls are open. He's even had a couple of small sales at the antique mall here, where he has a booth. Most of his sales are still online only. The antiques market is a very strange thing to me. So much of it seems to be like gambling on what collectors might want. It's all unnecessary spending for consumers so there is no judging things by necessity or usability. It's all trends. On top of that, a lot of it is dealers buying things from each other to resell. Total folly in my mind, hoping to score a wild prize. Still, he's now supporting our household with it.

I had a telephone job interview this afternoon for a position selling insurance, which feels like something I am completely unsuited for because I do not have a salesman personality. I might still try it if I can talk myself into it but the very thought of it is filling me with anxiety. It would be something I believe I would only have to do remotely, by phone, but there are classes to get licensed for it which I am totally unwilling to pay for if they expect me to do that and the job is commission-only with no benefits. It's just a step better than no prospects whatsoever, which is what I have now.

social creature in captivity

The Wettening

There is a tropical storm running up the east coast this week. It rained hard last night. Forecast is for rain all week, including harder rain and thunderstorms tonight. Power went out here for a few hours but everything in the fridge looks fine. Here's hoping we have no long power failures here. The thing about continuing wet weather and power outages combined means there are no alternative cooking methods like backyard grilling here at Casa WereMonster. So far, I am thankful that my food-making ability is still intact. Gotta cook that chicken and duck breast I have in the freezer before anything bad happens.
I got up and walked around the house to check things just long enough to poke myself in the left eye with a wood dowel propped up in the back mud room. Checking the damage when I got up this morning, I am pleased to say it's just a tiny scratch on the side of my nose and a slight bruising in the corner of that eye. I'm very glad I didn't do more damage to myself.
MonsterMustDie is about to go out on what has been daily errands to the antique mall and store. I suspect he does it for a bit of privacy and alone time that I can't blame him for. I nag him to wear a mask and please wash his hands coming back into the house every time. He has nearly abandoned wearing gloves at this point. It really bothered me yesterday when we ran to the grocery store together and the first thing he did outside the car, without gloves, was grab a shopping cart that had not yet been wiped down and brought it into the store to shop with. He's acting out his frustration a bit these days. I also have to beg him to place things on the floor as he brings them into the house rather than putting them up on the kitchen countertop - my food prep area - as soon as he walks in. I wipe the countertops down often but it's still a bad habit.

Last night, in prep for the power or internet possibly going out, I downloaded the 1st season of What We Do In The Darkness and some favorite old StarTrek episodes to my laptop just so we'd have some entertainment if either or both went out. I've still got a lot of iTunes  credit that transfers to purchases on Apple music, TV, and iBooks - another thing to be grateful for. Now, I just need to find a good rechargeable battery to add extra life to the laptop for long periods between charges. I am trying to find any "juice box" we might have laying around to charge. We don't have any good batteries but we have a few swag gifts laying around here.

a good night's sleep

In a moment of weakness, we agreed to a bit of risky behavior and met up with Karen and Bob at their house in Greensboro to hang out by their backyard fire and eat pizza. We ended up sitting inside to eat, which was a bit uncomfortably close for social distancing but we did our best. Then we sat outdoors for a long time talking about everything - politics, work, family, public behavior that Karen or MonsterMustDie had observed when they were out running errands. We tried to avoid stress-inducing topics of conversation like politics but they inevitably crept in for brief moments. MonsterMustDie scolded me afterwards for taking too big a risk by breaking rules on social distancing. I couldn't disagree with him but, for whatever reason, I slept better than I've slept for a long time last night. It was my first good solid sleep in a while. I really think it was from the stimulation of having other human beings to talk to and activities to participate in. I hope I don't end up regretting the trip outside but it made me happy.

We've been doing these small cheats on a regular basis and they have both tested negative for virus antibodies. We have been entirely to ourselves except for MonsterMustDie's regular trips to Phil's to work in the garage. He's also starting to go out treasure-hunting again and I can't prevent him from going out on a regular basis for those two activities.

life in the void

I've been lonely and crazy-bored ever since moving to North Carolina. Constant twittering existential angst is my normal mode and I have not grown to enjoy the silence. Most days, I mourn the dead brain cells and atrophed creative mind I used to have. I am lucky enough to have made friends with two very lovely people who live just 19 miles away in Greensboro. She is an artist and her husband is an engineer. They interface very well with us but now this quarantine life has stopped most of our contact with them. We've pushed the envelope a couple of times and, at a safe distance, gotten together with them in our backyard to hang out and chat by a fire and show them MonsterMustDie's latest home project, a Japanese garden.

Most people I know are in Atlanta, working remotely or in reduced hours. I am completely without work or activities now. All of the things I wanted to have time to do - ceramics and studio classes, repairs and renovations on the kitchen and bathrooms of this house, require places and services that are not available now. My brain is not made for online courses where I have no interaction with other human beings to keep me alert. Sleep is weird these days. Most nights I can't go to bed until after midnight and dreams are usually vivid collages of mundane things I do all day. Sometime I dream of people who are dead. Sometimes I dream of ideas for movies or other projects that I can't make alone. Cooking is frustrating when we don't eat the same things. I give MonsterMustDie has priority use of the TV to avoid conflict and we don't like the same shows usually. He spends his evenings watching nothing other than Japanese animation and old SciFi that he's seen dozens of times. I like some of that but I can't stand seeing the same thing all the time. He fills his days between the new garden project, selling antiques online (the only income in the house now), and far too much time on Facebook getting angrier at the world outside.

I spend most of my days cleaning house, making odd lists, shopping online, and trying to stay out of the way.

The highlight of today for me was lunch. I had a bit of salmon with a honey mustard sauce and a nice arrugula salad.

food friends holidays

Monday, May 4th, was the StarWars May the Fourth Be With You geek holiday. Because MonsterMustDie was busy with his online shops most of the day, we did not spend the entire day on a StarWars marathon. Instead, we ended our day by watching the final movie The Rise Of Skywalker.
I had tried to schedule an online conversation with a couple of friends for the early evening but no one showed up, explaining last minute errands or simply being in a very bad head-space.
For dinner, I made orzo + feta + spinach with sliced cherry tomatoes on top and a lemon juice & olive oil dressing. 

Tuesday, May 5th, I wanted to have the Atlanta tradition of dinner from an Irish Pub (we got to Mexican restaurants on Saint Patrick's Day) but the only local pub here did not have their act together for ordering pickup online. I could not even find a complete menu posted anywhere for them so I took a look at DoorDash and found the Mexican restaurant closest to us was taking orders for delivery.
While we waited for dinner, MonsterMustDie prepared a margarita for me and both of us joined in on a Zoom meetup for the Art+Tech group. This was the first of the formerly monthly meetings we had online and I'm happy with the small success of it. We can do better next time but we had enough people participating for a good conversation.

Tonight, we've scheduled a different conversation with friends in Atlanta online that I hope works out. Now, we always have the question of what format to choose, which depends on the length of the meeting, the technical ability of participants, and who aligns themselves with what services or platforms.

waiting for the end of the world

I'm actually trying to postpone the end of the world as long as possible, rather than tapping my foot waiting for everything to explode into a thermonuclear fireball, because I don't feel like I'm anywhere near the end of my own personal possibility.

With all these weeks in quarantine and unemployed, I hoped I would have learned a new skill online or made a lot of art or at least organized my office. I did make my office a bit more compact and the pile of paperwork on my desk is now mostly gone and put away where it belongs. I am completely uninspired to work on art to the point that I don't see any stupid object around that I want to dryly sketch or have any idea I can think of a way to clearly illustrate. I really don't feel free to create anything here because my office is the only place I can do anything personal and it feels like an empty cell. Working outside of the house was my only, sad, escape from this place. The person I live with does not even eat the same type of food that I do most of the time.

I don't know why I haven't decided what online courses I can try yet. I look at so many and they seem to be an attempt, for me, to work for someone else who is never going to hire anyone over 45 or 50 and it'll just be another skill I never use and is just left to atrophy in my brain. But learning something would be a constructive activity, hopefully as satisfying as playing online games with this old iMac.

Just before going into isolation, I lost my job when the company I worked at decided to let everyone go at once. I haven't been able to successfully file for unemployment and there is no way to get through to the State online or by phone.

So here I wait, in my office, looking into what my friends in other places are doing via social media on my phone or computer.

My computer has decided to stop allowing me to do any keyboard shortcuts like COPY and PASTE now. All commands now only work if I go up to the menu bar to activate them, so there is something wrong with my keyboard settings and I am trying everything I can find online to figure out what went wrong but I have not had any luck fixing the problem yet. The only thing I haven't tried is reloading my entire OS from an old HD backup because that causes problems of its own with lost data and fishing around to replace individual components at times. I don't know what wrecked my keyboard settings other than having my Wacom tablet in use but I haven't found any useful information on resetting from there.


I'm being more negative than I intended. Sorry.


Some things more positive -

We have been doing more yard work. The four planter boxes we have are now planted with seed again. The hill and back yard have been covered with fresh mulch. The front yard is mowed. The three pallets of leftover soft flat stone from the retaining wall that was taken down a couple of years ago are finally gone and that part of the back yard is mulched too. MonsterMustDie finally gave the stones to our next door neighbor's stepfather and the pallets were chopped up and put into the trash bin that should be emptied this morning.

We decided to spend more money to get the CBS channel on TV just to watch Picard and we've been binging that series for the last two nights and it has not disappointed. It's a great series, so far.

I should at least be walking more when the weather is nice like it should be today. I plan to have a nice walk or two today. 

perspective

Here's the thing:
TV shows and old movies are not and never were reality. That's not to say they are unimportant. They have merit because, in portraying the world not as it is but how it could be or could be, they give us something to strive for or to avoid. No one I knew had a family like Leave It To Beaver or The Cosby Show but those families are wonderful ideals that everyone can see as a personal goal. As children, we grew up with these ideal taught to us. The problem is too many people think the past was actually like that. The 50's were not at all like Happy Days. There was segregation, no birth control, very few legal rights for women, McCarthyism and blacklists. There was massive poisoning of the environment with DDT and lead added to gasoline (not because it was the best solution but because the process was patented and there was more money to be made off that) and the list goes on but that's not anything you'll ever know about unless you actually make the effort to research the archives of that time. We grow up and see things from an adult perspective and think the world is worse now because we only have a child's perspective of the past. Daddy never told us everything he did during his military service.

We should be more imaginative and forward-thinking. We should not be mourning a world or people that never existed. We should be evolving into something better rather than wishing we could regress into myth.

pretty good day

Not a bad day yesterday. We filled three small planter boxes with garden soil and replanted the surviving parsley and thyme from last year's garden. MonsterMustDie planted salad greens and watermelon radishes. We need to plant the  tomato & kale seedlings we have before they're too big but he is dragging his feet on building simple fences to fit over the boxes to protect them from cats, squirrels and rabbits. Something got in under the screen I laid on top of the boxes and dug around in the newly planted bed and dug up the parsley plants. I smoothed the soil back over the seeded bed, hoping for the best on what we already stuck in the soil.


I also made what I consider to be a meal of real food - fresh chicken medallions wrapped in bacon and roasted, roasted brussels sprouts, and fingerling potatoes tossed in butter and parsley.



I need to put something together for headers, etc. on a new web page and portfolio for myself.

another UTI

Woke up at 2:30 a.m. with another horrible UTI, probably from the infection I had last month that was never completely cleared, no thanks to my regular doctor's office. MonsterMustDie drove me to the local emergency room for a positive test and thankfully, my insurance was still active so it only cost me $500.00 (I dread to think what something like this will cost with no insurance). Thanks to the kind staff and young Dr. Patel for helping me accurately and quickly. My Walgreens helped with the cost of the antibiotics and now I'm once again on the road to recovery.

This has been a strange sad week. Lost my full-time job last week. 

Planned a trip to Chicago this week with friend to visit her mom. 

Then my sister-in-law's father, who has been ill for a very long time, passed away early Sunday morning. I cancelled the plans for the Chicago trip and started making new plans to drive down to Atlanta for the funeral and MonsterMustDie took his suit to the drycleaners (which he should have done last time he wore it). 

My sister-in-law asked us not to come to the funeral. She just repeated several times how the long drive wasn't worth it and it was going to be a small brief memorial - about 30 minutes.

On the upside, maybe everything does happen for a reason. 

My friend decided to postpone her trip to Chicago to next week so we can go together and she doesn't have to make such a long drive alone. 

It probably would have been much worse if I had come down with this infection while I was away from home. The money I would have spent on travel and flowers and cat-sitter, etc. for the funeral trip was used for medical bills. Looks like the universe has taken care of me again.

such a joyful life

I hate it here. I don't fit in. My hands are tied. I get shut down at everything I try to do.

Once again, I'm unemployed.

The company I've been working at full-time since July 2018 decided to eliminate their entire digital imaging department, outsourcing more and concentrating on marketing instead. They called all of us into a meeting on Friday morning and let us know our jobs were terminated. Effective immediately. They handed us our final paychecks as we left the conference room and all of us were escorted out of the building. The only people I didn't see leaving were Captain Cod and Mr. Drinky. 

Boom. 

I've got no plans or prospects for another job here in High Point. Meanwhile, I'll try to put in more hours at my weekend job at the shop. This leaves my schedule and life even more unpredictable and since I'll have to be available to show up at any time to keep a retail job. I still work every weekend but I will try to get more weekday hours now. 

John is retired now and has no interest in working for someone else again. He'll be 65 on April 28. 

All retail work is part time. I am now immediately uninsured again, probably permanently. 

in memoriam

There are some people I think of every day: 

Those who are gone:
Janet Leigh Parks
J. Paul Harrison
Barry Feltz
Clark Vreeland
My mother, Loretta Perry
My father, James Ray Perry


Those who are still here with me: 
My newly-found biological sisters, Jennifer and Patricia
Jennifer's daughters, whom I've met, Gabrielle and Myka
Sandra Ross
Cindi Sokol

Those I wonder about often: 
Stuart Pennington
Stephanie Kaskel
Gillian Canty

UTI

Two weeks ago,  I woke up in the middle of the night with a horrific UTI. 

On Wednesday,  I was nearly finished with the prescription antibiotics but I still didn't feel right. There was still some burning pain in my bladder.  I decided to try to schedule a recheck. I felt better but there was still some pain. Is that just healing that still needs to happen or is it lingering infection? I don't know. 

I phoned th he doctor's office for a recheck. Told them I had my last med that morning. Oddly enough, they told me to come in that same morning so I went in at 10:30 a.m. Of course,  my urine test was negative. Now, they want to test me for a yeast infection,  like I don't know the difference in symptoms. 

I wish they would recommend a good urologist for me. They won't. They said they'd rather wait until my labs come in. 

The test proved that I don't have to a yeast infection.  Now they want me to try Primarin cream. So they say,  at my age, vaginal dryness can be irritating.  Like that would feel anything like a  UTI.  

I would say an Urgent Care clinic would be easier but I don't know if they have labs on site and they would take a lot longer. The Urgent Care Clinic near me has doctors who are too eager to prescribe painkillers and sedatives but that's the market they're used to here. 

After my office visit,  I stopped into Walgreen's to pick up the Primarin that my doctor was wanted me to try and the pharmacist said nothing had been called in for me. I gave up and went back into work. 

I still don't feel well today. I am very much afraid I will come back down with the same infection this week. 

 

pain and fear

I woke up at 1:00AM Wednesday with a blazing UTI. I kept waking up the rest of the night from the pain. I could not get a new prescription for antibiotics until I had an office visit with a doctor. I was able to get in to see the doctor on call at my OBGYN at 10:30AM that morning. Then after an hour to get my prescription filled, I returned  to work the rest of the day. I went straight to bed after work that day. By Thursday, I stayed up long enough to do some laundry before going to bed and sleeping well.
The idea of getting a UTI on a weekend, when there are no doctors around to prescribe anything, horrifies me. I know I could not possibly work my weekend job on my feet in that much pain. There are emergency clinics but even they have to send tests to labs outside and none of them have late hours. I don't know if they're open on weekends.
This infection came out of the blue. I try to drink a lot of water. I guess I'm still not drinking enough water for this to happen.