no golden eggs here.

We started out today with MonsterMustDie talking about money and the lack of it and how we aren't making enough for both of us to live on. He started talking once again about me starting my own business with a JulesPerryPhotography website. I told him I have two websites - one on wordpress and one on Wix - that have created absolutely no interest on old photos of musicians or in selling me as a graphic designer. There is no huge pot of money waiting for him in my corner. I suggested not wasting money on small things and concentrating everything we have on finishing the most important parts of the house, like the kitchen, to have the house itself generate income during Market weeks as an AirB&B. He is appalled at the idea of sharing our home with other people who we do not know and says we might as well give up and sell the house if we are going to do that. He also wants to make money with no investment or debt whatsoever, which is an impossible task. I think it probably defies physics and all laws of nature and economics to expect me to come up with a way to bring us instant money with no risk or investment.

All this weeks after I told him that I did not want any discussions or mention of money unless it was options for improving our lifestyle or income. The photography and graphic design website idea is at least three years old and I am tired of hearing about my failure in it. He thought I would be a big fish in a small pond when we moved to High Point (despite saying things would be so cheap here that I could be a kept woman - he forgets that now) but instead I am a dried up flounder lying on dry rocks where there is no place to swim. We have burned all of my bridges and extra-support by leaving the city and there is no going back - only forward from this place. He shoots down every other idea I come up with and tells me how it can never work and how stupid I am if I pursue it.

This is a typical day when we are both at home. Being trapped in the house with him here makes me want to pack a suitcase and drive away as far as I can until the car runs out of gas and fling myself off a bridge somewhere.

Halloween Decorations

I am beginning to get my happy Halloween on here at Casa WereMonster.

Adding to my burdens

The ache and sting in my left arm that started in September is still with me and has kinda changed to more of a sting than a bruised feeling. Not always there but springs up predictably when I move my arm or have to hold something with my left hand. Always some small malady going on. At least my back is better now.

A stray cat came up to us one night last week and introduced himself by jumping into my lap while we were sitting around the fire talking to Karen and Bob. He was extremely friendly, emaciated, and coughing with a labored breathing. He came back up to me every night afterwards and was obviously sleeping in the dried leaves at the end of our back yard. I took him into a veterinary clinic that was recommended to me. He tested FIV positive and had a respiratory infection. Rather than have him euthanized immediately, I had his other vaccinations updated and had the vet give him a long-acting antibiotic shot. Now, he's living on the back porch here until I can figure out what to do with him. I'm feeding him as much as I can to put some flesh on him and the cough is already lessened. His appetite is much better now too. He still longs to be outside and we really can't keep him in the back room permanently. We have to find another home for him, euthanize him, or put him back outdoors despite the vet telling me that I couldn't let him be outside again. I would LOVE to find him a new home as a solitary pet for someone or in a FIV+ cat rescue. Of course, all shelters of that sort that I've found are not taking in any new animals. Normal animal shelters don't take FIV+ animals - they are put down immediately, which is what I probably should have done, but he is such a sweet cat I thought I should try to do what I could to give him a chance at a longer life.

MonsterMustDie has been fighting a cold and what might be an intestinal virus or mild case of food poisoning this week. He's been completely depleted at the end of every day and short tempered, both from the physical stresses he is enduring now and the mental stress of this cat I put on the back porch. Every thing that was on the porch as far as laundry hampers, chair covers, etc. is now in the house to make room for the cat and to keep that area easier to clean.