nightmares

Yesterday was not good

 I woke up from a dream with a recurring theme of me trying to protect  someone and failing. 

Work was okay. This is a time of long hours.

Got home to Monstermustdie having a very bad day for his functioning memory.  He couldn't remember watching the latest episode of Watchmen with me the night before and insisted on watching it again. He didn't remember one moment of the show as it played.  Then we watched His Dark Materials and he struggled with the actor's name who originally played the cowboy,  calling him Sam Walton, the Sam Neal, and me finally correcting him with Sam Elliott. Monstermustdie always remembers actor's names but not last night. 

Halloween 2019

Horrible weather this year essentially shut down all of our Halloween activities.  There were severe thunderstorms all night. We only had six trick-or-treaters at Casa WereMonster this year. Two people we invited over came by to hang out for a little while. I'm still giving away leftover candy to co-workers. I'll save the party for next year and hope the rubber whoopie cushions survive the time in storage.

We had plenty of treats.

New skeleton in my grandmother's old dress

Charcuterie spread 

Bar cart 

smack in the nose

Yesterday Monstermustdie,  for reasons unknown to me, had the attic door in front of the bathroom open with the ladder up just hanging down. I came out of the bathroom and, looking down like I usually do, walked straight into it. I hit my nose really hard, which resulted in a nose bleed and some swelling. I stayed mad at him the rest of the day for that.

Today, I worked at the dress shop. I was originally scheduled for 10AM to 3:15PM but they asked me to work until closing tonight and, work slut that I am, I said yes.

feels like Autumn tonight

Yesterday was rainy, which is good. We have been in a deficit here for a while. It was incredibly foggy in the morning and stayed overcast with a spotty drizzle coming down all day. At the end of the work day, I actually had a bit to do with finishing and collating a large print job - another improvement of my week. Once I got home, I made dinner of some vegetables that were lingering in the fridge along with some fresh rotisserie chicken that happened to be on sale. MonsterMustDie and I finished the evening watching Nightmare Before Christmas.

That was just enough distraction for me to forget to phone Jen about our weekend plans and let Mad know I got the print she sent me. I sent a text message this morning on the print and I'll have to remember to call to firm up the weekend tonight.

inertia & atrophy

I can tell it's Market time in High Point because my commute to work was fully twice as long as normal this morning.  Looking back to who was still behind me coming in, I recognized coworkers who also live in High Point.  Market takes place here on two weeks a year - one in fall and one in spring.  The rest of the year,  this place is a ghost town. You would think that would mean my life is very busy this week but the opposite is true.

They've been sending me home early every day for lack of anything to work on. Yesterday,  by the time I got home, I realized I have a serious case of brain fog from it. My life is at a standstill this week in my little cage.
MonsterMustDie is still refusing to file for unemployment. I am continuing to try to talk him into taking advantage of the benefit he's paid into all his working life and that we need now.

Labor Day Weekend

I managed to work all weekend, including Monday when my full time job was on holiday. Monday night was the most peaceful I've seen the shop in a long time. We even had time to tidy up a bit and the racks and floor were mostly clear by the time we got the last customer out. Seems like Monday national holidays are the best time to be working. We weren't empty but everything was very manageable and efficient. I only wish someone had concentrated more on visual merchandising while there was time but it was still well-spent putting a ton of new fall merchandise out and marking down and eliminating more final clearance items. Best part of Monday night was that no one misbehaved enough to be noteworthy or threatening. I need to remember this next year at this time.

Contagious diseases

Someone brought a kid with measles into the store. I can't believe there are so many anti-vaxxers here and that they intentionally take sick children out in public.

Changes

Looks like Monstermustdie has lost his job.  His position has been eliminated. He gets to work there two weeks and, for all his years of service here and in Atlanta,  he gets one month severance pay.

He says he doesn't want to work for other people anymore.

He still wants to start a business with Phillipe. He's also looking at trying to sell more antiques again.

So many things up in the air now. He doesn't want to leave North Carolina and my condo in Atlanta has paying tenants now and the house is in awful condition, not acceptable for being put on the market and I want to go home.

Destination unknown

This is the best reason for me to hold on to my condo in Atlanta forever: MonsterMustDie has never made a will and has no intentions of ever doing such a thing because 1. too expensive  2. he thinks everything is covered by the fact we are legally married 3. too unpleasant to deal with.

4th of July 2019

Independence day was on a Thursday this year and July is a very slow time for all businesses in High Point so we were able to take a long 4-day weekend trip to Atlanta. This kinda makes up for the insane round trip we made for J Paul's memorial service. July 4th weekend turned out to be an excellent time to visit with most people still home that week and lots of things happening, like the EAV fireworks and the closing party for the Animalia art show at a gallery on Clifton Road in the Candler Park neighborhood.We were fortunate enough to stay with Cindi and John in their beautiful home in our old neighborhood of Northcrest.

We headed out of Casa WereMonster on Thursday morning and made it into East Atlanta to hang out with at Nick and Audrey's house with Chaz and Sandra, drinking wine and snacking until it was time to walk down the street to see fireworks.

Friday was spent running around with Mr.Bunny and the Soogs while MonsterMustDie shopped for treasures in midtown and Chamblee. I took another long look at a necklace that I can't seem to forget about or purchase at one favorite shop. I was gleefully spending so much money there that I really should have bought myself the necklace. I am kicking myself now for not just going for it. If I've liked it this long, that means I will no doubt enjoy having it forever (or a very long time, at least).

Saturday afternoon was spent visiting my family and meeting my first great-niece, Kate, in Marietta. We had lunch a local food court behind Marietta square. My brother and I recorded a podcast for my neice. After the family visit, we went to Candler Park where I saw many old friends at the art show and short film screening.

Sunday was a casual drive back to North Carolina.

We had snacks, drinks, and sparklers on the back patio before heading into EAV downtown for an impressive fireworks display. 

Friday was spent recovering from the trip and the night before while running around town with friends, including tacos for breakfast and lunch snacks at HopStix. I had the duck appetiser, which was delicious.

 I have been a little obsessed with this very heavy necklace for a while. I keep having to visit it every time I'm in Atlanta.  I probably should have purchased it this time.

We spent most of Saturday visiting my family and meeting my new great neice, Kate, before going to the closing of the Animalia art show in Candler Park, where I saw many old friends, including Bill, Mike, and Megan. 

 

  

We drove home into an intense summer storm.

Dreaming

Dreamed of J.Paul last night.  We were doing things out of town while staying in a huge old house of an older southern society lady and her husband.  I was counting how many rooms had fireplaces and trying to avoid faux pas. Jae was keeping me on my toes.

memorial

We drove straight to the memorial service at the Lutheran church, late, and sat in the last row in back while the rain poured outside. After the officiants finished their part, one by one, friends and family came up to share their memories about J. Paul. There was a table in front with photos of her and Brad's wedding and a great old photo of J. and her son, Jake, when he was still small. Must have been a holiday portrait. There was a ceramic urn with dragonflies on it. People whose businesses she encouraged and helped set up spoke. Old friends spoke. Her older brother spoke through tears.

After the service, the few of us from Women's Night group of friends met up for a couple of hours at The Imperial. We drank, snacked, and shared our own personal and shared memories of Jae.

We drove back to North Carolina after that because MonsterMustDie insisted in sleeping in his own bed after two weeks in Chicago. Thankfully, he drove while I mostly slept in the (no airbag) passenger seat. We got in a little after 10pm.

I must not think bad thoughts.

It's been a crazy month, starting with a co-worker backing into my car at the end of a work day, followed by his insurance declaring my car totalled. I could get not-quite-enough to fix my ugly old car and keep it under a "salvage" title or get twice as much, which would help with a down payment on a new car. I've decided it's time to let go of my 2007 Honda Civic and try to find an affordable newer used car to replace it. I need a car that is road-worthy enough for trips out of town, mostly to Atlanta for visits, and this car is past that now. The insurance company will pick up the car on Monday. I'll have a rental car for up to 12 days while I shop for a new car, which I can't buy until 1. I get paid for my old car by the insurance company and 2. I have someone to go car shopping with so I don't get stomped on by car salepeople. 

MonsterMustDie has been in Chicago for two weeks now, working. He comes home tomorrow night.

My friend Jae's memorial service is this Saturday morning in Conyers, Georgia. I tried to get off work at both jobs to go down on Friday for it but was only able to get time off my weekend part-time job for it. My full-time job has been too busy this month to give me an extra day to make the drive down. Instead, I'll be hitting the road around 4:00 a.m. on Saturday. Because he will be home by then, MonsterMustDie wants to come with me to the memorial for Jae but he is insisting on driving straight back to North Carolina because he only wants to sleep in his own bed. So we will be making an insane trip with no extra time to chill out before coming back home again the same day. We could easily stay with friends and rest that night before being back on the road Sunday morning and home in plenty of time but he's not having it.

And, did I mention his car has no passenger-side air bag? It's been recalled for years now with this flaw and he refuses to inconvenience himself by taking it in to have the airbag replaced for free.

I know I complain too much. Gotta work on that. I must be more optimistic.
Good side is my partner wants to be with me for the memorial service and I'll be buying a new car soon. And there are fireflies tonight in the back yard.

romance

I want passion in my life.
I want art and creativity in my life.
I want romance, which is the natural by-product of passion and art in my life.

None of us are strangers to Death.

Got the call this afternoon from Sandy that J has passed. Any memorial arrangements will not be made until after her son graduates high school at the end of May.
Meanwhile,  another friend's stepfather had died on good Friday,  choosing to opt out rather than go into hospice care.
It's a dark Spring this year.

 Here is the last photo of all of us together before my wedding a couple of years ago.
Women's Night group will never be complete again without J's wit, humor, and bold opinions.

mixed reviews

I had my annual check-up two weeks ago with my new doctor, who I've only seen once before. She is concerned how high in iron and platelettes my blood is. My blood has always been very “rich”. In retrospect, I remember doctors marveling how high in iron it was when I was a young child. My mother was quite proud of that because she and my grandmother always had bouts of anemia. I am the opposite of anemic. No one ever showed concern about it. My doctor in Atlanta attributed it to being part of the symptoms of Gilbert's Syndrome, which I aparently have. My new doctor in North Carolina does not want to consider this harmless and/or genetic without further tests. I still test high on cholesterol but mostly with a healthy balance.
Last week, I had blood drawn after my follow-up appointment to test for hemochromatosis, a very recessive genetic trait, but tests came back negative for the genes responsible for that condition. "Hfe H63D Genotype = Not Present - Normal Genotype"  Meanwhile, I should probably stick to a low-iron, low-fat diet. That sounds like a vegetarian diet to me, which I'm very comfortable with - and my doctor said I did not have to cut out red wine or any other spiritous beverages just because my liver is weird.

This week's book is The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck - a counterintuitive approach to living a good life. Here's hoping I can be better at getting my zen on.

work. life.

I am sick and tired of frozen entrees for every meal and a partner who usually does not want to eat home-cooked meals in the evening.
I made MonsterMustDie go to dinner with me (I paid) at a new restaurant in town tonight, Blue Magnolia. It was exactly what I needed - food made from scratch with fresh ingredients that never saw the inside of a freezer and were not over-seasoned. We split an appetizer of "Grit Tots" and an entree of Pot Roast. MonsterMustDie had a couple of Wicked Weed Pernicious beer on tap.

Yay, coworkers! I love it when someone has my back when I need it.

The cold I had last weekend is mostly gone now except for a froggy throat. Very froggy. Can't raise my voice to speak clearly again yet.

Tonight, I work at the dress shop for 5 hours. Tomorrow, when I'm off work entirely, I will no doubt be trying to decide what to do with myself.

work. frustration. sickness

MonsterMustDie had a cold last week. Two weeks ago GT had a killer cold that left him face down on his desk at work. I’ve been fighting off a cold on the verge all week.
Thursday, I had a dermatologist appointment in the late afternoon around 3:40pm. We have been working longer hours this week until 6:30pm rather than 5:00pm with a half hour shorter lunch break to make up for plans to have our part of the office vacated for a commercial video shoot on Friday. I had a group of photos with complicated shapes and shadows I was madly editing to make up for a really bad set that didn’t quite cover nearly a quarter of the image and numerous cock-ups with the product staging. I was planning to leave at 3pm and probably come back after my appointment to continue alterations on images that had no disclosed deadline on the database. Just before I left the office, they announced that the studio and digital department would be closing at  3pm for the day instead. GT told me to go ahead and upload all of the images for the client. I explained how the last few were not done and looked really bad, even though I had already built all of the components to rebuild the images but, no matter, he told me to go ahead and blindly upload what I had to them. Ugh! I let my department manager know what was up and he simply said if GT told me to do it, send it that way. I am fully expecting some very bad responses by Monday.
The doctor's appointment went fine, BTW. Just a little aesthetic thingie he took off my back.

By Friday morning the cold came into full bloom. There was nothing I could do for the first two hours after waking up other than try to sit upright, crusty eyes closed, with what felt like a migrain headache. On top of that, the other symptoms made me feel nauseated. I called off work at the dress shop in the evening and spent the rest of the day wishing I was not awake. I drank a lot of water and slept in the guest room with the humidifier running. I'm sleeping upright-ish with a lot of pillows behind me.

Saturday was a lot better in the morning. Woke up snotty but mobile. Spent most of the day chilling on the sofa. MonsterMustDie and I have spent this weekend watching the first few episodes of Umbrella Academy. I'm living on soup and cold remedies.

Today,  the worse thing is the constant cough. My head feels like it will explode every time I cough and I'm doing the best I can to avoid coughing too much. Staying well-hydrated and upright helps a lot.

Post-Holiday Lull

We are still in the post-holiday lulls here. Work is slow but they are keeping me on and, for that, I am grateful but I spend most of my weekdays reading and asking if there is anything I can do.
My weekend job is at one day a week, usually just four hours for now but I don't mind not having to be standing for hours - everything from the waist down can not handle standing in place for long periods of time anymore.

Drunken Christmas

Monstermustdie is so drunk that I don't know if we can make it to meet friends for brunch tomorrow.

Christmas in Atlanta

We made the 6-hour drive down to our old neighborhood in Atlanta on Christmas eve to spend the holiday with friends and family.  We split up our stay there between Staying with friends Cindi and John on the first two days before house-sitting for Daniel and Sam later in the week.
We returned to North Carolina on December 29, leaving early in the morning. I wish we had stayed until the afternoon of the 30th but MonsterMustDie was in a hurry to be home. He had already had enough of the city. I could see his anxiety rising as we crossed I-285 going into Atlanta and he did not relax again until we were back in the house.
I tried to get together with my friend J, who lives out of town in Conyers while we were there but was not able to meet up with her or visit her new home in Conyers. Every attempt did not work out. That does not mean I'm not extremely grateful for the time I had to visit. This was my first trip home in a long time and, if I am lucky enough to stay employed here, the only time I will ever have to travel will be the week after Christmas from now on.
I got to see a lot of friends. I got to have dinner out with my family. I shopped at the Buford Highway Farmers Market on my way out of town to pick up some treats and I stopped in one liquor store and got one bottle of very nice brandy that I can't find in the entire state of North Carolina and its ABC stores.