Last Supper with Cindi & John

John ordered fragrant rice with charcoal grilled lamb.

Last supper with Cindi and John at Com

Dinner at Com with Cindi & John  on the last night in Atlanta before the big move. I ordered Pho Ga.

this is not shaping up to be a good weekend

MonsterMustDie is in town this weekend. Yesterday was my birthday and between that and the move, I have an obligatory family visit starting this afternoon that he has agreed to accompany me to.

I am getting a strong indication that he does not want me in North Carolina with him. There is a sunroom in back that was once a back porch, now closed in and windowed. I had already put in dibs on that one room in the new house as an area for myself. Just as expected, he is already saying "The neighbors can see what's in there" as if to say he does not want me making a mess, which means he prefers I don't use that area for anything. This is a room that already houses the laundry machines and a big hole in the wall for an unplugged dilapidated window unit AC. His latest comments on things I like are "Great. Another expensive thing to sit around." I wonder if this is how he split with his first wife - through passive actions pushing her until she could not take any more.

Update:
In spite of good efforts to work in a trip to Home Depot on the way and still planning to arrive early, we got to my mother's house five minutes late of the absolute deadline she had given me at 2:05 pm. Or so we thought. There was no on at her flat but her and the dogs. She had forgotten to tell us that plans had changed. No one in the family was coming except my brother and sister-in-law, who would be picking up my mother (thank God she's not driving!) and taking her to a place my brother had picked out in midtown called "Poor Calvin's" for dinner. Reservations for dinner had been made for all of us at 7:30 p.m.

We had not eaten yet, planning on the late lunch/early dinner gathering, and had otherwise planned to do a lot of work on packing and meeting up with people who had purchased used items at the house in the early evening after time with the family. Those plans were now effectively trashed. We agreed that we would all just meet at the restaurant this evening. Then, MonsterMustDie and I headed back to the house to accomplish what we could at the house in the small amount of time we might have before heading out again for time with my family. On the way home, we stopped by Steak and Shake, where he got something he'd been craving for a while - chilli and a grilled cheese sandwich. Then we ran home. He got filthy working in the shed to pull things out and dismantle boards for a couple in the neighborhood to pick up later, and I pulled a few more things out to pack and did a tiny bit of laundry.

October 17

Birthday greetings from Google

no place for a woman

Thus far on the new house, I will not have my own fully functioning bathroom for a while. Instead, there is a second, smaller bathroom with a tiny shower and no shelves or counter space. In other words, there is no place for grooming or toiletries or makeup other than a medicine cabinet.

Yesteday, he told me the kitchen is not a priority for him and he has no need for a blender or food processor - but he forbids me from buy an affordable Black and Decker blender because he says they make poor quality products. The kitchen has an outdated electric stovetop and oven. The space is small. He brought the microwave oven, originally mine, to the NC house and that will be our main source of hot food.

He also keeps repeating that I should have no problem finding work after we move. Either he does not want me there and is passively pushing me out by making my life as restricted as possible or he really thinks I could find a job that would allow me to contribute equally if I wanted to. If I could find a job, I would not be moving. We are relocating to a low-income area that has been in a depression for the last 15 years. 

Things are not going well this weekend.

Treat for Ellie a.k.a. Tiny Dynamine

lost in the weeds

Talked to John today and he admonished me for buying small things and having them sent to the new house because:
1. I should not be shopping for anything now.
2. He does not want anything else he has to put into a cabinet.

In other news, the large bathroom - my bathroom - is not finished, will not be finished, and does not have a working toilet. I will have to make do with the small closet-sized bathroom for the foreseeable further.

Without checking city zoning and regulations, like I suggested weeks ago, he purchased a new wall-mounted mailbox for the house. Today, he got notice in the mail that mailbox will not be to code and must be replaced with a street-side mailbox per current postal regulations. Fortunately, he has time to return the large new mailbox he purchased and get his money back. He has already ordered a new mailbox to install at the street.

I believe his views may be changing on the importance of having sheltered off-street parking. This is a good thing, since I don't want to have to park under a tree at the top of the yard, blocked in by his car.

He is losing time by concentrating on every minute dent and scratch and crack in the wall while he still has not painted any room yet. There is no way he can make every wall perfect and he admits he has lost a lot of time by not being able to just let go of his quest for perfection. The OCD mind does not work well with tight deadlines.

He's working like crazy, to the point of breaking while trying to live his first home-owner dream.

unwell.

MonsterMustDie was home in Atlanta for a couple of days this weekend to visit and load up as much I could have him take to the new house. I know he sees it as stuff to lug inside but anything to lighten the amount we have to load up and unload all at once when we make the BIG move will be good.

Feeling very unwell today. I went out for brunch at Babettes cafe. I had the shrimp grits and wild mushroom soup and 1 (one) basil lemonade before we went to Oakland cemetery to walk around the Sunday In The Park festival. Today, I feel like I'm having a bad hangover - nausea, dreadful headache. 

Now, I've still got to go to Kroger to restock on a few small things like bottled water, etc. I would rather spend the entire day in bed sleeping whatever is ailing me off.

Otherwise, brunch was delicious and Oakland cemetery was fun - perfect day for walking around outside. Music was not so great this year but there were some good vendors of handmade jewelry, period clothing, and something I had not seen before - heirloom plants being sold that were propagated from some of those in the landscape of Oakland Cemetery. The flowers and shrubs they had for sale were beautiful and I was very excited at the idea of taking some of those heirloom plants with me to add to the landscape of a new home. 

I am looking forward to having a more productive day tomorrow when I feel better.