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Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas Eve

The annual Winter Solstice party last Saturday was a blast. Though a lot of friends were out of town, I was delighted to see people who I did not expect to make it to the gathering and had a great time with everyone, despite all of the things that were left undone by the time things started. I always seem to run out of time or get too busy with guests to do. After it all, there was still a bag of groceries and soda I had bought that were never put out for guests. Typical.

Watching "It's A Wonderful Life" on the telly. Cats and humans are fed. The old Dutch man is drinking gifted holiday beer, with Ellie cat sharing the couch with him. I am having a glass of pinot noir that is unusually rich for pinot IMHO, from a bottle someone brought to the Winter Solstice Party. 
 
Tomorrow: a low-country boil dinner with my brother's family in Powder Springs. 

Today was spent driving to Alabama for a visit with MonsterMustDie's mother and cousin Kim. Mostly, his mother sleeps these days. She nods off constantly, which is a blessing in some ways. She doesn't want to be where she is - she misses her house on the mountain - but she is being well cared for now. It is sweet to see him putting lotion on her dry hands taking care of her. His cousin Kim is the sister he never had and the sister-daughter who is there for his mother in Alabama. So, really, things are as good as they could be for her. 
 
Maurice phoned from New Jersey tonight to say Happy Christmas and to scold me for not returning his calls last week. He had two gigs today as Santa Clause. I told him it was hard to picture the malcontent I know (him) being the merry old elf. He says he does it all, including a character he created called Murray The Elf. Hah! He and Larry might be coming for a visit to Atlanta soon and it might be fun to spend some time with them.

This week, I am house-cat sitting in Buckhead again, which I enjoy tremendously, while friends are in New York visiting family. Tonight, however, I am home. I will wake up in my own bed on Christmas morning, open gifts with my housemate, and then check in on the cat house.

Stockings were hung. 

Gifts waited under the tree. 

Thursday, December 20, 2012

getting my holiday on

As it turns out, we did in fact get a small tree last week and it is now decorated and has survived Ellie cat's attention with no loss of ornaments or fragile objects nearby.

Tree 2012

Last Saturday was  spent going to B&G's Holiday Silliness party, where we celebrate the shopportunities of the most traveled couple I know. Many gifts were exchanged. No drama was reported. Everyone was in good health and spirits this year. A lot of glogg and the Mrs. signature hot "rim jobs" were consumed. (drink, drank, drunk?)

Sunday was Anya's holiday Nightmare Before Xmas party at her island of misfit toys. More glogg was served. Many Scandinavians and those of northern european decent were in attendance. The lights went out for about an hour while I was there but, fortunately, it was a house with many candles and candle holders. Anya just scattered lit votives and candelabras in every room and the house looked even more festive and warm.

Jack Skellington as a tree topper

This coming weekend is the annual Winter Solstice Party at el Rancho de WereMonster, where I plan to serve the usual hot spiced cider out of the enormous crock pot my mother give me. This year's menu will also feature a repeat of the roast duck we had on Thankgiving, following the instructions of Mark Bittman's book "How To Cook Everything".

Saturday, December 08, 2012

Friday Night

On my way home from my part-time temp job, I thought I should try to coax MonsterMustDie to go with me to get a fresh cut tree after he got home from work, among other things. I have decided in my head that a wreath hanging indoors under the sky light is probably just as bad or worse than a tree when it comes to providing an opportunity for Chaos Cat a.k.a Ellie, our little tuxedo kitty, to cause trouble.

That did not  happen last night but that's okay.

Fortunately, MonsterMustDie had plans to go to Jennifer's shop on Highland Avenue to pick up a vase that had sold online immediately after he took it out of the house and over to her shop to include in a collection of studio ceramics he was trying to sell. The vase had been on sale for over a year with no interest and he was confident it was going nowhere in his online shop - and then it sold this week. The Universe has a sense of humor. Last night happened to be the open house at the shop, so we cleaned up and got out and he got to be in his element with other antique dealers and mid-century modern design enthusiasts.

So, as it turned out, I had a very nice Friday evening with the guys, going to City Issue and Pure Taqueria last night. I always love the way Jennifer can make everything look so good in her shop by displaying it in a way that allows people to envision how good everything can look in homes and offices. As we walked back to the car, later, I could see the shop was still open but she was finally sitting down, relaxing and chatting with a few people before closing.

Hoping today that I can get a tree to try out my first xmas cat challenge. Ellie cat has not had a tree before so I don't know how this will go. I think if B&G can have a tree with five cats, I can figure out a way to have a tree with one very active cat.


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

post Thankgiving morning

I was dreaming of being in New York City with Lou Reed making art and watching music art video displays that were actually on entire wall of his living room. The color were very un-NYC to me: Copper, browns, golds, like a steam-punk kinda aesthetic. There were large photos I was working on that had cool palettes with blood red and wine highlight to images that had the hues tweaked down to almost monotones.

Then I woke up to the smashing sound of a car wreck on Pleasantdale Road.

Last week, I was house & cat sitting for the beloved B&G, who finally came home last night. I always enjoy my stays at their house - it's like a mini vacation from reality for me. It changes my perspective just enough to be in new surroundings for a while and I sleep like a baby there.
MonsterMustDie complains when I stay there but he knows it makes me happy. Don't deprive me of my bits of happy or karma payment will be long and drawn out.

Thanksgiving was spent with old friends at RRE who were deep-frying turkeys, pickles, etc. There was a great formal dinner in the main room, where tables were set formally and dinner was called to start by Neil, who made a toast of sorts before we ate, surrounded by music and art. We contributed a roast duck to the mix. That was the first duck either of us had roasted and it came out quite good, thanks to the instructions in our favorite cook book by Mark Bittman, How To Cook Everything.

My family holiday gathering was Sunday evening at my brother's house, where he and my mother prepared the dinner, which included the last marinated tomatoes of this year. The frost on Sunday night means tomato season is officially over. A lot of people I know were pulling whatever they could from their gardens on Saturday and Sunday before the frost. I picked all the green tomatoes that were on the vines at home and clipped as much basil as I could find. Most of the tomatoes are probably too green to ripen properly so I plan to fry them later this week.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thanksgiving Duckling

Roasting one up according Mark Bittman's instructions.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

About to start a week of Cat-House sitting over the holiday. Getting my suitcase packed and looking forward to little change in my life for a few days.

In other news, I am also going to be working with a friend at a 12-hour catering gig today. I don't know how long a shift of this kind will work because I've never done it for this company before but I think this might me a very good investment of my time if it works out well. It actually pays better than the part-time temp job I have now, which is kinda sad because my temping requires skills that I've spent years building. I am hopeful all will go well today and I can get more work days like this in the future.

Now that everyone is getting in the holiday mood:


Monday, November 05, 2012

A disturbance in the force

I have an unexplainable feeling of melancholy this morning. 

Friday, October 12, 2012

back in their place

Home tonight at el Rancho. Doing laundry. The house mate is already asleep.

My mother came home yesterday from the hospital. My uncle picked her up and, being the good brother, stopped by Chik-fil-A on the way to buy her lunch. She said the diagnosis was acute bronchitis. They did not send her home with an antibiotic prescription but they did decide to change up some of her other medications a bit. My guess is that she had antibiotics in I.V. form while she was in the hospital. She assured me that she was on the mend and that her heart, blood pressure, and blood sugar levels were all good now. I'll try to visit her on Sunday if she will let me. She usually prefers to visit with me by meeting for lunch and not having us come to her home. If she doesn't feel good enough to go out to eat, she doesn't feel good enough for a visitor even if it is her daughter. I'm satisfied knowing she is feeling better and is back home now. My brother and sister-in-law are on vacation this week and my niece said she would clean her house before she got back home. I suppose it's fine that there is nothing for me to do.

MonsterMustDie is visiting his mother in Alabama tomorrow and I have a craft night with the girls to go to in the evening, so I will probably spend the rest of the weekend in Fort Feline. Looking forward to being around friends tomorrow.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Routine Maintenance is expensive.

Warrantees are finally expired on my 2007 Civic and it looks like my car service visits costing around $2000 are on their way back again. Glad things didn't get more expensive since my last old car. Glad I have credit cards. Still waiting at the dealership today since coming in for my maintenance appointment at 10:15 am. It is now 12:30 pm. I always have to wonder whether it would cost a lot less if I was male. Maybe I'm paranoid, but none of the guys I know seem to pay so much every time they bring their car in.

Update: the service on my care was much less expensive than I thought - still a lot more than I expected to spend today. The final cost was $594.16

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

still

My mother is still in the hospital. They have ruled out her breathing difficulty being any heart problem. They were to check her lungs again today. Haven't heard any word on when she'll be able to go home yet. Her two westies, Mac and Maggie are at the kennel and my niece has taken it upon herself to clean Mom's house while she's away. My uncle Ron is visiting her at the hospital, keeping an eye on her, so she is well taken care of. 

MonsterMustDie is still pretty sick with what now sounds like an upper respiratory infection. He won't see a doctor yet and there is nothing I can do but check in on him. He's eating soup and hanging out on the couch with Ellie Cat and watching old movies. 

I'm back to cat house sitting tonight. Tomorrow: car maintenance. It's time for an oil change, brakes, etc. so the early part of my day will be spent watching lobby TV and checking messages on the iPad. 

Monday, October 08, 2012

breath

Just so you know: I just got phone calls from Rachael Perry and Andy Perry letting me know that my mother, Loretta Perry is in the hospital tonight. She came in today with shortness of breath, after having trouble breathing all night. They are keeping her overnight at Kennestone Hospital for tests and observation. No clue what is going on yet. Andy and Mom said it might just be bronchitis but, if memory serves me right, this is not the first time she's suffered from shortness of breath recently. 

Trouble breathing seems to be the tale of many around me this month. This week is on the end of a long illness that my pal Mrs. Lounge has had several weeks now that started as a cold, developed into brochitis, and then further evolved into a fungal respiratory infection brought on by the after affects of antibiotics for the bronchitis and her own constant burning the candle at both ends between work, sick animals, and home maintenance. She had the clue she might need to chill and let herself get better last week when she had a fainting spell at Publix. 

Meanwhile, MonsterMustDie is ill from what we hope is just the effects of too much dust and paint fumes from work as they ready the warehouse for its new occupant, his new corporate employer. We're crossing our fingers and toes that he is not developing bronchitis or something worse. 

As for myself, I'm fine. My only problem is losing my eyesight (getting very night-blind from early cataracts, which will have to be dealt with soon but not immediately). 

Monday, September 24, 2012

missing a human connection

I miss him and think of him every day. I know I can not have him. He deserves to be happy. He is an extraordinary man and a traditional southern gentleman. The fact that he means so much to me makes him one of a kind.

Always seeking what I can never have.

I have been in the wrong place for too many years. Most days I feel as if I've lost myself forever.

He finally phoned on my birthday and offered to "put a smile on (my) face" for my birthday. This threw my heart and brain into an incredible conflict and my mood into a horrible downward spiral that I could not break out of the rest of the day. I had to refuse the offer because he supposedly is in a relationship now and I can not share or risk an impromptu visit from the competition. He is the only one I want but if I'd taken his offer, I doubt he would have any respect for me.

I keep thinking of his stories, of talking with him for hours, of long silver hair and eyes like winter sky.

lost in the ether

My attempt to get to work this morning using the live navigator was a huge fail. For reasons that only Google can fathom, my navigator took me to the geographic, rather than street address, of the company I work at part time. I ended up after several turns on small streets at a dead end cul-de-sac that was behind the company. At the point where the Navigator said “Your destination is on the left” I could see the loading docks at the back of the building through the trees and chain link fence to the side of the road. I had to back track, change Navigation options and app, and use a bit of my own bad sense of direction to get to work. What should have been a 30 minute drive took 45 minutes, so at least it got me in the neighborhood before throwing me into the unknown. Urgh!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

too much wine

Had dinner with friends tonight and opened my mouth a bit too much.
Now, MonsterMustDie does not even want to speak to me tonight. He's that mad.
Note to self: Shut The Fuck Up about your personal, family, and financial life.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Saturday

Very good quality was spent having dinner with a pal last night. I'd love to have more evenings like that, with quality time and meaningful conversation to catch up with each other on what is actually going on in our lives.

Not much else happened since the interview. I went in for a short day to work in Tucker on Friday. Still looking for work or affordable classes wherever I can find either. I know I need to learn Java Script, maybe PHP, and MYSQL, and improve my Dreamweaver skills. I still question the use of CSS, at least from Adobe and MS apps, since it sometimes creates conflicts. Flash seems to have become a thing of the past now. I am not sure what else I could add to my skill set that would improve my ability to find work.

Today, I am planning to be at the East Atlanta Strut, which begins soon at 10:00 a.m. and goes on 11:00 p.m. tonight. Room mate wants to go and bring friends from the neighborhood, so I need to wake him up soon. I am sure it will be a long walk from where we are able to park to the festival by the time we get there. Taking a cab from a public parking lot in a nearby neighborhood would be sooooo much easier but I don't think I will be able to talk them into it. We'll see how easy it is to go there - I could be wrong.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Good Omens

Just when I start feeling sorry for myself in my jobless state again, I get a phone call from one of the temp agencies I am listed with. I have an interview on Thursday morning for a new temporary assignment, which actually happens to be closer to where I will be house-sitting next month than el Rancho. Wish me luck!
In other news, MonsterMustDie and his good cousin finally have his mother out of the neurological facility and in a nursing home. It is an old residence where other members of their family have spent their final years. They have her sleep and meds regulated now and she is much better. She still recognizes her son and niece and is healing from the injuries of weeks ago when she kept falling while in an over/wrongly medicated daze.

Last weekend was big. Saturday night I went with friends to the Beltline Lantern Parade.

Sunday was spent at the neighborhood pool celebrating a friend's birthday. A friend baked a home-made birthday cake that matched the bright Tiki party color theme.




Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Changes

MonsterMustDie's mother is still in the medical facility while they are trying to stabilize her sleep patterns. After that, she should be moving into a nursing home. She is no longer capable of living in a managed care residence. He is still under a lot of stress over all the changes in his life now. He told me that, while it was hard when his father died slowly and painfully, his mother's passing is hitting him much harder than the loss of his father ever could. I am eternally thankful for his cousin who is handling nearly everything that needs to be done for his mother in Alabama.

I will have more time on my hands soon. The part time temp position will be ending soon. They are out of work for me and now I am only going in one or two days a week. The production manager told me fall is always a slow time for them, when they let all the temps go, but the slow-down is coming a lot earlier again this year. I'm looking for any work I can get again, any day of the week. I can move my schedule around at the temp job, which is a low priority now. It's a shame they aren't busier since they seem to like me a lot there.

Next month, I will be house & cat sitting for a month for friends who will be traveling and working in three different countries. I think I will enjoy the "vacation" from el Rancho for a while. Meanwhile, temping and movie extra work keep me on an extremely early schedule, rising at 5:00 a.m., which will necessitate my staying overnight at the house to ensure I have time in the mornings to see to the cats before going to work. Of course, I will be visiting Rancho de WereMonster, but I will not be sleeping here at all.

Looking forward to changes.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

sleepless

I'm up early, after getting out of bed 1st at 3:00am-ish to check on MonsterMustDie, who was sleeping on the sofa, and 2nd at 5:00am after being kept awake by the rain that is now slowing down. It has been a bad couple of weeks for MonsterMustDie and his mother, who is an Alzheimer's patient. When she moved into a managed care facility a few weeks ago, she appeared to be very over-medicated when he and his cousin visited her. Then she got worse in days and was stumbling, falling, and incoherent. They had asked for anti-depressants for her at the residence. Things were suggested to her personal physician who, not to be ordered around, prescribed something completely different. As it turns out, her doctor in Alabama prescribed drugs that have actually sped the Alzheimer's disease progression. She is at a medical facility now that is doing a study of her, and while she is awake more often now, the damage the drug did to her was described as setting her brain on fire. She will have to go into nursing home when she leaves the medical facility. They do not expect any improvement at this point.

The stress is getting to him. Stress trying to remotely care for his mother, with the help of his cousin. Stress from his job ending and waiting for a new job to begin, though that situation is going very well - his previous boss from the current job will be hiring him and another co-worker at the company that he's moved to - meanwhile, he has to keep dealing with helping the people firing them with managing and moving the warehouse and what is left of the Atlanta showroom to NJ and NY respectively. Stress from me being out of work for over two years without any unemployment benefits. It seems like it would be a perfect time for him to move back to Alabama but that is not what he wants to do. He is staying here and waiting for things to work themselves out.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

total recall

I've been cat napping a lot this afternoon. Can't seem to stay awake for long today but the dreams have been amazing. Once again, dream-remembering places and events inside dreams as if they actually happened. I dream of remembering places, schools, and even people that never existed. I dream of buildings and activites in great detail and of people who died a long time ago as if they had been around all along. They appear not as they were then, but as how they would be now.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Home Bound

MonsterMustDie is in Alabama for the day, taking care of his mother. I loaned him my car for the trip. He dropped me off at work this morning and I was lucky enough to get a ride home after work today from a neighbor. Now, I'm stuck at home without a car for the remains of the evening. I'm hoping someone will phone with an offer to go out to dinner or maybe even a ride to the Tiki party that I had and interest in attending tonight. The rainy weather makes this seem like a perfect night for sushi, fire, and rum drinks. Meanwhile, there are bills to pay and cats to feed.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Boom Boom

MonsterMustDie was a a car wreck yesterday. Not his fault, so the other driver's insurance should be paying for most repairs. Fortunately, he was not hurt, except for a contusion in his left hand from the air bag. I'll be driving him around today and tomorrow he is planning to borrow my car to drive to Alabama to move his mother into a managed care facility, now that her Alzheimer's disease has gotten too severe for her to be left alone. He'll take the car after dropping me off at work early in the morning. Not yet sure how I'll be getting back home tomorrow afternoon.

Wednesday, July 04, 2012

Summer Gatherings

June 23 was our Summer Solstice Party & Potluck. It was a large project that was my first attempt at taking advantage of the large back yard we have at Rancho de WereMonster by entertaining outdoors. The idea to have live music played at the party came from The Soogs, who wanted to play in front of people for the first time in years. I invited anyone who wanted to participate to play as well. We started out with six bands or individuals who wanted to play and by the party, that list was whittled down to four who could actually make the party. Four was a much more manageable list to be finished by 10 pm, which is generally the legal limit for outdoor music/noise in residential areas - not that there were anyone immediate to the house that would be disturbed. What makes our back yard perfect for music is we are surrounded by a very good sound buffer. Neighbors to the right of us crank their stereo up to sound like a rave is going on whenever they are not in the house. Th neighbors across the street are always asking if they are too noisy because of the large commercial quality sound system they have. Behind us is the roar of Pleasantdale Road. To our right is a park. No problem, except for the Republicans up the street who did not appreciate the cars - none of which were blocking anyone. That is a house too far up the street even be bothered by sound and who always have a large number of cars parked in their driveway, yard and up the street so it was a bit of a surprise when they called the police on our party at 7pm. The police hung out, told us not to stop the party, just watch the volume levels, and were has nice as they could be. The music went on until 10pm wiith no problem. MonsterMustDie was upset at the site of police but I think by now he's mostly gotten over it. I am hoping he lets me have another party like the Summer Solstice Potluck next year. Preferably if The Soogs and others are willing, I would do this again in the Spring, when the weather is a bit cooler. We were lucky enough to have the party on the last weekend of tolerable temperatures before the real heat wave hit last week. I am extremely grateful to Brian, Paul, and Joe for volunteering to build the stage and to Allen for bringing his lighting and sound equipment. The extra trash bins that Brian brought were also a big help and kept me from scrabbling as much all day to empty trash and clean up. They made the party a huge success. There was a lot of good eats and enough left overs to skip buying groceries the week afterward and that kinda helped out with the overall cost of things. I really should have provided an donation jar of some sort just in case anyone wanted to contribute to paying off this event or paying for the next gathering. 

Last weekend, the one thing I did was go to a Grateful Gluttons potluck gathering at the Ryttershire. The heat was so oppressive I had a headache the next morning from dehydration despite bringing a large bottle of water that I emptied while I was there. It is always great to see everyone there in Grant Park. The food was good. Note: IMHO deviled eggs should never made with sweet pickles, even if they are home made. The pickles were very good on their own or on crackers but not in other foods. The pickled watermelon rinds were good and tart and crunchy - quite refreshing. I brought a small batch of home made blueberry hand pies. Didn't make as many as I'd planned because I did not have quite enough dough. I should stock lots of frozen pasty next time or start earlier and double crust recipes. I should also remember to bring an extra bag of ice to any summer gathering, whether it is asked for or not - that seems like something there is never enough of. 


The final act at the Summer Solstice Potluck was Jerome Newton - a bit of classic glam including old Bowie and Eno. 

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

every other day

I am, for the time being, working three days a week - Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. This effectively makes every other day a weekend and every day after that a Monday all over again. I am currently on the Saturday-Monday cycle. Today is Saturday again. Tomorrow is Monday for the second time this week.

In other news, last night I went with our neighbor, Amanda, to an India vegetarian cooking class at the Buford Highway Farmers Market. Came home with a grocery gift certificate, a handful of loose recipes, and a belly full of fresh Indian food. Last night was the first time I've made it to one of the BHFM cooking classes after intending check it out for months. Thanks to Amanda, I had the nudge to do it by knowing I had someone to go with. I'd like to attend other classes as often as money and time will allow. It gives me an opportunity to get out of the house and be around other people as well as learn something new. All good things.

This evening I have more social plans. Looking forward to meeting Mrs. Lounge and J.Paul for dinner in the VA Highlands neighborhood. Because of my current financial status, I'll actually be eating a small meal before I leave the house so I won't be tempted to spend too much at the restaurant. I've been having a lot of appetizer plates or soup at dinner out with friends and that seems to be a good system for me at this time. Drinks are, of course, completely out of the question. I have not been drinking coffee or spiritous beverages since I had food poisoning a couple of weeks ago. I plan to stay off alcohol and caffeine for a long time for both financial and health reasons. I am sure I will make an exception if I am presented with a situations where the vice is free and the quality is good.

Sunday, June 03, 2012

health, mind, and the approach of summer

My body is falling apart this month. The week before Memorial Day I was downed by a 3-part combination of head cold, food poisoning, and caffeine withdrawal. I'm still waking up a bit stiff in the neck and back each morning with a slight headache. The head cold is still barely hanging on mostly as a sore thoat but I'm definitely on the mend on all sides.

This weekend has been less productive than it could have been but not too bad, all the same. Missed Rock & Roll MonsterBash at the Starlight Drive-In, which probably would have been pushing my physical limits after the food poisoning I had over the Memorial Day weekend. I did make it the the Indie Craft Experience show at Ambient Plus Studio.

Still trying to put things together for the summer party. Suffering from a lot of tunnel vision in my thoughts. Kinda a forest and trees scenario in my mind this week. I focus on one thing to the extent that everything else is out of sight. Perhaps this is a lingering result of the past couple of weeks.


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Days End

Got home from a very nice gathering of friends tonight. Housemate comes up to me with a big smile.
Me: you smell like beer.
John: I AM beer.

Monday, May 14, 2012

too much waiting

Last week was mostly spent waiting. First, I waited for my dental appointment on Tuesday. Then, I mostly waited 14 hours while doing film extra work in Peachtree City. Then, I showed up to pick up a check and help out on building film sets and waited all day for the "wall" that I was to finish to be made (it was not done that day) and went home having accomplished nothing and with no check, either. Saturday, I could take no more waiting and bowed out of showing up again on the film set over the weekend for fear of wasting my days. Just when I thought puttering around all day at home was awful, I found something worse - being stuck all day in a chair or watching from the corner of the room while everyone else works or discusses things I've been out of the loop on. 

On the upside, I did make it out to see Dark Shadows on Sunday. It's a very quirky comedy with an all star cast that is impressive. Came home from that and watched a Eureka marathon while editing photos the rest of the day. Called my mom and tried to make arrangements for a Mother's Day visit, but she wasn't really up to it so we agreed to find a week in the future to go out to Babette's Cafe for a nice dinner while Halibut is still on the menu. 

Tonight, we're due for social planning meeting to send out the final invitation to the summer event at Rancho de WereMonster that I've been working on. Design by committee is never easy. 

Monday, May 07, 2012

hot pre-summer weekend

I did a few things this week. 

Thursday was a rare day of temp work at a very nice office nearby on a very old computer using very old software. What was supposed to be a 2-day job only took me one day to complete. Hopefully, they will call me back in when any changes are ready to be made. 

Friday was dinner and a movie with friends. I went to see The Avengers with MonsterMustDie, Fun Lisa, and Mr. Bunny & Cindi. Great movie - might go for a second time. Josh Whedon understands Marvel. 

Saturday, after some difficulty getting my motivation to go out for a long time in the pre-summer heat, I took my camera to the Fairy House Tour Of Homes at the Lake Claire Land Trust. Oddly, the turnout was not as big as last year. It was a hugely popular event in 2011 and while there were still plenty of children creating structures to welcome back the summer fairies it hardly as much as last year, when there were beautiful magic little alters to nature everywhere I looked.  
Came home, showered, and went for a neighborhood walk in the cool evening to enjoy the full moon. 

Sunday was my day to enjoy the Art-B-Que in Avondale Estates. Lots of really great art and craft and food trucks. Saw some inspiring studios and met some very nice people there. First stop for myself was the King Of Pops. MonsterMustDie had to have a Palookaville corndog and was thrilled to be given the lucky number 13 on his ticket. We stuck around long enough to try the whole hog that Pine Street Market had been cooking since the night before and were given what seemed like half a pound of meat as well as fresh slaw and potatoes for 5 dollars. I had brought a cooler with cold drinks, so we stashed our leftovers in it before leaving. We used some of it to make pulled pork sandwiches for dinner, and will probably finish it tonight along with a good salad.  
On the way home, I went on the weekend treasure hunt with MonsterMustDie, who got home in time for to return to his eBay sales and quality time with his wood shop.  
I laid on the floor for a while and cooled off, showered, headed to East Atlanta for a visit with Gretchen, who was hanging out a the EARL with Chaz and Sandra after returning from another trip to Australia. She was extremely jet lagged but very happy with her trip and experiences on the other side of the globe. She showed photos on her iPhone and talked about music, men, food, strange animals, beautiful old buildings, and the cultural mixture of Australia. 

All of the heat and more walking than usual for me caused a headache last night, probably from dehydration. I took a PM and slept solidly for about 7 hours. I would love to maintain some degree of that activity level for the next week... or months (... or years). The heat was cruel to me but being around people I like and staying busy was great. 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

only plants speak to me this week.

Looking for a reason to leave the house today. Yesterday, I did not leave home at all except for a brief trip to the post office to send a package for my house mate. Today, I've spent most of the morning in the yard, weeding while trying to avoid touching the numerous sprouting poison ivy. I'll be out to pull as much of that up as I can while wearing gloves and long sleeves later. Saw the first pod on the snap peas that I planted in February. The tomatoes I started are still tiny plants that haven't done much, possibly from lack of rain. I'm thinking about popping the rest of my tomato and chile seedlings in the ground today or tomorrow between the showers that are forecast for this week. I'll probably do it after the ground is wet and soft. The cilantro I planted is doing better this year than it has before. The planter box in back has leeks and carrots on either side of an enormous parsley that survived the winter and is about to flower. I know I should probably cut it back but I haven't had any need of it since I haven't been cooking much this week. Might be time to make chicken piccata or sauce for pasta.

I seem to have worked my way out of any role I might have had in the latest film by the Twins and I suppose that's okay. I've recommended people and resources to them that have proven to be very useful. I wish there was an official job title for that.

As usual, I really need some work to keep me happy and busy.


Friday, April 06, 2012

Looking at the weekend

Still waiting for a reason to shower and put on clothes today.


Tomorrow, I should be busy finishing the small freelance job I have putting together a brochure for a client in Texas, of all places, who found me on CraigsList. I don't know what the chances are that I will be paid for this (I have reason to distrust small clients and the news feed has me distrusting Craigs List) it is still a very good opportunity to be active and keep things up to date and in memory.
I also have a haircut appointment with a new stylist, which has me feeling a bit anxious, on Saturday afternoon. It's a thing I can't really get out of because I've paid in advance for a flock of haircuts at this salon, which saves me money, and my regular guy has left the business. Wish me luck with this new girl.
In the evening, I will probably be on site for the film trailer shoot of the project created by The Twins, unless I am chained to a computer, working.


Sunday, I am honored to be invited to an Easter Bonnet Brunch with friends so my Easter holiday should be quite nice.


Meanwhile, I found and tried a good recipe for vegan German Chocolate cupcakes. German Chocolate is MonsterMustDie's favorite cake and, with his birthday and the Goth Potluck happening at el Rancho de WereMonster on April 28, I need to be prepared

Sunday, April 01, 2012

Happy Rose

We had just enough rain Friday night to make everything spring into bloom.


Thursday, March 22, 2012

quiet life

The song in my head when I woke up with this morning was Death Or Glory by The Clash.

I had dreams of a gigantic stone mosaic in a Japanese sculpture exhibit. It was nearly three stories tall, made of granite and marble in various shades of gray and the image on it - was a chair. It was an enormous monument to a mid-century modern chair.

My life is too boring lately.

Tonight, after juggling events and friends, I have plans to attend the neighborhood ladies Bunco game. In celebration of Spring, I am bringing roast asparagus wrapped in pancetta with a side of meatless roast asparagus. I hope the ladies like it.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Vernal Equinox 2012

As it turns out, I did get a bit of activity last week. Started with having a photo gig fall through that was immediately replaced by two all-night extras gigs that paid more. Followed that with one entire day spent mostly sleeping. Housemate said he was starting to become concerned about my 24-hour nap after the 48-hours of activity. I was kinda okay with having two days of nothing after that.

Saturday was Saint Patrick’s day and it was spent at two different birthday parties for friends.

Sunday was spent recovering from Saturday. Mostly, MonsterMustDie needed to recover from being a little too drinky on Saturday. I put more of the tomato seedlings I started in the garden as well as leeks that I decided to try this year.

Monday, I had an evening production meeting for the short film project I am a part of.

Today, I'm back to really wanting some more activity. The morning was spent thus far weeding the front yard a bit, trimming back the “monkey grass” and listening to music loudly while considering the future. I really need to live more in the now - the future just makes me anxious. Now, by afternoon, I've decided I've spent enough time outdoors with the temperature climbing and the second or third day of record-breaking pollen counts. Fortunately, the pollen has not bothered me at all yet but I don’t think I should push my luck, despite not being allergic.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

bad week

I had a good dinner with several friends on Sunday evening at Rose of India. Seems like everyone has been having a bad week. My little problems have been small compared to what else has gone on around me - embezzling, suicide, death (by natural and unnatural causes), etc. Crazy things were going on this week.

I thought I had my federal income tax filed that afternoon but by the evening I had an email that my form was rejected for having the wrong birthdate. The IRS had my birthdate wrong. They also wanted to know where I was born and I have no public record on my birth place. I was told I would have to go to an office with my birth certificate in hand.

Monday was full of complications. I went to the IRS downtown to deal with the issue of my birth certificate, full of anxiety, and was fortunate enough to have very little wait before being helped by real human beings on the other side of the counter. After that, I phoned MonsterMustDie to let him know that things were presumably worked out on my relationship with the IRS and he insisted that I should go to the SSA office, on the 28th floor of the same building, to be certain that my Social Security account was okay. So I walked back inside and up the elevator for a longer wait to speak to someone at the SSA office. The woman behind the thick glass had a severe speech impediment. Between her way of speaking, the acoustics of the room, and probably my own old rocker ears, it was a bit like a Monty Python sketch understanding what she was saying and then waiting several minutes while she peered at a monitor in long gaps before the next question would arise. All I know is she said I was okay and a new card would be mailed out to me. Then my time was up and she was on to the next person waiting. I didn't get to ascertain that the card would come to my post office box and not my very insecure street address at the midtown condo, where my voter registration still resides - and where I might return some day. I know Elena will let me know promptly if I get any mail there.

Storm clouds but no storm here today. Just a drizzling now and then. The forecast has tomorrow being very warm with a high in the 80's. I'm feeling anxious tonight with nothing lined up for tomorrow.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

T shirt for sale

First  prints of the T-shirts we will be selling to raise money for making Zombie Crush, a short film made for kids by kids.



Tuesday, March 06, 2012

rant

Forgive me for complaining. Please look away if you don't want to be brought down. I just have to get this out now and then.

I hate living in my current situation without the steady income that would give me the freedom to live independently. It's like living alone without any of the benefits of shaping my own life. I miss the freedom to come and go as I please and take part in things that really interest me. I hate living without love or sex or shared activities that I feel should be part of a relationship. I hate feeling like I am always on a leash. I hate the feeling of impending doom from my withering savings. I do not want to be here.

All of this was made especially painful today by the fact that I have no prospects at the moment and no temp work this week. I had a bit of work editing photoshop files for friends last week, which I am very grateful for, but that work has already run dry and I don't see anything else coming to me any time soon. My room mate is more controlling as time goes on. My taxes still aren't done and that is hanging heavily over me and the room mate, who said he would do them two weeks ago, still has not touched that job and I don't have a CPA to do it for me.

Lack of money affects how I socialize, how I eat, how healthy a lifestyle I can keep, my appearance, my ability to travel. I don't qualify for any sort of college loan and no real college will let me start classes with out a guarantee of a loan. Even if I do find a way to go back to school, I am apparently too old to be hired by anyone so I still have to fend for myself regardless of whether I have a new degree or certification of any sort. I am over qualified to be hired in anything simple like retail and I have no recent retail experience because I have worked so long in corporate or specifically skilled jobs.

My 401k and retirement funds disappeared when my father died and my brother said he had no idea where they were. I suspect that I have paid a large part of my niece and nephew's college education. When I changed jobs, I let my father handle moving the 401k to my mutual funds account. My father put my brother in charge of my funds before he died. It was not a huge fortune that would keep my for the rest of my days, but it was a substantial amount that might have funded classes, new equipment, and independence. The only income I have these days is the rent I get from my condo. I'm not sure if that small amount is worth it by the time I pay my half of the rent here. It keeps me afloat but just barely.

Anyway, life would be happier if I had at least one or two of these things I lack. A job would solve most of my problems immediately. I always seem to be tied down by one thing or another in this life. I run from captivity into a box. I form relationships with people who move to places I can not follow them to. I pick the wrong industry to make my career in.

Sunday, March 04, 2012

Billboard in Sandy Springs

I don't think this is a good recommendation for choosing a dentist.


Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Favorite not-quite inlaws

Here's a list of favorite boyfriends’ families. This does not mean the boyfriends were my favorites necessarily but I really liked and still sometimes miss their parents and siblings, who were lovely.

Family:
  • Stuart Olsen
  • Carlos Loret de Mola
  • Mark Bregger
  • Brad Stein
  • Murray Sabloff

Mothers:
  • David Khalil
  • Scott Burns

I generally liked everyone's mothers and got along well with them. The mothers and I had the same goal - to take care of their sons and keep them out of trouble or danger, so we were united in our efforts. Some mothers, I felt closer to than other, of course.

Offspring:
  • Spike
  • Ray
I never try to be motherly with other people's children. They already have mothers. I only hope to be viewed with respect and possibly (in the very best long-term circumstances) as an equal in their father's house. For the life of me, I can't wrap my head around why anyone, male or female, would be in competition with someone's children or replace their ex.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

repeating sync

Odd. Looks like half the mommy-bloggers I read and friends with very young children are going through divorces now. At the same time. I wonder what gives and if it has something to do with the pressures of this economy - perhaps a lot of couples just need one less concern or feeling of responsibility while they are trying to hold their lives together. Maybe they need to lift some of their burdens. Perhaps fathers are running away now from the tether of it all too as this economy makes everyone feel trapped. I just find it curious.

It reminds me of an old family story my grandmother told me years ago. When my mother's family was going through the hardest part of their lives economically, my grandfather split. What they told the family was that he had gone out of state to look for work but in reality, he was fleeing the burden of a wife and children and had taken a mistress in another town. My grandmother saved herself and her children by absolutely refusing to grant him a divorce. Her family, who were very proper and had a lot of public servants and ministers in it, let it be known that they did not divorce. Period. Eventually, my grandfather returned and they stayed together the rest of their lives. I do not think that tactic would ever work today and I do not think most women would think they had to live in an unhappy marriage to survive today.



One thought leads to another.

The marriages of both sets of grandparents I had were based much more on survival than on affection by the time I came along. None of my grandparents slept in the same bed and they had their own rooms. They got along and were polite to each other but there had not been a relationship between them in long time. That makes me also wonder if we expect too much from our relationships or if our grandparents expected too little.

It's still a man's world, financially, but things are much better than they were for our grandmothers and mothers. Married men still far out-live single men but single men seem to embrace chaos. More women seem to require order. Nature or nurture? That said, I do know a few very together single-parenting fathers and it is interesting to note that there are few men in this world more attractive to women than the responsible, nurturing, single fathers. I wonder if they know what rock-stars they are in the eyes of a lot of the women I know because they seem rare and extraordinary. Single mothers are never viewed the same way by men. Women usually have to protect their children from the men in their lives. Men see the mothers as potential financial burdens and steer clear of them. Being a single parent seems like the ultimate independence and the greatest measure of how responsible you are or not. It also makes the extended family of grandparents, aunts, and uncles much more important. Most of the people in my family - in multiple generations - would never have survived without the help of sisters, parents, and grandparents.

sick

Everyone but the cat has a cold this week. MonsterMustDie is taking a second day off work, after getting up this morning and deciding he feels worse than he did yesterday morning. I am on the mend, but producing glorious amounts of mucus and trying to to speak and/or cough. Mostly, I am worried about the room mate because this is the first cold he's had in a very long time. The last time he had a cold, things went very very badly for him.

Thursday, February 02, 2012

time

I am kicking myself for wasting time that I should be spending my job search. Not being very productive today. Talking in squeaks. Voiceless with a cold. I can't get motivated to send letters and resumes out today. Feeling poor and woebegone while waiting to file my income taxes. I also need to put myself in a news blackout, since everything I see and hear gets me down. It makes me feel like my job search is hopeless and that I will eventually die homeless, in the street, bereft of family or friends. It's a downward spiral that begins when I hear or read about anything social, economic, political or environmental.

On a more positive view, the warm moist weather outside is causing a bit of Spring fever in me as well. I want to rake leaves and plant seeds now. Ladybugs have been swarming the house for weeks now and I have no idea where they are coming from. I've never seen them is such numbers here before but they are inside and outside the house. I can look out the window and see them flying around the bushes and look at the doors and windows and see them coming inside the house. Mostly, they seem to be coming into MonsterMustDie's office. Every corner around his desk is littered with ladybugs.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Der Biergarten

One should only go to Der Biergarten to drink and not to eat. We had been there only once before, when the German restaurant was newly opened, and our experience was not as bad then as it was last night.

I ordered the Gegrillte Forelle mit Senfsauce (grilled trout), which was over-cooked and so charred outside that it was inedible, even after removing all of the skin from the fish (I was starving and desperate for a meal). Wasted my money on that dish. MonsterMustDie ordered the Wiener Schitzel (veal) and left more than half of it on his plate. Later, he told me that half of it was too dry to eat and had the texture of cardboard. This tells me they probably prepare everything in advance and reheat it in a microwave or on the grill. Awful food. The only thing I liked was the smoked salmon that sat on top of the hard-as-rock potato pancake. This makes the $72 price tag on the meal for two - where all we enjoyed were his beers and a few slices of lox - especially heartbreaking.

As the cherry on top, the parking lot across the street was supposed to accept validated tickets from the restaurant. It did not. And apparently the credit card reader was not working for anyone either, so we had to dig for every spare bit of change we had to pay for "free" parking between $5 to $10 for everyone.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

go on

Not being as successful as I would like to be with keeping busy or spending time with friends. Seems like everyone else is too busy for me lately. Clark phoned yesterday. He's too busy to hang out yet too, but we did promise to meet for lunch at Java Monkey in the future. He enjoys our odd conversations. It made me happy to hear from him.

Murray, a.k.a. Baby Maurice is supposedly going through divorce proceedings again. He is strangely a bit more cheerful than usual these days when he phones to complain about his life. My favorite malcontent, his consistency is reassuring.

Tomorrow is Vinophiles, which I am looking forward to participating in. Haven't decided what to make as my food item yet. I could go with my mushroom bourguignon or try something newer and simpler/faster to make. What I really want to have with red wines of Bordeaux is pomme frites but I'm not so good at fried foods. I know, that's unbelievable considering that I am a Southern woman, but I don't trust myself to make something light and crisp on the first try so that rules out making it myself for a companion food. Since I have all day to cook, time really is not a consideration anyway. I can always try something more daring early in the day and, if it fails, I'd still have time for another grocery run an cooking session.

The highlight of today was receiving the shipment of organic blood oranges that I had agreed to split with a couple of neighbors. I'm looking forward to splitting up the box of fresh oranges and getting repaid for my part of the investment.

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Foggy Day

The murky drive home from Debra's memorial service.


Not at my best.

I'm having one of those days when I need to just shut up because I can't say anything right. I feel like I am a prisoner in my own life these days. Trying to be a better ghost.

Thursday, January 05, 2012

downed pine tree



This is apparently the cause of the power failure on Monday night. A neighbor’s pine tree was blown down across the street. Usually, it is 1. sweetgum or 2. poplar trees that fall here. The pines, ugly and common as they are, stay put most of the time.

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

cold night

Last night was the coldest night of this season so far, with lows in the 20s. It was also horribly windy as the cold air collided with the very warm air Atlanta has been enjoying. Trees and branches fell and our power went out around 8:00 p.m. so we spent the coldest night without electricity or heat. And I had just started a load of clothes in the washer.

The best part of the night, other than turning off the TV, was having the first fire of the season and being able to enjoy sitting by the fire because the downstairs area was still cleared out from the Winter Solstice party. Unfortunately, Ellie has no fear of fire just like she has no fear of water so we could not leave cat or fire unattended for a second. Eventually, with some protest, she calmed down and settled onto the sheepskin of self-comfort.

Power and heat is back on this morning. The clothes that were stuck in the washer are now being washed again. The old Dutch man is horribly grumpy this morning. He was throwing out his gloves because they had a tiny hole in them - that he caused by petting the cat belly while wearing them - so he was raging about no gloves to wear and no scarf because he had already thrown away all of his scarves for having moth/ carpet beetle holes in them. My mother had given him a scarf for Christmas which he will not wear (so I've taken it) because it is acrylic and not Merino wool. I started to suggest some of my old scarves or looking for tattered-but-large gloves that might have somehow escaped the dumpster but he said he did not want look like a hillbilly.

Now he's out in the world, sleep deprived, with cold hands and throat, an his mood is not getting any better. Watch out world!

cold night

Last night was the coldest night of this season so far, with lows in the 20s. It was also horribly windy as the cold air collided with the very warm air Atlanta has been enjoying. Trees and branches fell and our power went out around 8:00 p.m. so we got to spend the coldest night without electricity or heat. And I had just started a load of clothes in the washer.

The best part of the night, other than turning off the TV, was having the first fire of the season and being able to enjoy sitting by the fire because the downstairs area was still cleared out from the Winter Solstice party. Unfortunately, Ellie has no fear of fire just like she has no fear of water so we could not leave cat or fire unattended for a second.

Power and heat is back on this morning. The clothes that were stuck in the washer are now being washed again. The old Dutch man is horribly grumpy this morning. Watch out, world!

Sunday, January 01, 2012

reconnect or death

As if these last two years have not been bad enough, there is a strong statement made when someone you were once close to dies weeks ago and none of your mutual friends bother to let you know about it. I just realized I am out of a group that I thought I was still a member of. Considering that I hardly participate in anything these days like I used to, I don't blame anyone. There is no doubt that I appear not to care or have gone my own way somewhere else. The truth is, I've gone nowhere, done nothing, been terribly lonely and bored on top of dealing with low self esteem issues from lack of work, play, and sex. The work thing, I have no control over but I am still working at it as best I can think of what to do. I need to pursue relationships with the people the people I hold dear more in earnest this year despite what goes on anywhere else.

I suppose this is my New Years Resolution: Stop moping. Make things happen with other human beings. Try to follow up on every thing.

I am open to more suggestions on what I could be missing. Perhaps someone else can see the things flying over my head.