Always seeking what I can never have.
I have been in the wrong place for too many years. Most days I feel as if I've lost myself forever.
He finally phoned on my birthday and offered to "put a smile on (my) face" for my birthday. This threw my heart and brain into an incredible conflict and my mood into a horrible downward spiral that I could not break out of the rest of the day. I had to refuse the offer because he supposedly is in a relationship now and I can not share or risk an impromptu visit from the competition. He is the only one I want but if I'd taken his offer, I doubt he would have any respect for me.
I keep thinking of his stories, of talking with him for hours, of long silver hair and eyes like winter sky.
