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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

living in the shambles

Just watching MonsterMustDie continue to destroy his house. Today, he broke a window in the mud room, which is also the laundry room in back of the house. Now, I can look forward to trying to clean clothes in freezing temperatures all winter. He says he is not going to pay someone to replace the window and he won't board it up because it will look awful.

We still do not have a full functioning bathroom in the house. We did have one bathroom with a functioning bath and sink and electrical outlets until he decided to pull out the old sink and mirrored cabinet. Then, while that wall had to have new sheetrock installed, he had the electrical outlets moved but not installed completely. There is also no door now on that bathroom after he took it off.

I spoke to my mother again after she was checked into her room at Kennestone hospital. She said she was feeling better. They are giving her some very heavy blood thinners for the clots that were caused by the treatment she had for anemia. She is taking Coumadin orally and Heparin in the drip. She doesn't want anyone to see her or try do do anything with her house while she's is in the hospital but my cousin's son and grandson spent most of the day with her in her room. The toddler ate part of my mother's hospital dinner and they both stayed there until he got too bored and fussy to keep in the room.


Monday, December 29, 2014

post xmas update

We had a good holiday with family and friends on a very brief 2-day trip to Atlanta. At my brother's house for Christmas dinner, my mother looked well and happy. My nephew and his girlfriend were both there. My niece was there cracking jokes and making up odd holiday songs, while her fiancé is in New York visiting family.

We had a great dinner at Babette's Cafe with Sandy, Chaz, and friends to celebrate her birthday on Friday.

Saturday, we drove back home. The highlight of the trip was an unexpected trip to a mall where everything was on sale now and MonsterMustDie found a new black suit to wear at my niece's wedding and I found some fun clothes to wear for winter events, if any exist for me.

Sunday, MonsterMustDie's friend Mr. Smith came by for a visit and stayed overnight. That was a good opportunity to pick his brain for ideas on how to set up the living room. I had hoped we could have used him to help MonsterMustDie re-hang the bathroom door but that never happened. The guys were too busy drinking beer and talking about mid-century designers and the antiques market. However, we at least have the guest-bedroom furniture set up now.

Today,

I just got off the phone with my mother. She phoned to let me know she is going into the hospital for several days to deal with blood clots in her legs. Just when she looked so well at my brother's house on Christmas day because her blood sugar and anemia were under control, now this has come up. My uncle is taking her to kennel her two West Highland terriers and then on to Kennestone. She is too proud to let anyone close to her help with things like picking up odds and ends at her house to bring to her or taking care of the dogs. I really wish I could be there to clean her house while she is out of it. We have such a difficult relationship, I can't be helpful while she is there but without her there I could take care of some of the nastiness ... and the people nearby who she could trust the most to take care of things for her are the last people she wants to see her home so she won't let them do a thing *sigh*. 

Monday, December 22, 2014

zippers and mirrors

Yesterday, I finally tried on the black dress I got for my neice's wedding in February. I had not tried it on yet because I was waiting to have a mirror up to try it on in front of but now I am running out of time to make any returns or exchanges and it is obvious I am not getting a mirror here. Other than having a sticky zipper in back, the dress fits perfectly. As long as that zipper works, I have something nice to wear under a long coat. Now, to decide on what shoes I can wear with it. It is a midlength dress, so it will not be too warm and, with a classic shape, it will not look good with high boots that might keep my legs warmer. Dressing fancy is always a challenge.

Yesterday was the winter solstice. MonsterMustDie spent most of it working in the back yard, planting ferns from his mother's house and spreading mulch and breaking down a few more boxes to haul off to a dumpster. He sanded the ceiling of the living room in the afternoon and found more cracks and dents to plaster and leave to dry. I was expecting to finish painting the living room but ended up doing nothing. Spent most of the day pacing around the house or listening to BBC in the office while web-surfing. I could not find anything to be motivated about. No need to cook because there are plenty of leftovers from Saturday that need to be eaten now. There are cookies from a neighbor and sent by mail from a friend in Atlanta, so no need to bake anything.

A neighbor came by and brought a plate of home-made Christmas cookies that accompanied an invitation to a neighborhood get-together on New Year's Day. I RSVP'd yes immediately and was looking forward to having an opportunity to meet someone - anyone - in this place. I don't know any of our neighbors and this gave me something to look forward to here. Last night, knowing about my plans to meet the neighbors, MonsterMustDie phoned friends in Alabama who have recently purchased an apartment in Asheville, and made New Year's Eve plans with them in Asheville. He is not saying if this includes spending New Year's Day and night in Asheville (probably, but he's not saying) so I will have to cancel my RSVP to meet the neighbors.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Hung over

Thursday morning, there was an official ribbon-cutting ceremony for MonsterMustDie's employer that was attended by the Governor, Mayor, and several city council members. I came with me camera and took a few casual photos to post and share. That evening after work, we went out to eat with some of MonsterMustDie's coworkers and a business associate at the restaurant in the J.H. Adams Inn. This was the first good meal I’ve had in High Point since we've been there. The building is on the historic register for the city, having been originally a residence for the wealthiest man in the city and later serving as a funeral home for decades before being converted into a hotel. It is cozy and very traditional but as a whole very nice. I would certainly recommend it to any visitors we might have in the future who would want more private accomdations than Casa WereMonster.

Yesterday, my mood hit a new low here due entirely to inactivity and financial worries. The high point of the day was waiting on and recieving delivery of the new sofa for the still-unfinished living room. The rest of the day was empty.
Although I am fortunate to have my residential needs covered, I  still worry about things like keeping an ISO, gas in my car, and insurance - among some things. I also still don't know anyone here except MonsterMustDie and some of his coworkers. There is nothing for me to do in this house most of the day while we are still living out of boxes. Otherwise I could at least pacify myself with creative activities.  
I need to find a job close to home that gets me out of the house and put some cash in my pockets.


Friday, December 12, 2014

Heading into Winter


All other creatures in Casa WereMonster are asleep while I am drinking red wine and reading  “The Old Magic Of Christmas” by Linda Raedisch. 

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Couldn't call it unexpected

Of course after the events of Friday, today  is my last day on assignment at this company.  I have to say it's a relief.  I have not had any work here in graphic design or in prepress using Adobe CS. All I've done is layout and output plates and what they really need in this position is a pressman-mechanic who is  just a bit pc-savy.

Monday, December 08, 2014

Splash

I got to work this morning and the guy is spraying water from a loose hose all over the processor and nearby cubicles.  Some over spray hit me as I came through the door.

Then, to confirm this not a job I should be doing, he has to lift these gigantic roller units into the sink.

Sunday, December 07, 2014

perhaps I am an ingrate

My first Friday at my new temp job and my first “Oh, Hell, No!” instance occurred. At the very beginning, when I was just interviewing, I told both this company and my placing temp agency that I am not a mechanic or big and strong enough (and far too desk-educated) to be a laborer. My first Friday, one of the guys there came up to show me how to do my new job - dismantling and cleaning the giant processors in the plate-maker. I have taken care of smaller processors and plate-makers 20 years ago for more pay than I am getting now but this is not part of my deal. He winces at my inability to align in one stroke the extra-long film containers that are beyond my wingspan. Then he tries to get me to dip my hands into the chemical tanks with no rubber gloves or tools - he told me to just wrap a shop rag around my fingers. I held up my hands, dangled my fingers and, as nicely as I could muster, told him I was not doing that without at least wearing rubber gloves and preferrably with an apron on as well. End of story.

We'll see what they expect of me and they'll hear what I expect from them on Monday.


Thursday, December 04, 2014

empty

I really hate living like I am here, all alone, but at least I have a place to live and a temp job to occupy my days. I appreciate those things in my life. Now, I just wish they weren't the only things in my life.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Ghost Town

So, with nothing else to do here, I took the job I do not want that is a 35-minute commute away. We'll see how things work out. I have to be there by 8:00 a.m. and the first week will be just two days because I already told them I will be traveling on Wednesday for the holiday. At least, with a job I don't have any expectations of other than filling my time and maybe giving me a little pocket money, I don't feel bad at all at telling them how and when I will work. I am truly hoping I will be pleasantly surprised after I start work there. Meanwhile, I will try to look at other local options for at least keeping up a marketable skill set.

I am looking forward to spending time in Atlanta again next week. Wondering how much I can do while I am there.

The area we live in now is dead most of the year and is mostly a retiree community. There are two 2-week convention seasons in Spring and in Autumn. Between that, every business closes it's doors except the bars, which are rather unimaginative. There must be some hidden pearls here but I have not yet made it out enough to find them. That said, I know it means that I really need to work on making my own groove happen.

Monday, November 17, 2014

mirror mirror

With any luck, I will have a mirror to groom myself in front of by Thursday night and a bathroom sink again by Sunday evening. The job that is a 30-minute drive from the house, that I interviewed for and decided I had no interest, in will not take no for an answer and they want me to come in at least as a temporary employee this week. I still don't have my own house key.

Nothing is working out for me this month, so far.

Friends in Georgia have invited us to spend Thanksgiving with them and I look forward to the possibility of doing that in the old neighborhood with people I know and love.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

There is no joy in my life this month.

I am tired of living without a single room that is functional here. I would at least like to have one complete bathroom and a real bed to sleep on. If I can't have a job to work outside of the house, at least I'd like to have a house that didn't feel like a prison.

I do not want to be a joy-killer to someone who is living their dream of home ownership for the first time but he is making bad decisions. Rather than concentrate on having a functional home first and then addressing surface and aesthetic issues later, he has decided to immediately start remaking every room at once and doing all of the work himself. This means there is not a single room here that is functional.

One bathroom now has a chunk out of the tub from replacing the tile and there are no plans to replace the tub - he just intends to live with it. In that same bathroom, there is no sink now because he took out the pedestal sink that was in it and does not have one that will fit the uneven walls to go in now. And there is a tiny and constant leak of water that slowly rises out of the detached pipes were the sink was.

The other bathroom has no hot water and a rusted, nasty medicine cabinet.

The only bed is an inflatable one. It is a very nice inflatable bed that my mother gave us a couple of years ago, because we did not have a guest room and I wanted something other than the floor to accommodate overnight company. It was okay for a few nights but now I am waking up with weird bruises. I assume that is because the air mattress is so hard.

The bedroom closet had a set of racks and shelves in it that he dismantled because it looked cheap to him. There are now shelves in the empty little room that was the bedroom closet now so the only thing in there is the cat's litterbox.

I am still living out of boxes for most things. There is no TV. Thankfully, there is WiFi so it's not all bad. My office, with the exception of my computer, is still in boxes. Somehow, my file cabinet was upturned in shipping and unloaded inches from the closet door. This means 1. I will need a handtruck and help to move the file cabinet enough to open the drawers to access all my folders, etc. 2. when I did manage to open the top drawer just a couple of inches, I could see paper was everwhere. I will have to empty both drawers and reorganize every scrap of paper in the cabinet when I can get inside of it.

I no longer have a food processor, blender, or slow-cooker.

The backyard is full of discarded moving boxes that I am still cutting down and putting in cans as they fit, week by week. We have three bins for city pickups: one to hold all household trash for the week,  one for recycling that they pick up every two weeks, and one for yard trash. They prefer leaves to be put in clear plastic bags in this city - not paper. I see no logic in this. I think everything goes on the same truck and ultimately into the same landfill regardless of what it is. If it does not fit in one bin, it does not get picked up. I am filling the bins as much as possible for each pickup until we can hire a service to pick up the large stuff that will need to be hauled off by professionals.

The rest of the house is in need of painting before any of the shelving and furniture can be set up in a useful manner. Every wall is covered with holes, putty, and primer.  Nearly every electrical socket is dangling out of the wall.

The back sunroom/porch is a dumping ground of tools and parts.


Tuesday, November 04, 2014

New Digs

The new digs are still a dusty shambles but I am slowly just going ahead and unloading boxes while just wiping things down with a damp cloth. As much as we tried to get rid of before the move, it seems as though the household possessions have doubled in size while the amount of space we have in a house has shrunk.

The cat is having trouble adjusting too but she's on the mend. After not eating, drinking, or pooping or coming out from under the covers on the bed for the first 36 hours in the new house, Ellie appears to be back to normal. She is up to her old tricks and appetite. 

My beautiful hair color has started to fade already because of the cheap shampoo I've had to use until I can find my color-safe shampoo. There are two large bottles of it somewhere in the massive maze of boxes and bags here. I am also doing a bit of Amazon shopping for things that I suspect were left behind, as I find I need them. Probably gonna go broke on Amazon but its so darned convenient and, with John's Amazon Prime sharing, most of it has free shipping.

I did not know we had an active phone land line into the house until I started getting political robot calls. I am kinda glad to be out of touch with the news and media a bit for now, at least until all is said and done with the elections. I'd rather not be sucked into the maelstrom of rage and propaganda on television and radio this week.


Thursday, October 30, 2014

Last Supper with Cindi & John

John ordered fragrant rice with charcoal grilled lamb.

Last supper with Cindi and John at Com

Dinner at Com with Cindi & John  on the last night in Atlanta before the big move. I ordered Pho Ga.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

this is not shaping up to be a good weekend

MonsterMustDie is in town this weekend. Yesterday was my birthday and between that and the move, I have an obligatory family visit starting this afternoon that he has agreed to accompany me to.

I am getting a strong indication that he does not want me in North Carolina with him. There is a sunroom in back that was once a back porch, now closed in and windowed. I had already put in dibs on that one room in the new house as an area for myself. Just as expected, he is already saying "The neighbors can see what's in there" as if to say he does not want me making a mess, which means he prefers I don't use that area for anything. This is a room that already houses the laundry machines and a big hole in the wall for an unplugged dilapidated window unit AC. His latest comments on things I like are "Great. Another expensive thing to sit around." I wonder if this is how he split with his first wife - through passive actions pushing her until she could not take any more.

Update:
In spite of good efforts to work in a trip to Home Depot on the way and still planning to arrive early, we got to my mother's house five minutes late of the absolute deadline she had given me at 2:05 pm. Or so we thought. There was no on at her flat but her and the dogs. She had forgotten to tell us that plans had changed. No one in the family was coming except my brother and sister-in-law, who would be picking up my mother (thank God she's not driving!) and taking her to a place my brother had picked out in midtown called "Poor Calvin's" for dinner. Reservations for dinner had been made for all of us at 7:30 p.m.

We had not eaten yet, planning on the late lunch/early dinner gathering, and had otherwise planned to do a lot of work on packing and meeting up with people who had purchased used items at the house in the early evening after time with the family. Those plans were now effectively trashed. We agreed that we would all just meet at the restaurant this evening. Then, MonsterMustDie and I headed back to the house to accomplish what we could at the house in the small amount of time we might have before heading out again for time with my family. On the way home, we stopped by Steak and Shake, where he got something he'd been craving for a while - chilli and a grilled cheese sandwich. Then we ran home. He got filthy working in the shed to pull things out and dismantle boards for a couple in the neighborhood to pick up later, and I pulled a few more things out to pack and did a tiny bit of laundry.

Friday, October 17, 2014

October 17

Birthday greetings from Google

Sunday, October 12, 2014

no place for a woman

Thus far on the new house, I will not have my own fully functioning bathroom for a while. Instead, there is a second, smaller bathroom with a tiny shower and no shelves or counter space. In other words, there is no place for grooming or toiletries or makeup other than a medicine cabinet.

Yesteday, he told me the kitchen is not a priority for him and he has no need for a blender or food processor - but he forbids me from buy an affordable Black and Decker blender because he says they make poor quality products. The kitchen has an outdated electric stovetop and oven. The space is small. He brought the microwave oven, originally mine, to the NC house and that will be our main source of hot food.

He also keeps repeating that I should have no problem finding work after we move. Either he does not want me there and is passively pushing me out by making my life as restricted as possible or he really thinks I could find a job that would allow me to contribute equally if I wanted to. If I could find a job, I would not be moving. We are relocating to a low-income area that has been in a depression for the last 15 years. 

Things are not going well this weekend.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Treat for Ellie a.k.a. Tiny Dynamine

Thursday, October 09, 2014

lost in the weeds

Talked to John today and he admonished me for buying small things and having them sent to the new house because:
1. I should not be shopping for anything now.
2. He does not want anything else he has to put into a cabinet.

In other news, the large bathroom - my bathroom - is not finished, will not be finished, and does not have a working toilet. I will have to make do with the small closet-sized bathroom for the foreseeable further.

Without checking city zoning and regulations, like I suggested weeks ago, he purchased a new wall-mounted mailbox for the house. Today, he got notice in the mail that mailbox will not be to code and must be replaced with a street-side mailbox per current postal regulations. Fortunately, he has time to return the large new mailbox he purchased and get his money back. He has already ordered a new mailbox to install at the street.

I believe his views may be changing on the importance of having sheltered off-street parking. This is a good thing, since I don't want to have to park under a tree at the top of the yard, blocked in by his car.

He is losing time by concentrating on every minute dent and scratch and crack in the wall while he still has not painted any room yet. There is no way he can make every wall perfect and he admits he has lost a lot of time by not being able to just let go of his quest for perfection. The OCD mind does not work well with tight deadlines.

He's working like crazy, to the point of breaking while trying to live his first home-owner dream.


Monday, October 06, 2014

unwell.

MonsterMustDie was home in Atlanta for a couple of days this weekend to visit and load up as much I could have him take to the new house. I know he sees it as stuff to lug inside but anything to lighten the amount we have to load up and unload all at once when we make the BIG move will be good.

Feeling very unwell today. I went out for brunch at Babettes cafe. I had the shrimp grits and wild mushroom soup and 1 (one) basil lemonade before we went to Oakland cemetery to walk around the Sunday In The Park festival. Today, I feel like I'm having a bad hangover - nausea, dreadful headache. 

Now, I've still got to go to Kroger to restock on a few small things like bottled water, etc. I would rather spend the entire day in bed sleeping whatever is ailing me off.

Otherwise, brunch was delicious and Oakland cemetery was fun - perfect day for walking around outside. Music was not so great this year but there were some good vendors of handmade jewelry, period clothing, and something I had not seen before - heirloom plants being sold that were propagated from some of those in the landscape of Oakland Cemetery. The flowers and shrubs they had for sale were beautiful and I was very excited at the idea of taking some of those heirloom plants with me to add to the landscape of a new home. 

I am looking forward to having a more productive day tomorrow when I feel better. 

Monday, September 15, 2014

Regional Delicacies

Interesting because I never know what is specific to the south in relation to products like food, drinks, etc. An old friend phoned me last week to ask if I knew how to make pimento cheese because no one in New Jersey or New York sells it or knows what it is. He also asked if my mother had a favorite recipe for it. 

We are moving away from Atlanta next month (during my favorite season of Halloween *sigh*) and I wonder if what I will miss other than people and what I need to stock up on before I leave, even though so many things appear to be universal, at least on a national or regional level. 

I've never missed anything Southern while in places like New York or Paris France, but I've never set up a house or gone grocery shopping there either. 

I know you can't find peanut butter in France, but I can live without that - or substitute tahini. 

I have, however, done grocery shopping in Los Angeles and know there are regional equivalents to most things, although I think Atlanta has better restaurants. 


Sunday, September 07, 2014

missing too many things

After a long holiday weekend of missed opportunities last week and this week, I've kinda pulled away from my Facebook checking and posting for a while, in shame and self-pity.

Meanwhile, every conversation with my mother is increasingly unpleasant. She really is impossible to argue with when it comes to the move to North Carolina in the near future. She even asked me to move in with her, at the retirement community, to avoid going out of state. I can't seem to make her understand that this is impossible. I can't make her accept that the NC move is the only logical thing to do now - for all I know, it might be a positive change if I can find something to do with myself there. I get a small amount of freelance and temp work in Atlanta but it's far from enough to make a living for myself. There is no retirement fund parachute since all my accounts disappeared when my father died and the recession hit all at once. No. North Carolina is the only answer and her escalating disagreements with me make me dread every conversation with her.

After the move, when it's all said and done, I hope that it will be easier to talk to her. For now, I can't deal with it.

I am extremely thankful that MonsterMustDie has a very good job that is only going to be better at the new location. I am thankful that he is willing to support me entirely after the move. I am not looking forward to being a "kept woman" but I am thankful he is willing to take care of me and I hope I can make his investment in me worthwhile.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

rainy weekend

We've had thunder storms, briefly, nearly every day this past week. All this after  weeks so hot and dry that everything outdoors was crunchy and wilted.

We met my mother for dinner yesterday at Babette's Cafe, a favorite restaurant for all of us. Great food every time, consistently, and Marla always remembers everything about me and is very friendly when we are there. Usually, we meet for brunch at Babette's Cafe but its been a long time since we met up late enough for dinner and both my mother and myself were desiring a true dinner with a more diverse menu at wine o'clock. I pushed for making reservations as early as possible so no one would have to drive home after dark. I had forgotten about the rain forecast for nearly every day this week. Usually, storms don't last long here. They're over in less than an hour and it seems as if the more intense the weather is, the shorter the duration.

We had a great meal, as usual. I had the chicken and fresh artichokes because I wanted something hardier and more filling than a vegetarian entree. Mother was planning on the halibut, her favorite summer dish at Babette's, until all of us watched a plate go by with the steak and a nice pile of fresh onion rings on of it. She had steak. MonsterMustDie had the veal piccata. Mom and I had fresh blueberry tart for desert while MonsterMustDie had a snifter of Drambuie.

We worked at keeping the conversation light and not dwelling too much on the upcoming move to North Carolina. Mother doesn't want us to go. I don't want to go either but, as we both tried to explain, relocating to North Carolina for John's employer really does seem to be the only viable option for us. It looked like things were going to turn to tears so I switched the subject to my niece's wedding in February. Then I switched it again to health issues of other family members and any gossip I could pull up.

All went well from there until it was time to leave. At the time we paid and relinquished our table, an evening thunder storm rolled in and we sat for 45 minutes in the front of the restaurant across from the tiny bar, waiting and hoping it would slack off soon. I was seeing daylight, another very important factor in my mother making it home safely, fading as we waited for a break in the rain. It was suggested that one of us could drive her home in her car while the other followed, which seemed like a good option to me, but she would not hear of it so we finally made it out into the night as soon as the wind died down a bit with the rain still heavy. She looked like she wanted to cry but she absolutely would not let us take her home. So we had no choice but to let her go alone into a rainy night. Once we got home, I phoned her house every 15 minutes to see if she'd made it home yet. (Why? I don't know. I can't think of anything we could do if we did not hear from her of if she didn't make it home. It's just that need to know she was okay.) I finally got hold of her about 90 minutes after all of us left the restaurant. She had a long slow drive but she made it home all right. I believe this is the last time we will meet her for dinner so far from her home or in the evening. 

Friday, July 25, 2014

We are buying a house in North Carolina and moving soon.

MonsterMustDie is on his way to North Carolina to look at houses for sale again.
I am staying home for this trip. I felt it was important for me to be there to at least attempt to put in my opinion on some of the houses being viewed and, hopefully, guide his decision-making a bit in the future. However, there are so many antique malls and flea markets he wants to visit coming and going, it is easier for me to avoid the death march this time and allow him to indulge his passion alone.

It looks like we'll be moving to High Point, North Carolina some time after October. I am strongly pulling for us to be absolutely in Georgia through one last Halloween season. I'd like to enjoy one more Pumpkin Carving Party and night of trick-or-treaters and awesome Halloween House decor before leaving all of my small joys behind.

Stuff I found today:

Monday, June 30, 2014

more frustration dreams

Last night was filled with more frustration dreams but for once it was not about work.

 I dreamed about tech fail situations and funerals. I dreamed I had to make it to two memorial services and I had to depend on a navigation device to get to the locations of both. The device kept refusing to take my input on the first location and it refused to remember the street or number on the second location. Both events were filled with people I did not know but there seemed to be a lot of people who know who I was. I was able to get a ride to the first service but no one there knew how to get to the second service and no one else could get my navigation device to work either.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

looking for mailbox money

Last week, I had an interview for a job close to home that would be work I am so familiar and confident with, I could do it blindfolded with one arm tied behind my back but I have yet to hear back from my interviewer on whether I get to come back or if they have already chosen someone else. It is a job I would really love to have.

I still am also still waiting some mailbox money for my time working as a graphic designer for a film company but more work is starting to drip in this week. Monday was full of extras work in the city. Tuesday was spent with Mme Perry working on music promotion and planning podcast production.
Next week, I have a temp gig starting. It is a bit far from here but the drive is north, away from the city, so I fully expect an easy commute. Fingers are crossed for that one.

Here is a little something I found on the web that is both amusing and oh so true to life. I know people like this.


Update:
The temp agency let me know this afternoon that the new job has been delayed and will now start on July 9, rather than June 30.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Summer Solstice

Last night’s party to celebrate the Summer Solstice was much more successful than I expected. Despite the heat and early thunderstorm, we had a big crowd show up a bit late and a good night filled with art, food, drink, and a special performance on an electronic instrument by John Butler.


Now, I have plenty of still-cold sangria made by John Eaton. Thinking Indian take-out would go very well with it If I could find someone to share it with today. We also still have a tent with mosquito netting set up in the back yard.





Thursday, June 19, 2014

maybe moving to HighPoint NC

Looks like there is a possibility that we might be moving to High Point, North Carolina.

I am still unemployed and just make enough on rent from my condo to squeak by on rent here and my condo fees. This week, MonsterMustDie's employer has hinted at planning an entire shut down of the location in Atlanta in favor of cheaper show room facility in NC near their new North American production facility. At first, he thought that they would keep a sales office open in Atlanta that he could work out of in a customer service and support job.

We are too old to negotiate on anything work-related. If he loses this job, there will be no other employer willing to take him on at his age. We're both too old to be hired by anyone and too young and poor to retire so if they are willing to keep him employed in exchange for relocating, that is what we will have to do.
It's not a done deal yet - we don't know if he can keep his job or if he absolutely must work from North Carolina, but it's looking that way this week.

As for myself, I don't foresee any changes in my employment but I think NC would be a much less competitive environment for graphic design. However, the economy there is more depressed than here. Thus the company, Buzzi, is already being heralded as a fantastic gain by the Governor and Mayor. The city of High Point, I am told, is unbelievably excited about their manufacturing facility and showroom opening there.

Sunday, June 08, 2014

late spring weekend

The weather is incredible but the summer heat is already getting me down. I wilt to the point of dizziness. There are outdoor events I am avoiding, like Tunes From The Tombs, if there is no escape from the sun.

 Last night, we went to a duo-birthday party at the home of Thomas and Lindsay, in Marietta. The theme was an Enchanted Garden Birthday Party and it was a great evening. They had obviously spent a lot of days clearing, landscaping and decorating their back yard for an outdoor party. Tiny lights were everywhere, in lamps on tables, in a sculptural fire pit of painted logs standing as vertical pillars with candles on top of them, strung overhead from the house to the trees, and lighting tents in the back yard. Low seats and tables were made from wood palettes that had been a smoothed and painted with short legs attached to make tables and pillows placed on top to create seats. Friends had worked to put out a spread of food and booze on the back porch and, as usual for them, there was a digital photo booth set up for guests. Fortunately, the rain held off and it was a clear night. I mostly sat at tables in back, talking with friends, and MonsterMustDie walked around catching up with people he'd not seen in a while, since he rarely goes out with me to these things. One of the best things for guests were paper fans that were placed on some tables. Loved the paper fans and used one most of the night that kept me comfortable. We got home around 1:00 a.m.

MonsterMustDie woke up feeling a bit delicate this morning. We both took naps at some point during the day. He worked on sculptures in the afternoon while I cleaned, prepped food & did some laundry and we had Cindi & John over for dinner in the evening that featured grilled sausages from Pine Street Market and sauteed lambs quarters that were on sale at the Peachtree Road Farmers Market. We had fresh baguette with sliced radishes and salted butter, also from the Farmers Market. Just the right end to the day - good fresh food with good company & fun conversation. It makes me a lot happier to have an active weekend with stimulating social activity.

Tomorrow, he has another very early day at work and I have dinner with the girls.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Sometimes, I choose to be in a relationship just to keep other men away from me.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Happy Mother's Day

Chaz invited me to the filming of Zombie Juice starting today at 6:00 a.m. but, since I am not committed to that (no one expects me or returned my messages on the project), I have decided to keep today open for other things - like a possible visit with my mother. 

After a long work week (which I greatly enjoyed but it wore me out) I slept in this morning and i have been trying to phone or email my mother for the last two days, thinking I should probably make plans with her today or  at least reserve the day for her. I guess she's booked elsewhere this weekend.


Now, I've got to decide how to spend the rest of this Sunday. 

Saturday, May 10, 2014

This Week


Friday ended a 5-day job working for my friend Carrie on a film production. It was great to have a very busy work week. I was quite tired by the end of every 10-hour day but it was exhilarating  to work for people who appreciated what I was doing and complimented me every day on my work and how much I could do. Work is good and makes me happy when it is in a positive environment. This week has been great. 

The only down was that Friday, Carrie and her staff (me) were to be replaced by new people from California. Oh well... it was good while it lasted and I met some nice people. 

Packing for Chicago trip



MonsterMustDie is going on a business trip this week for NeoCon. Ellie cat finds his suitcase very cozy. 

Monday, April 28, 2014

Batten Down The Hatches

Perhaps the termites in the planter will be washed away by gulley-washer of a storm that is forecast to blow through here for the next 48 hours. MonsterMustDie dug out the area around the lost plant and we have only seen one or two isolated termites since then - and we have not lost any more plants.

Meanwhile, the weather service predicts that the next two days will contain heavy two days will be filled with severe thunder storms  that will not be past us until Thursday. This will be a test on the present condition of the roof over my condo. I am more concerned about the condo than I am with the house we are in now. My main concern here is that we will be without electrical power again if some trees come down. We have an overgrown sweet olive that hangs over the lines coming into the house and always looks like it will yank the cables off the house. Most of the trees in the neighborhood are in good condition but there are several dead and ivy-festooned trees behind us on land owned by Dekalb County. We'll just have to wait and see what happens with that.

Today is also MonsterMustDie's birthday. I gave him a book and Criterion DVD from his wish list. We didn't make any plans to go out because it is a big work week for him. Looking out over his domain, he had the idea that he'd like to do another Summer Solstice party at the house that focuses on art rather than music. I intend to leave the preparations to him this time around just to keep from arguing about it. I'd love to have another creative gathering but I know we will clash horribly if I start trying to organize what I believe we would need to do it right and disturb his minimalist ideals. We'll see how things go. Gives me anxiety just thinking about it.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Termites + Garden.

John came home from work today and was inspecting and weeding his planter in the back yard while I watched through the kitchen window. He pulled something out of the box and started inspecting it carefully and knocking dirt off the bottom and looking more closely at it. I came outside to see what was going on. “What kind of bug is this?” he said, handing me the rootless stem “It looks like white ants.” I looked at the shape of the insect coming out of the hollow of the stem. “Termites” I said. There was no doubt in my mind from the unique shape of the creature. He doubted my prognosis, believing termites only eat dead wood. I pointed out that termites are colony insects and there will me many more where those came from if he looked. Then he dug into the soil and found plenty of termites underground.

I've never seen this before in a garden. Just weird if he did not place it over a tree trunk or roots from a fallen tree. Ants would be a lot easier to deal with because they usually leave plants alone, just going after the insects, like aphids, around them. You can usually work around ants. But termites? I think his garden is a goner this year.

I am wondering what, if anything, he can do to save the rest of his work in the planter? They do not seem to be in the wood of the frame as far as we can tell. Don't know where they came from unless they were somehow already the cabbage seedlings he bought.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Here comes the rain.

Roofs are important. They are not an area to be cheap on.

I hope my condo stays dry this time. The roof is leaking again after it was supposedly fixed and after hundreds of dollars were spent making repairs and painting the inside. The condo owners association continues to argue over the cost of a new roof - an argument that has gone on for decades.

When I first moved in year ago, all or most of my neighbors were convinced that, any day now, someone would make an incredible offer on the property and it would sell to make room for a high-rise. I'm sure that is why my father advised me to buy a condo rather than rent an apartment. He also warned me for years to NEVER sell my place without his approval or a go-ahead from my brother, both of them being CPAs and business men. That day never came but there are still too many investor owners who have no interest in the maintenance of the building or living there. Times like this, I would love to sell the place and free myself from constant battles like this one where I feel like no one listens to me or cares. I advise all of my friends to NEVER BUY A CONDOMINIUM. There are still some people who do, despite my advice, and every one of them has regretted their decision. When you mix residents with investors, there is a no-win situation. My hands are tied legally from doing anything with the outside maintenance and repairs on the building that I share with others.


On a more positive note, the garden will probably jump into action after a good rain. I have small tomato and pepper seedlings that I plan to pop into the ground after the storms this week have passed.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

What I learned today

I had never heard of a "fat quarter" before today. It is a term used by people selling fabric that refers to a half yard of half the width of the fabric. It's a size used a lot by crafters and quilters but not much in actual sewing of garments or larger things. 

Monday, April 07, 2014

feeling overwhelmed

I feel like I am being stalked by Miguel Rosario at Colorado Technical University. He says I am enrolled in classes now but I have not even had transcripts sent to them or found any grants or loans to pay for furthering my education yet. I want to stop this dialog and maybe pick it up later, when I have things spread out in front of me that explain how I am supposed to afford this and how well this will enable me to find work afterwards. 
For all I know, I am also enrolled at Mercer and Westwood now. Maybe Full Sail and University of Phoenix as well. 
I made the mistake of saying I was interested in going back to college and, although I would strongly prefer an on-campus experience, I was open to online schools. 
More than anything, I just want a job and every employer seems to require a current (new) Bachelors or Masters degree - in a "related" field (which mostly appears to be programing or IT).
Every online University wants me to have started classes today or some time this week or month. Mr. Rosario is demanding to know why I have not logged into the College and started my classes. This makes me want to run away screaming from the entire idea of talking to anyone about college classes anywhere. I made $16000 last year and the cheapest degree program is $50000.00+ but everyone's like "No problem. Just start this degree program and we'll sort it out later. 

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

What I learned today

Years ago, one of the best bits of advice I heard from one friend to another:
Want to know how to be a good lover? Make the other person feel like they're a Great lover.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Here I am

Waiting for variable data files to come in so someone can show me where they go.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

What I learned today.

1. Never tell a cab driver where you're going until you are seated with the door closed.

2. Never pay a cab drive until you have your bag and your luggage out of the trunk.


It's a freelance life

Cleaning out old emails, I found several from Graphcom when I was interviewing with them. They were asking me to drop everything I was working on at the time immediately but I insisted on at least giving full notice with my freelance and long-term (part-time) temp gigs and providing any assistance I could in finding my replacement before leaving. After I came in there, Ken Carter, the vice president, kept assuring me that they were thrilled to have me on their team and what a great full time job this would be with full benefits.

I had a bad feeling when I started work in a graphics department that was completely new employees with the exception of one older man, who had some sort of undisclosed health issue, that was responsible for training everyone in every department. No one had more than one or two weeks more time with Graphic Industries (the parent company) than I did. No one knew exactly what procedures were supposed to be or who was responsible for what. Even the pressmen were fairly new to the company. One had just left and another would probably soon be replaced because, as Ken said, he made too many mistakes. There was a new girl training on the Indigo printer, who started the same time I did that, who always had very unfortunate wardrobe choices. They kept trying to get her to wear the official Indigo blue lab coat and she kept working in t-shirts an leggings, which was not a good work outfit for anyone (leggings are NOT pants - I don't care what you see at Walmart) especially an especially fleshy girl. Even one of the people who interviewed me was no longer with the company.

I'd been there for a while, getting to know the ever-changing cast of characters there. I got a phone call at home at 8:30 p.m. on Sunday night, before the Monday morning my full employee benefits be in effect, Ken phoned me to tell me not to come in on Monday. He said it would be awkward since they had hired someone else for my position. No reasons were given why. I still have my key card somewhere, which I'm told is immediately de-activated. They still have my Pantone mug and a drawer of snacks and a gray cardigan sweater. I never cared much for the sweater anyway but I needed it for the cold office. I do, however, miss the Pantone mug.

The next week, I saw a want ad for the Indigo operator position at Graphcom, which was open for a new hire. They are constantly re-stocking employees in all areas. What I don't get is this - Why couldn't they just hire me as a subcontractor or temp? That would have been far less damaging than having me drop absolutely everything else in my professional life, including independent health insurance, to work for them while they needed me. Instead, everyone is a short-term "full-time employee" with that corporation. Really, being officially an independent contractor is far easier for anyone working for them. I am sure there is some business-savy reason for them to be that way and it is a formula Graphic Industries has worked out, with no consideration for the human factor.



Spinning round and round

Spinning round in circles today trying to schedule repairs on the leaking roof, looking for or scheduling work. Nothing set in ink all day. 

We waited through two good rainy spells to make sure my condo was staying dry before we made not one but two repairs to the ceiling before I found a new tenant for my former home. She moved in this month and now, at the first two-day rain we get, the water poured into my condo in the space  between the kitchen and the breakfast nook, destroying all the repairs that were made and leaving me scrambling all weekend to get some action from the condominium association to repair the roof. There was a raging silence from everyone until today. I had to phone the building manager yesterday until I got him on the phone to let me know he had contacted the roofing company, Hudson Specialty Group, to repair the building. Meanwhile Caroline, who is living in my unit now, is desperately calling and emailing me to let me know the ceiling is peeling away and the leak is getting worse. 

With all this going on, I was originally planning to work for Lone Wolf today but none of that happened. I've been able to slide all of those plans to a half day on Friday at a new workspace. I am feeling hopeful about the new location for those meetings. I haven't worked for anyone or on anything for weeks now. 

Wednesday, I have another one-day job that might also have to be broken apart or lost if I have to meet the roofer at the condo. If I can have a tight time to show up to show them the damage during a lunch break or if Caroline can meet them in the early morning, things will work out much better for me. 

Now, it is well past 6 p.m. The work day has ended for everyone, and all I can do is carry with my original work plans until I hear differently from anyone else. Emails have been written. Phone calls have been made. Texts have been sent to those not answering their phones or emails. 


Sunday, March 16, 2014

New shoes


Got my new "office shoes" in the mail. The old shoes were falling apart when I tried to wear them last week for something that a bit of heel would have helped. They had dried out and started disassembling themselves. One sole was coming loose and the heel of the other shoe had already fallen off. Looks like they were joined together with glue. Anyway, since they were at least ten years old (probably more like 15 - 20 year old shoes) I decided it was time for a new pair of professional-looking basic black shoes. 

When I put them on, I had that new-shoe thrill once I decided they fit well and were keepers. 

Monday, March 10, 2014

The Gift

From the cousins. It is a kind present from Southern Baptists who have never tasted wine. Smells like cheap cologne and has a tangy sweet flavor kinda like country wine.

Friday, March 07, 2014

It's a Freelance Life



This is how it is for everyone now, no matter what they do or want to do for a living.

Friday, February 28, 2014

'Why everything sucks'

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

unicorn

Missing my dad today. He was quite a character. Not perfect but did the best with what he had. Quite old-school. A rare creature . He was a red head with hair the color or a new penny, blue eyes, sun-painted with freckles, color-blind. Had a genetic nervous condition. Laughed like a wild hyena when he meant it. 6'5". Wish you could have met him.

Tuesday, February 04, 2014

creative solutions

I remember, years ago, a friend told me how he managed teen-friendly game rooms and music clubs. There had been a lot of gang activity in the area and his place was no exception. He managed to actually make his place unattractive to gang boys. How? He imposed a dress code for all patrons. That was enough to send them all out of his place. It was no longer badass enough for them.

hidden vampires

It is amazing how many unnecessary charges have been on my credit card for so long. I've been spending this past month removing myself from services and sites I don't recall knowingly signing up for.

A lot of them were unmentioned add-ons from one-time services or accounts set up years ago. Ever since the Target credit card security breech and getting a re-issued card, I haven't been using my credit card at all, except for the very necessary maintenance of some accounts. Those smaller bills have allowed me to look much more critically at my bills.


I'll probably start using the card again more liberally after I have everything whittled down to as tiny an amount as possible every month. I am wondering now how much I can re-negotiate my cell phone services. I've been very unsatisfied with my T-Mobile account recently because of long periods with now connection, calls dropping off for no apparent reason, and very slow data service on important things like the navigator I depend on sometimes. It seems like I am paying far too much for a lot of things these days.

Friday, January 31, 2014

night falls

Ah, yes. It's been another long day of nothing. 
The high point of the day was going to a neighborhood friend's house to help her give her cat injections of fluids to treat kidney failure. That was the only time I left the house during the day. I try to avoid going out just because it inevitably involves spending money and I am not working or making money these days, so I try to avoid temptation. However, that also means that I am avoiding stimulation of any kind, mental or physical, and increasing my atrophy. The devil and the deep blue sea. I am very glad to be helpful to her and their very sweet old calico cat. It also teaches me a bit about the whole procedure that so many of my friends have to do for their elderly pets.


A lot of things here have come to a halt this week because of “ClusterFlake 2014” that cause the entire Atlanta area to shut down completely for a couple of days. This is not the week to accomplish much when it comes to work or job hunting. Some people slept in their cars, stranded on the highway in traffic jams caused by everyone rushing to go home at once when snow started falling. Others were iced in at home. My brother spent the night sleeping in a Chick-fil-A after refusing to stay overnight at his office and trying to make it home to Powder Springs from Newnan, Georgia.


I logged onto and registered with a few more job boards as well this week, so now the phone is ringing all day long with telemarketers, an inevitable part of having my information out there on employment sites, trying to sell me classes and other services. Healthcare is quite popular to study these days and that is the first thing all of them try to get me to sign up for classes in. When they hear I am a Graphic Designer with a useless degree in Visual Communications, they try to sell me courses in Beauty and Fashion, which I inform them will not help me to find a job to even pay back the tuition for the classes. I also have not interest in paying for monthly job placement services that they can not guarantee will get me any interviews or employment. If a so-called headhunter wants to collect a commission on jobs they actually find for me and place me in, I'll be glad to pay them for their services, but $100 a month to be listed on their website is ludicrous. Then again, the phone calls do let me talk to another human being during the day and practice my conversational skills. I've kinda started getting chatty with the telemarketers. Hey, let's do lunch some time.


Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Snow Day

Snow is an uncommon thing here in the Atlanta area. Maybe it will snow here once a year or every two years. It started snowing, as predicted, yesterday afternoon. MonsterMustDie left work around noon and even stopped to pick up coffee, bottled water, beer, etc. on the way home and got in before traffic and ice got very bad here. Today, the city is shut down. All of the snow that fell yesterday refroze to a nice slick sheet of ice on the roads overnight and a lot of people with long commutes home from work had to spend the night in their cars or had to abandon their cars and walk home or to hotels, etc.

Two things I wish I'd done on Monday -
Lacking adequate enthusiasm, I did not opt to stop by the grocery on my way home Monday night to pick up bird seed. I had refilled the feeders just a couple of days ago and now they sit completely empty.
I also wish I had, before leaving the house, pulled out my rope lights and un-twisted them and laid them out in the fun patterns I wanted to have under the snow and ice. Once the snow started falling, it was too cold and thus not enough time to do what I could have with the lights. I still put them out after wondering if I should or not and it looks fun but I know how much more I could have done. Next time, perhaps.





Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Sacred Economics with Charles Eisenstein - A Short Film

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

maybe

I had an interview yesterday morning with Debbie and Burton, two people I used to work for in the '90's who I adore. We ended up talking and going over things until after noon. We still reached no agreement on whether I would work there. The main issue is taxes. The job I had years ago with them was my fun job but I was an independent contractor the entire time. Every year, despite my father the CPA making arrangements for me to pay taxes quarterly, I would have to pay more and more taxes. The last straw working there was when I got stuck with a tax bill of several thousand dollars and I had to get a loan from my father to pay taxes. These days, my father is long gone and I have no accountant or daddy to bail me out so I can never work like that again. The problem is, they don't feel they can afford to take me in as an official employee or pay what I would normally charge for independent contractor work. I phoned one of the temp agencies I sometimes work for and they said they could do payrolling for them on me. That seems like the most agreeable thing to do for all of us, if they accept that. I am hoping we can work something out. 

There are no other job offerings or work coming in this week. With the cold being what it is and me being physically broken this week, I am not too sad about the lack of movie extra work. In better physical conditions, the minimum wage extras work is actually more advantageous than the freelance work offer - I take home a little less pay but all taxes are taken care of and I get my forms all nice and organized at the end of the year, and most sets feed extras three warm meals a day. 

Saturday, January 18, 2014

well enough

My mother spent three days in the hospital following her surgery this week. She's home now, with her dogs, feeling much better than before the entire event so maybe the entire experience was worthwhile.
We visited her in the hospital and I've tried to phone her daily to check up on her since she came home.


In other news, I got my hair cut yesterday. The last person to cut & color my hair was no longer salon I went to so they assigned the new girl to me. I don't think I'll be going back again. She wore latex gloves that pulled hair out every time she grabbed a lock. The intent of the color was to cover up some of the gray coming in now but there still seems to be just as much gray as before and her attempts at making conversation were as painful as the hair pulling to me.

Still, here's the new do:


Friday, January 17, 2014

What I read today.

My favorite quote today came from Amanda Palmer’s blog.

There's something very powerful about taking the hate-knives that are thrown at you, catching them and waving them in the air, like an internet jujitsu master.

Friday, January 10, 2014

This has been a lousy day.

After no phone service yesterday, I have my phone back today, for now. Yesterday, I had no bars of service all day. My service had started to fail Wednesday, dropping calls I was on.

Got an appallingly discouraging letter of rejection from another company insisting my education was not up to their requirements.

Just got a call from my uncle as I was headed home from a job interview in the afternoon. My mother had scheduled eye surgery today and didn't do well coming out of recovery. They could not get her blood oxygen level up without giving her oxygen. She also has serious fluid retention issues. So they're keeping her in the hospital overnight until they see what's going on.
I phoned MonsterMust Die with the news and waited for him to go with me to visit her in the hospital after they got her in a room. Her cell phone battery was dead so I took my extra cable and outlet adaptor to her.
We returned home around 10pm tonight from visiting her in the hospital. My brother and sister-in-law were there as well. I think she was in good spirits as we left. Unless there is an unexpected drug reaction from what they are giving her in the hospital, I believe she will look and feel much better tomorrow.

a new education

Every. Single. Ad. Requires a new Bachelors degree. Even the ones that state "or equivalent experience". And no one wants to give me a loan or grant for that.

Hello Jules,

Thank you for your application and interest in this position with our company.  However, this position requires a four-year degree.  You have indicated in your question set that you do not currently meet that requirement, although you do appear to have taking quite a few years of schooling, therefore we cannot progress your application as it stands.  If this is inaccurate, please let us know.  Otherwise, we wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors!

Regards,
The Human Resources Team
Company Documents

Wednesday, January 08, 2014

dreaming of wizards in a tropical paradise

In the last little nap just before waking, dreamt of a big family gathering at the house I'm living in now. But it was not quite the same. It was a huge sprawling estate and Clark was standing in front, amused, taking photos of neighbors across the street who were pointing rifles. No one was at all concerned about armed neighbors - they were of no consequence because somehow we were easily 10 times more powerful and better armed without guns.

Two children went to a fountain together unsupervised by their father, who was my older dreamed brother, who wouldn't bother to keep up with them. One sent the other on a wild goose chase that included a sort of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride in the water. My older brother, their father, freaked out and started chasing down the younger child. I left him to it because I was angry at him for being such a lazy father and thought he needed to go through some trouble to learn a lesson himself. Somehow, I was quite confident the child would be fine.

Then my mind's eye sees Clark again, using a long walking stick on a path with the older mischievous child, talking to him about life in a grandfatherly way like an elder of the tribe. He was a wizard and conjurer of some sort. The path they were on was a short cut to the destination of the child. While other adults might be very angry at the boy, Clark was just talking to him matter-of-factly about life and how things should be, very nonjudgemental and mature. Talking about how life and the world works. He was dressed either barefoot on in sandals, wearing what looked like a deep blue long muslim shirt or dress that had a grass skirt hanging out underneath it, with a wide-brimmed straw hat on.

Meanwhile, his father chased the younger child and local villagers found and picked up the child, putting it in a cart to take back with them.

Monday, January 06, 2014

knowing my limits


It's official. I am chickening out of working in the cold tomorrow. As much as I need work, I don't want to regret anything as much as I am sure I will regret being in a cold warehouse all day, under-dressed, mostly on my feet, for minimum wage.  I worked several days in a row in slightly warmer weather at the same job and my feet, legs, and hips ached for days afterwards. I had a lingering cough from the dust in the place for weeks that's just now easing.

I remember when I worked like that in my 30's on a film shoot that I was never paid for. I spoke to someone working on the crew for that day long afterwards and he told me the entire shoot had to be re-done because none of the footage was good enough to be used. Everyone's breath was foggy on a scene where they were supposed to be warm and the background crowd refused to stay in wardrobe and brought in heavy coats & gloves that were at their feet. They shot that day anyway because of their budget not including another day on set. They still had to reshoot regardless on a better day. I suffered for nothing at that job, unappreciated, and the memory is still there. It was not a fun adventure or a necessary step in my career.

Saturday, January 04, 2014

burdened

I've been stressing over the obligation for a film extras gig in an extremely cold, very dusty and unhealthy warehouse that I'm up for next week. I do not want to do this job. I still have a cough from all the dust I breathed in a week ago on this same job. It took days for my legs and hips to stop aching from standing up on a hard concrete floor during 15-hour work days. This is the most brutal background extra job I've been in. It is also the furthest I've had to travel - an hour in the predawn darkness there and another hour, exhausted, after dark. I don't want to do this job but I don't want the possibility of working the future. Some jobs really aren't worth it and this is certainly one of them. I console myself sometimes at these low paying gigs with the thought of at least two, usually three, good meals a day of kraft food but this job also only has one very bad hot meal a day.  I am actually hoping for an ice-storm next week just so I can feel better about saying no.

In an effort to cheer me up and protect me as much as possible from the cold, MonsterMustDie took me shopping at REI and bought me film set supplies like hand-warmers, foot-warmer, a blanket, and gloves. I also got a fun winter hat while we were there, just because I liked it. It was a very sweet thing to give me that even though I said many times before relenting and going shopping with him that I am not making enough money at this to justify buying supplies for work. I am not sure, even with 15-hour days, that it justifies the commute I have to make for it, especially now with the possibility of hitting black ice on the way there. This is something I need to just put out of my head for the weekend.

I also need to step away from the computer more for a while. My only dreams are frustrating images of working, or trying to work, at jobs where I have no instructions and can't read or type anything on screen over and over again. There are dreams about trying to get to work, trying to find where work is and getting lost, etc. in a car that is out of control. I need to somehow break away from the damage to my soul that I've sustained.

Friday, January 03, 2014

Dark. Cold. Wet.

So, yesterday, I posted an online status update that perhaps sounded much more woe-be-gone than I meant it to. 
It got me an invitation to lunch with a friend at her house, which I accepted and greatly enjoyed. I found her house for the first time and she had prepared a lovely tossed fresh green salad and home-made vegan lentil stew for us. Over lunch conversation, I learned we have many more ties than I previously thought. Near the end of my visit, I found out another friend of mine actually rents the shed behind her house, which he uses for a studio and shop to craft movie props and furniture. He came in just as I was ready to return home so we invited him in and had more great conversation about art, movie-making, aliens, government, religion, etc. I call it a good afternoon. 

Today has been spent spinning around in circles, mostly. As I write this, MonsterMustDie is home after a very successful treasure hunt in an estate sale. There is hot food on the stovetop, waiting for friends to join us for dinner, while MonsterMustDie's treasures are still sitting on the dining table just so he can show them off. 

I am now drinking hot gluhwein until dinner guests arrive. 

Thursday, January 02, 2014

New Year's Day 2014

I baked Earl Grey Tea cookies in the morning. That was all I had time and ingredients for.
Then I spent the rest of the day at a couple of New Year open houses. Most of the afternoon was spent at Mike & Michael's house in Grant Park. Mike had prepared vegan greens and black-eyed peas and put out chips and nuts. Tweenage kids were playing video games in the living room while the adults stood chatting in the kitchen. Met some new people who had children Michael's age. Just when I started edging out to leave, when the conversation was all on parenting and not so much I could relate to, someone new came in or the conversation changed. I ended up spending the entire afternoon in the house of Mike.

At the end of the day, when everyone had left to prepare for an early bedtime and work the next day, I walked down the street with Mike and Andrew to visit the former site of Dottie's one last time before the lot is wiped clean to build a highrise. I can't imagine how the streets around Grant Park or the neighborhood will accommodate the traffic from a high-rise condo & office building there. Surely, streets will have to widened and the remaining old houses replaced with apartments soon. Too many friends of mine who live in the neighborhood are living in houses they no longer own but rent from their banks (bad timing on buying property) and I fear I'll face another mass exodus and relocation of friends. This would be a great time to buy, while prices are low, if anyone had full-time jobs and could budget for that.  Anyway, we said goodbye to Dottie's a final time, exchanged a few stories, and departed.

I ended the evening nearby at the House of Eleanor, where the mistress of the house was playing with static electricity, rubbing balloons and sticking them to guests, children and adults alike. The master of the house was especially cheerful much more loquacious than usual, chatting with other writers and enjoying the festivities. Plenty of food was spread out on the table, including savory pancakes and a cake which, like King cake, was supposed to have a charm of some sort inside it. Eleanor herself is missing two teeth in front but I failed to document it with the camera. Lava lamps lined the mantel under a disco ball.