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Monday, December 05, 2016

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Last night, I severed ties to Murray, a.k.a. Baby Maurice. I had been avoiding speaking to him since my mother's death, because I knew there was nothing good he would say to me and any conversation with him would send me down a negative path. This started when the first words out of his mouth over the phone, while I was grieving with my family the night after she died, was a smart remark. A really nasty remark that he did not think twice about saying.

After all these years, it finally got into my thick head that he is never going to be good for me to be around and has always prevented me from moving on with my life. There were some good times when we were both in our early twenties, but that period was too brief to hold onto. He was always the person who wanted me only when I found someone else and dumped me as soon as I was back around or available. I always wished we could have been friends as well as everything else that we were or were not but he was never a friend. He held onto me and kept me at a distance at the same time. That is neither love nor friendship. It's just possession - and maybe a lot of ego.

I finally hit the OFF switch on everything from him when he started texting nasty things about my mother's death last night just to vent his own anger at my silence. I should have done this on that night in February immediately after that phone call.

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