Thanksgiving Duckling

Roasting one up according Mark Bittman's instructions.

About to start a week of Cat-House sitting over the holiday. Getting my suitcase packed and looking forward to little change in my life for a few days.

In other news, I am also going to be working with a friend at a 12-hour catering gig today. I don't know how long a shift of this kind will work because I've never done it for this company before but I think this might me a very good investment of my time if it works out well. It actually pays better than the part-time temp job I have now, which is kinda sad because my temping requires skills that I've spent years building. I am hopeful all will go well today and I can get more work days like this in the future.

Now that everyone is getting in the holiday mood:

A disturbance in the force

I have an unexplainable feeling of melancholy this morning. 

back in their place

Home tonight at el Rancho. Doing laundry. The house mate is already asleep.

My mother came home yesterday from the hospital. My uncle picked her up and, being the good brother, stopped by Chik-fil-A on the way to buy her lunch. She said the diagnosis was acute bronchitis. They did not send her home with an antibiotic prescription but they did decide to change up some of her other medications a bit. My guess is that she had antibiotics in I.V. form while she was in the hospital. She assured me that she was on the mend and that her heart, blood pressure, and blood sugar levels were all good now. I'll try to visit her on Sunday if she will let me. She usually prefers to visit with me by meeting for lunch and not having us come to her home. If she doesn't feel good enough to go out to eat, she doesn't feel good enough for a visitor even if it is her daughter. I'm satisfied knowing she is feeling better and is back home now. My brother and sister-in-law are on vacation this week and my niece said she would clean her house before she got back home. I suppose it's fine that there is nothing for me to do.

MonsterMustDie is visiting his mother in Alabama tomorrow and I have a craft night with the girls to go to in the evening, so I will probably spend the rest of the weekend in Fort Feline. Looking forward to being around friends tomorrow.

Routine Maintenance is expensive.

Warrantees are finally expired on my 2007 Civic and it looks like my car service visits costing around $2000 are on their way back again. Glad things didn't get more expensive since my last old car. Glad I have credit cards. Still waiting at the dealership today since coming in for my maintenance appointment at 10:15 am. It is now 12:30 pm. I always have to wonder whether it would cost a lot less if I was male. Maybe I'm paranoid, but none of the guys I know seem to pay so much every time they bring their car in.

Update: the service on my care was much less expensive than I thought - still a lot more than I expected to spend today. The final cost was $594.16. 

still

My mother is still in the hospital. They have ruled out her breathing difficulty being any heart problem. They were to check her lungs again today. Haven't heard any word on when she'll be able to go home yet. Her two westies, Mac and Maggie are at the kennel and my niece has taken it upon herself to clean Mom's house while she's away. My uncle Ron is visiting her at the hospital, keeping an eye on her, so she is well taken care of. 

MonsterMustDie is still pretty sick with what now sounds like an upper respiratory infection. He won't see a doctor yet and there is nothing I can do but check in on him. He's eating soup and hanging out on the couch with Ellie Cat and watching old movies. 

I'm back to cat house sitting tonight. Tomorrow: car maintenance. It's time for an oil change, brakes, etc. so the early part of my day will be spent watching lobby TV and checking messages on the iPad. 

breath

Just so you know: I just got phone calls from Rachael Perry and Andy Perry letting me know that my mother, Loretta Perry is in the hospital tonight. She came in today with shortness of breath, after having trouble breathing all night. They are keeping her overnight at Kennestone Hospital for tests and observation. No clue what is going on yet. Andy and Mom said it might just be bronchitis but, if memory serves me right, this is not the first time she's suffered from shortness of breath recently. 

Trouble breathing seems to be the tale of many around me this month. This week is on the end of a long illness that my pal Mrs. Lounge has had several weeks now that started as a cold, developed into brochitis, and then further evolved into a fungal respiratory infection brought on by the after affects of antibiotics for the bronchitis and her own constant burning the candle at both ends between work, sick animals, and home maintenance. She had the clue she might need to chill and let herself get better last week when she had a fainting spell at Publix. 

Meanwhile, MonsterMustDie is ill from what we hope is just the effects of too much dust and paint fumes from work as they ready the warehouse for its new occupant, his new corporate employer. We're crossing our fingers and toes that he is not developing bronchitis or something worse. 

As for myself, I'm fine. My only problem is losing my eyesight (getting very night-blind from early cataracts, which will have to be dealt with soon but not immediately). 

missing a human connection

I miss him and think of him every day. I know I can not have him. He deserves to be happy. He is an extraordinary man and a traditional southern gentleman. The fact that he means so much to me makes him one of a kind.

Always seeking what I can never have.

I have been in the wrong place for too many years. Most days I feel as if I've lost myself forever.

He finally phoned on my birthday and offered to "put a smile on (my) face" for my birthday. This threw my heart and brain into an incredible conflict and my mood into a horrible downward spiral that I could not break out of the rest of the day. I had to refuse the offer because he supposedly is in a relationship now and I can not share or risk an impromptu visit from the competition. He is the only one I want but if I'd taken his offer, I doubt he would have any respect for me.

I keep thinking of his stories, of talking with him for hours, of long silver hair and eyes like winter sky.

lost in the ether

My attempt to get to work this morning using the live navigator was a huge fail. For reasons that only Google can fathom, my navigator took me to the geographic, rather than street address, of the company I work at part time. I ended up after several turns on small streets at a dead end cul-de-sac that was behind the company. At the point where the Navigator said “Your destination is on the left” I could see the loading docks at the back of the building through the trees and chain link fence to the side of the road. I had to back track, change Navigation options and app, and use a bit of my own bad sense of direction to get to work. What should have been a 30 minute drive took 45 minutes, so at least it got me in the neighborhood before throwing me into the unknown. Urgh!

too much wine

Had dinner with friends tonight and opened my mouth a bit too much.

Now, MonsterMustDie does not even want to speak to me tonight. He's that mad.

Note to self: Shut The Fuck Up about your personal, family, and financial life.

Saturday

Very good quality was spent having dinner with a pal last night. I'd love to have more evenings like that, with quality time and meaningful conversation to catch up with each other on what is actually going on in our lives.

Not much else happened since the interview. I went in for a short day to work in Tucker on Friday. Still looking for work or affordable classes wherever I can find either. I know I need to learn Java Script, maybe PHP, and MYSQL, and improve my Dreamweaver skills. I still question the use of CSS, at least from Adobe and MS apps, since it sometimes creates conflicts. Flash seems to have become a thing of the past now. I am not sure what else I could add to my skill set that would improve my ability to find work.

Today, I am planning to be at the East Atlanta Strut, which begins soon at 10:00 a.m. and goes on 11:00 p.m. tonight. Room mate wants to go and bring friends from the neighborhood, so I need to wake him up soon. I am sure it will be a long walk from where we are able to park to the festival by the time we get there. Taking a cab from a public parking lot in a nearby neighborhood would be sooooo much easier but I don't think I will be able to talk them into it. We'll see how easy it is to go there - I could be wrong.

Good Omens

Just when I start feeling sorry for myself in my jobless state again, I get a phone call from one of the temp agencies I am listed with. I have an interview on Thursday morning for a new temporary assignment, which actually happens to be closer to where I will be house-sitting next month than el Rancho. Wish me luck!

In other news, MonsterMustDie and his good cousin finally have his mother out of the neurological facility and in a nursing home. It is an old residence where other members of their family have spent their final years. They have her sleep and meds regulated now and she is much better. She still recognizes her son and niece and is healing from the injuries of weeks ago when she kept falling while in an over/wrongly medicated daze.

Last weekend was big. Saturday night I went with friends to the Beltline Lantern Parade.

Sunday was spent at the neighborhood pool celebrating a friend's birthday. A friend baked a home-made birthday cake that matched the bright Tiki party color theme.

Changes

MonsterMustDie's mother is still in the medical facility while they are trying to stabilize her sleep patterns. After that, she should be moving into a nursing home. She is no longer capable of living in a managed care residence. He is still under a lot of stress over all the changes in his life now. He told me that, while it was hard when his father died slowly and painfully, his mother's passing is hitting him much harder than the loss of his father ever could. I am eternally thankful for his cousin who is handling nearly everything that needs to be done for his mother in Alabama.

I will have more time on my hands soon. The part time temp position will be ending soon. They are out of work for me and now I am only going in one or two days a week. The production manager told me fall is always a slow time for them, when they let all the temps go, but the slow-down is coming a lot earlier again this year. I'm looking for any work I can get again, any day of the week. I can move my schedule around at the temp job, which is a low priority now. It's a shame they aren't busier since they seem to like me a lot there.

Next month, I will be house & cat sitting for a month for friends who will be traveling and working in three different countries. I think I will enjoy the "vacation" from el Rancho for a while. Meanwhile, temping and movie extra work keep me on an extremely early schedule, rising at 5:00 a.m., which will necessitate my staying overnight at the house to ensure I have time in the mornings to see to the cats before going to work. Of course, I will be visiting Rancho de WereMonster, but I will not be sleeping here at all.

Looking forward to changes.

sleepless

I'm up early, after getting out of bed 1st at 3:00am-ish to check on MonsterMustDie, who was sleeping on the sofa, and 2nd at 5:00am after being kept awake by the rain that is now slowing down. It has been a bad couple of weeks for MonsterMustDie and his mother, who is an Alzheimer's patient. When she moved into a managed care facility a few weeks ago, she appeared to be very over-medicated when he and his cousin visited her. Then she got worse in days and was stumbling, falling, and incoherent. They had asked for anti-depressants for her at the residence. Things were suggested to her personal physician who, not to be ordered around, prescribed something completely different. As it turns out, her doctor in Alabama prescribed drugs that have actually sped the Alzheimer's disease progression. She is at a medical facility now that is doing a study of her, and while she is awake more often now, the damage the drug did to her was described as setting her brain on fire. She will have to go into nursing home when she leaves the medical facility. They do not expect any improvement at this point.

The stress is getting to him. Stress trying to remotely care for his mother, with the help of his cousin. Stress from his job ending and waiting for a new job to begin, though that situation is going very well - his previous boss from the current job will be hiring him and another co-worker at the company that he's moved to - meanwhile, he has to keep dealing with helping the people firing them with managing and moving the warehouse and what is left of the Atlanta showroom to NJ and NY respectively. Stress from me being out of work for over two years without any unemployment benefits. It seems like it would be a perfect time for him to move back to Alabama but that is not what he wants to do. He is staying here and waiting for things to work themselves out.