Seasonal Conflicts

What will I be doing for Thankgiving and Xmas? I have no idea.

Years ago, when the older generation gave up hosting the various holiday gatherings, the younger generation of my family let it drop like the garter at a wedding. No takers. Which is fine except that now, every year, I can't make holiday plans until the last minute because I worry about my mother spending the holidays alone. She sometimes gets an invitation from my uncle or my brother to join in in-laws family gatherings. She will not commit on her own plans until the last minute. This also prevents me from making reservations at a nice restaurant, joining friends holidays, etc. in advance. Monster's family gatherings depress him and all of them live at least a four-hour trip away so he'd rather not make plans in that direction.

Last year all holiday plans were made null by Monster having a stroke on Thanksgiving. He is almost completely recovered now, with hardly any sign of the events that nearly ended his time here.

Now, my mother is having elective back surgery on Thursday and she's not given me information on any useful details. Details like when her surgery is scheduled, at what hospital, who or what entity she has for after care, if any. I believe she likes to test me. I work at a job that is a 45 minute to hour drive away from her, for a company too small for ample vacation time or sick leave. I could schedule time off at my own cost if I knew well in advance so they could schedule the work to accommodate for my absence.